Blue Collar- White Collar family upbringing is causing a clash in my marriage (dating, men)
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Using the word blue collar might have caused a misunderstanding. Many blue collar people are quite well off, intellectual and great family people. Maybe I should have used the words white trash, or lifetime poor, or working poor.
My wife is a highly educated super smart professional who works as a researcher at a Academic Think Tank. I work as an Instructor at a college. We both are super curious, intellectual, and committed to learning, creativity and our careers.
I came from a highly educated intellectual family who lived a very white collar lifestyle. On the other hand my wife grew up in a super blue collar working class factory town (Oil City PA). No one else in her large Catholic Family continued their education since High School and all of them work at a factory or fast food jobs. (All making under $9 an hour in their 30s.) Her Mom and Dad are as working class as can be.
While there is nothing wrong with being low skilled working class, I have been doing a lot of thinking about the impact of living in this type of environment had on my wife and even with her current high level job and education she is still deep down a blue collar working class person in her attitudes and personality.
I just can't get over her family. Their diction, choice of words, interests, lack of knowledge about basic things and finally the fact that they don't read anything or follow current events.
Has anyone else's marriage been turned upside down because of the blue collar white collar differences in lifestyle and personality?
A socially inept snob (in their eyes)
You do sound like a socially inept snob. Sorry.
I was raised in an extremely blue collar family, but they were all intelligent, well-rounded, thoughtful, socially aware, well-read individuals. Blue collar does not equal dumb and ignorant. In my family's case, they were born into an era that made it difficult for poor people to get ahead. Eventually, through hard work, almost everyone did evolve into white collar professionals. That's the American dream in a nutshell. Your wife's family may not be especially motivated or cable of achieving professional success. So what!? Is money everything? Isn't being kind and hard-working more important?
Can you find a hobby in common? Fishing, shooting, golf, cooking? Anything to unite common interests would be helpful.
I'm very glad I was raised by a group of people who had white collar jobs with blue collar ideals (from my grandparents), because I can relate to both groups now. I have blue collar friends and white collar friends and am extremely well-rounded. Your wife sounds more like me. Kudos to her
Using the word blue collar might have caused a misunderstanding. Many blue collar people are quite well off, intellectual and great family people. Maybe I should have used the words white trash, or lifetime poor, or working poor.
Working poor sounds more descriptive in this situation. They are not white trash IMO because they are working. That's just hurtful. No wonder they don't like you.
I know many working poor people who I admire greatly because it would be a lot easier and probably more lucrative to quit and go onto government assistance. They don't want to do that, because they have pride and a strong work ethic. That's so admirable to me. Can't you look for the positive? They did something right to raise your wife.
LOL He just started another thread on Non-relationship forum because he felt we "bashed" him.
He now considers himself as Mitt Romney! LOL
His own words,
"In my other posting I was attacked for telling everyone I was struggling with my in-laws and my wife's family who are self described "white trash" (Their words). Take the stereotype of the poor small town white person who has lived in extreme poverty all their life and all the resulting behaviors and attitudes and you have these people. My family grew up with a silver spoon and have had nothing but success economically. This has caused a certain set of behaviors on our part along with a certain set of appearances and cultural sensitiviites.
Think of me as a Mitt Rommney Clone meeting these people"
LOL He just started another thread on Non-relationship forum because he felt we "bashed" him.
He now considers himself as Mitt Romney! LOL
His own words,
"In my other posting I was attacked for telling everyone I was struggling with my in-laws and my wife's family who are self described "white trash" (Their words). Take the stereotype of the poor small town white person who has lived in extreme poverty all their life and all the resulting behaviors and attitudes and you have these people. My family grew up with a silver spoon and have had nothing but success economically. This has caused a certain set of behaviors on our part along with a certain set of appearances and cultural sensitiviites.
Think of me as a Mitt Rommney Clone meeting these people"
What I find absolutely hysterical about his threads is that he exhibits the same degree of narrow-mindedness and ignorance as his in-laws - it's just wrapped up in the trappings of privilege and is far less excusable.
What I find absolutely hysterical about his threads is that he exhibits the same degree of narrow-mindedness and ignorance as his in-laws - it's just wrapped up in the trappings of privilege and is far less excusable.
Be thankful for your GOOD LUCK Mr. OP and understand that not everybody grew up with a "silver spoon."
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