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What's the average & median income for a college professor and a think tank researcher? Unless your combined household income places you well into the top tax bracket, you're as middle class as those you snub your nose at; you may or may not be upper middle class, but still middle class nonetheless.
What's the average income, or median income for a college professor and a think tank researcher? Unless your combined household income puts you in the top tax bracket, then you're as middle class as those you snub your nose at; you may or may not be upper middle class, but still middle class nonetheless.
They are not all working. Yes, they do work on and off but all of them have moved back and forth between minimum wage jobs, getting fired, collecting unemployment benefits for as long as possible, food stamps, Section 8, etc.
They are not trained intelligent trade people but just poor white trash. My wife agrees but insists we see them on occasion because they are family.
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Originally Posted by southshorelady
Working poor sounds more descriptive in this situation. They are not white trash IMO because they are working. That's just hurtful. No wonder they don't like you.
I know many working poor people who I admire greatly because it would be a lot easier and probably more lucrative to quit and go onto government assistance. They don't want to do that, because they have pride and a strong work ethic. That's so admirable to me. Can't you look for the positive? They did something right to raise your wife.
They are not all working. Yes, they do work on and off but all of them have moved back and forth between minimum wage jobs, getting fired, collecting unemployment benefits for as long as possible, food stamps, Section 8, etc.
They are not trained intelligent trade people but just poor white trash. My wife agrees but insists we see them on occasion because they are family.
I believe negative people judge and verbally attack others due to what is missing in their own lives and heart. It's just an attempt to make them feel superior; lame isn't it?
People who look down on other people don't end up being looked up to.
Robert Half quotes
Superiority complex based off a lack of self-esteem
I have no right to complain about these terrible people because I am not perfect myself. Is that what you are saying?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
I believe negative people judge and verbally attack others due to what is missing in their own lives and heart. It's just an attempt to make them feel superior; lame isn't it?
People who look down on other people don't end up being looked up to.
Robert Half quotes
Superiority complex based off a lack of self-esteem
i have the opposite experience coming from a blue collar household and now generally socializing (and dating) in highly educated circles
i sometimes find myself involved with women who just seem oblivious sometimes to realistic concerns like employability, savings, spending appropriately to what one earns, having long term realistic goals, etc. i assume it's because they've never really had to worry about such things for themselves, are living in an apartment their parents bought them, didn't have to work in their teens/early 20s, etc.
(i'm sure there are men like that too, just not on my dating radar )
that said, it's the kind of problem you want to have. i'll never go back to blue collar. fu*k that
Rich or poor, educated or non-educated, blue collar or white collar we all end up as worm food in the end. Now THERE'S a sobering thought! BUT, in the meantime, we'll keep walking around like we are the s*** and accept nothing less than "perfection."
This is a long thread already, so maybe it's been said, but I think there is a dynamic formed off of each side feeling criticized by the other, likely projecting their own insecurities as a critical attitude in the other.
Their reaction to you sounds like a chip on their shoulder, an inferiority complex which leads them to dismiss any of your accomplishments or interests as unnecessary, snobbery, etc. This is because deep down they may feel a sense of inferiority over not being cultured or highly educated, but consciously they experience it as unfair judgment from others & the attack that assumed judgment in others as snobbery.
Even if you have not said anything directly, they assumed (correctly) that you judge them negatively for their blue collar ways & that's likely why they openly reject your white collar ways. It's like they're doing a "reverse snobbery" as a defense mechanism.
Their attitude then causes you to reject their choices and lifestyle as "inferior" as a defense against being pegged as perhaps frivolous, snobby or overly cerebral. This continues the cycle, as it confirms the suspicions and insecurities of each side.
Have you tried perhaps addressing these insecurities in a kind manner, offering some kind of olive branch? Perhaps if you began to show admiration for SOMETHING about them that shows you don't think they are beneath you, then that may calm their defensive rejection of your lifestyle & preferences. In order to do so, you may have to adjust your attitude a bit, perhaps develop some empathy towards their choices which is not condescending. You may have to think very hard about what is good about them that you can admire & then express that admiration. If you have traveled a lot, then you're probably used to having to shift perspectives to grasp & appreciate very different cultures; that's essentially what you're up against here.
This ultimately makes you the "bigger person" too, as opposed to stubbornly becoming more & more defensive & rigid in your stance. If you soften & open up a bit, perhaps they will in time towards you.
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