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Old 05-14-2013, 06:51 PM
 
212 posts, read 821,585 times
Reputation: 93

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I met this guy a few weeks ago at a bar and we exchanged numbers. We texted a few times back and forth and went out on a casual date saturday night, and it's now Tuesday and I haven't heard anything from the guy. The date went OK. We talked over a few drinks and parted ways (it was 2am and the date got a late start). Honestly I wasn't even thinking it was a date at first, but it definitely felt like one once the night started. He also paid for the whole thing. I do like him more now after this date than before, however I haven't heard anything from him and it's been 3 days. So it looks like to me he lost interest. Curious to see how long your significant others got in contact or for the guys, how long it took you to text or call after the first date. I'm interested in getting to know more about him now, and seeing some potential after the other night.
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,109 posts, read 28,951,793 times
Reputation: 16335
Why don't you call him?

I rarely get any call/texts after a first date, so it's always a shock when it happens. With the guy I'm currently seeing he contacted about 8 days afterwards. I had thrown him into the 'he's not interested pile' so that surprised me.
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Old 05-14-2013, 07:17 PM
 
212 posts, read 821,585 times
Reputation: 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Why don't you call him?

I rarely get any call/texts after a first date, so it's always a shock when it happens. With the guy I'm currently seeing he contacted about 8 days afterwards. I had thrown him into the 'he's not interested pile' so that surprised me.
Yeah I've had first dates before where there was no follow up but I felt nothing (no connection, didn't spark any interest, etc.) and I'm sure the feeling was mutual so it's not even a thought. But this one sparked some interest...so if the feeling was mutual..., but maybe it wasn't.
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Old 05-14-2013, 07:17 PM
 
4,176 posts, read 5,935,980 times
Reputation: 1862
Quote:
Originally Posted by linkbr View Post
I met this guy a few weeks ago at a bar and we exchanged numbers. We texted a few times back and forth and went out on a casual date saturday night, and it's now Tuesday and I haven't heard anything from the guy. The date went OK. We talked over a few drinks and parted ways (it was 2am and the date got a late start). Honestly I wasn't even thinking it was a date at first, but it definitely felt like one once the night started. He also paid for the whole thing. I do like him more now after this date than before, however I haven't heard anything from him and it's been 3 days. So it looks like to me he lost interest. Curious to see how long your significant others got in contact or for the guys, how long it took you to text or call after the first date. I'm interested in getting to know more about him now, and seeing some potential after the other night.
While I don't like the 'if (s)he's interested, (s)he'll let you know/call/text' philosophy, it's usually accurate. I don't necessarily follow that method myself, but have found it to be correct in most (but not all) cases.

You should contact this guy and assess things based on his reaction. If you send him a casual text (either generic 'how was your day' or something specific to your date/talk with him), you can get a sense of his interest based on his response (or lack thereof). You can call or text but texting might be easier since it puts less pressure on him and he has already gone a few days without contacting you.

It seems like you're in the situation where it doesn't look good, but you don't know for certain. IMO, it's better to reach out to him and get shot down than sit and wait. Just send one text or call him once (+ VM if he doesn't answer) and then let him get back to you.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:15 PM
 
6,737 posts, read 9,325,272 times
Reputation: 6817
Some guys believe that they have to wait 3 days or they seem overeager. (Is this a PUA thing)?

Me, if I don't hear from them within 24 hours I figure they are not THAT interested.

Yes, text him. Maybe he dropped his phone in the river like a woman friend of mine once did.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,467 posts, read 3,956,377 times
Reputation: 3424
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Some guys believe that they have to wait 3 days or they seem overeager. (Is this a PUA thing)?

Me, if I don't hear from them within 24 hours I figure they are not THAT interested.

Yes, text him. Maybe he dropped his phone in the river like a woman friend of mine once did.
I used to think this way. I didn't want to seem too needy or attached. Now, very much removed from the dating scene, I think this is silly.

If I was single, I would hope to receive some kind of communication a day or two after a good date. I don't really want to play games.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:21 PM
 
33,993 posts, read 39,986,990 times
Reputation: 48681
Quote:
Originally Posted by linkbr View Post
I met this guy a few weeks ago at a bar and we exchanged numbers. We texted a few times back and forth and went out on a casual date saturday night, and it's now Tuesday and I haven't heard anything from the guy. The date went OK. We talked over a few drinks and parted ways (it was 2am and the date got a late start). Honestly I wasn't even thinking it was a date at first, but it definitely felt like one once the night started. He also paid for the whole thing. I do like him more now after this date than before, however I haven't heard anything from him and it's been 3 days. So it looks like to me he lost interest. Curious to see how long your significant others got in contact or for the guys, how long it took you to text or call after the first date. I'm interested in getting to know more about him now, and seeing some potential after the other night.
For each time that I actually saw the guy again, I was contacted the very next day.

After 3 days, I'd be moving along, for sure.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,795 posts, read 4,272,953 times
Reputation: 3341
The phone works both ways. It sounds like he hasn't contacted you, but you haven't contacted him, either. Reach out if you're interested. If not, move on.
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Old 05-15-2013, 03:01 AM
 
Location: Turkey
25 posts, read 87,636 times
Reputation: 22
After one hour. He was fast
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Old 05-15-2013, 05:39 AM
 
12,587 posts, read 15,552,588 times
Reputation: 15198
Quote:
Originally Posted by linkbr View Post
I met this guy a few weeks ago at a bar and we exchanged numbers. We texted a few times back and forth and went out on a casual date saturday night, and it's now Tuesday and I haven't heard anything from the guy. The date went OK. We talked over a few drinks and parted ways (it was 2am and the date got a late start). Honestly I wasn't even thinking it was a date at first, but it definitely felt like one once the night started. He also paid for the whole thing. I do like him more now after this date than before, however I haven't heard anything from him and it's been 3 days. So it looks like to me he lost interest. Curious to see how long your significant others got in contact or for the guys, how long it took you to text or call after the first date. I'm interested in getting to know more about him now, and seeing some potential after the other night.
Text him.

There is no set rule.

Just text him.

"Just thinking about you and the fun time I had last week."
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