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I definitely wouldn't want a wife that wasn't sexually interested in me. End this engagement. You will be doing you and him both a favor. He will hurt of course but when he gets his bearings straight and if he's smart he will realize what you did.
You're only 23 years old. You have a lot of experiences to have, no need to rush into a marriage you're not sure about.
It seems you already know what you should do. I'm going to play diablo advocado. I think you can create passion in a relationship where there may not be any or where it once existed. You say you're not sexually interested in your boyfriend. Why is this the case? Is he ugly? Dull? Perhaps he is sexually inexperienced and perhaps there might be a lack of communication between the two of you about matters of sexuality (what you need and what he needs). I'm wondering if you both need to just sit down and explore with one another. This can be exciting and you can see your boyfriend from another perspective. Please don't get me wrong. The physical aspects of a relationship, particular to those with high libidos, is extremely important. But, unless your boyfriend is physically unattractive to you, then I would posit that you can increase your feelings of passion. Good luck with whatever decision you make. In the end, I don't think there are any guarantees in matters of the heart.
I broke off an engagement once. I loved her in many ways, and that's one reason I broke it off. I just didn't love her enough to marry her. Wonderful gal. She deserved someone who loved her completely, and I knew that would never be me. I wanted to, but I couldn't.
Case #2: My first wife told me after 6 years of marriage that she no longer loved me. We already had a 1-year-old at that point. She didn't want a divorce, just didn't love me. I spent the next 20 years trying to earn back her love. Never happened. I finally cut her free after 27 years of marriage so we could find love. That was not a happy 20 years. It wasn't HORRIBLE. We liked each other and got along okay. But neither were we happy.
You both deserve to love and be loved. I'm sorry, but you need to let him go.
This. ^^^^
I'll add that you're young, and there is nothing wrong with you wanting to be on your own. It won't be easy should you decide to break things off, but I promise that when you both look back on it in a year or two, you'll both see it was the right thing to do.
I would say call it off. But i'll say a prayer for you and your boyfriend. That GOD gives you the strength to do the right thing. And that when you do. That your boyfriend won't become irrational,and become suicidal and all that mess.
Just throwing this out there, but have you ever tried to actually relight the flame with him?
I'm also a bit confused. You said you had chemistry at one point and in the same breath said you never were attracted to him.
End it. It's cruel if you guys can't work this out.
For future reference, if you do decide to end it, realize that every relationship (no matter how hot the guy) needs work to maintain the spark. I've dated some gorgeous men who bored me after a few months because the relationship went to crap, and I no longer found them "attractive" even though they were, if that makes sense. A relationship needs to be kept exciting, so you can keep that spark alive years down the road. Everything gets "old", and needs refreshing.
I think you're too far under now though. I really can't speak for you because I do think it's important to discover yourself. If you really are feeling this scared, and have been for a long time, do it. Every couple has lulls (weeks, months) where they lose touch but I don't think it's get as extreme as it's gotten with you guys, at least not healthy relationships. Good luck.
Just throwing this out there, but have you ever tried to actually relight the flame with him?
I'm also a bit confused. You said you had chemistry at one point and in the same breath said you never were attracted to him.
End it. It's cruel if you guys can't work this out.
For future reference, if you do decide to end it, realize that every relationship (no matter how hot the guy) needs work to maintain the spark. I've dated some gorgeous men who bored me after a few months because the relationship went to crap, and I no longer found them "attractive" even though they were, if that makes sense. A relationship needs to be kept exciting, so you can keep that spark alive years down the road. Everything gets "old", and needs refreshing.
I think you're too far under now though. I really can't speak for you because I do think it's important to discover yourself. If you really are feeling this scared, and have been for a long time, do it. Every couple has lulls (weeks, months) where they lose touch but I don't think it's get as extreme as it's gotten with you guys, at least not healthy relationships. Good luck.
But to be fair, she was SIXTEEN when they started dating
It is just not realistic that a teenage kid is going to completely comprehend the work of adult relationships. And the "chemistry" often fades when the hormones change or even out.
But to be fair, she was SIXTEEN when they started dating
It is just not realistic that a teenage kid is going to completely comprehend the work of adult relationships. And the "chemistry" often fades when the hormones change or even out.
I agree, which is why I said "for future reference". Regardless of age, the line about finding him attractive but then saying she never did was still confusing to me.
Hi everyone, I need some advice. I'm 23 and have been with my high school sweetheart for 7 years. He's a great guy. He's supportive, loyal, kind, hardworking, and honest. He would do anything for me and I love him a lot. Generally speaking, I think we have been happy together. However, after I graduated from college and got a full time job, I feel like we've drifted apart. I never questioned having only one boyfriend before, but all the sudden I find myself wishing I was single and on my own. There's no "other man" but I still feel this desire to be free and on my own for the first time. My boyfriend and I once had chemistry but he is not my type in terms of looks and never really has been. This was never an issue before but I have no sexual interest in him now and haven't for years. Before we were sexually very active because it made him happy but it's become harder for me to make the effort lately, as terrible as that sounds its the truth. We are engaged to be married and I'm terrified I'm making a mistake that result in lifelong unhappiness for both of us. I told him I wanted to break up several months ago, and he took it hUorribly. I basically caved because I know that I do love him and he was in pain. Also, to complicate matters, we own a house together.
Is this a case of the seven year itch? Should I weather the storm and consider myself lucky to have a great guy that loves me? Is it worth it to end a 7 year relationship because the sex isn't good and and I'm scared to commit for life to the only guy I've ever dated? Any advice would be really appreciated.
omg RUN AWAY!!!! The answer is in your own post: he is not your type, you wanna be single, you have no sexual interest in him.....do u really need an answer from us?? You clearly know it already
Dont make the worse mistake of your life and levae him!
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I spent the next 20 years trying to earn back her love. Never happened. I finally cut her free after 27 years of marriage so we could find love. That was not a happy 20 years. It wasn't HORRIBLE. We liked each other and got along okay. But neither were we happy.
