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Old 05-14-2013, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Hopewell Va.
249 posts, read 311,966 times
Reputation: 151

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I'm currently single. And have been for the most part of my life. But at times I really start to feel down because I feel like i'm missing out on something great. Yet at other times, I see almost on a regular basis people ending the relationships that they're in,and all the heart ache that goes along with it. And it's when I see this. I think to myself. "Maybe I am better off being single after-all."
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Old 05-14-2013, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,472 posts, read 4,207,430 times
Reputation: 3432
Even if my girlfriend told me we were through tomorrow, I still wouldn't take back the times I spent with her. Those were a lot better than being single or with someone else. I've seen plenty of heartbreak and experienced it myself. I would feel like I lost out if those instances kept me from being with the woman I love.
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Old 05-14-2013, 08:53 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,134 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Different strokes for different folks. For some, single is better. For others--a steady relationship.
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Old 05-14-2013, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Sector 001
15,936 posts, read 12,238,409 times
Reputation: 16104
I'm not jaded yet and still see the ideals of true love a family with the right person.. I hope I do not remain single forever but i see the advantages with extra freedom. I wouldn't want to be stuck with the wrong person, to put it that way... someone who's messy, late, goes to clubs/bars, hates the outdoors, doesn't want kids, that sort of thing.

I don't have any desire to be 'just friends' .. to 'go out' and have a nightlife really.. so I should be long married with kids, but my shyness and issues with breaking the ice have kept it from becoming a reality.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,886 posts, read 10,503,018 times
Reputation: 4494
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiscombobulateYa View Post
I'm currently single. And have been for the most part of my life. But at times I really start to feel down because I feel like i'm missing out on something great. Yet at other times, I see almost on a regular basis people ending the relationships that they're in,and all the heart ache that goes along with it. And it's when I see this. I think to myself. "Maybe I am better off being single after-all."
Im probably not the best person for answering this, cause i just come out of a long term relationship (7 years) and when i started that relationship, i just came from a 5 year relationship (only 1 month between both relationships). So, basically i spent the last 12 years of my life (18 to 30) being in a relationship. So i might be too familiar with the downsides of being in a relationship, and too unfamiliar with loneliness.

BUT

A couple of days ago, i had an awakening. I realize the inmense quantity of freedom that comes from being single, and now, I CAN DECIDE. What if i dont wanna have kinds EVER? what if i wanna travel with a friend to brazil world cup 2014?? what if i wanna became a hippie? what if what if what if......A WORLD SO FULL OF WHAT IFS AND OPORTUNITIES THAT I ALMOST FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT FOR BEING SO BLIND before. When i was in love. I dont regret having been so in love, but i almost think that was A ONE TIME THING. Now life is all about freedom
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:11 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,977,037 times
Reputation: 6848
I like to alternate. My relationships tend to be very long (10 years), but when one ends I like to not-date for a few years, sometimes a lot of years. Both have plusses and minuses.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:15 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,495,521 times
Reputation: 40198
It's not about one being "better" than the other my friend!

Each is just different with its own set of problems, joys and perks

Concentrate on enjoying your life in ALL its phases and stages okay?
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:18 PM
 
1,636 posts, read 3,159,438 times
Reputation: 2747
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiscombobulateYa View Post
I'm currently single. And have been for the most part of my life. But at times I really start to feel down because I feel like i'm missing out on something great. Yet at other times, I see almost on a regular basis people ending the relationships that they're in,and all the heart ache that goes along with it. And it's when I see this. I think to myself. "Maybe I am better off being single after-all."
I think in this life, it's important to find your true happiness alone AND with a partner. When I was single, I finally got myself to a healthy mental state to where I was truly happy with what happened or didn't happen in terms of love. I found hobbies and took care of myself. I paid attention to my friends and reconnected with my family. It was the most refreshing thing ever, finding myself. As cliche as that sounds.

Then my boyfriend came along. It sounds weird, but he makes me feel like I'm single plus one. He doesn't suck the life out of me or hold me back. He doesn't breathe down my neck or give me rules. We somehow mesh together. It's like having a best friend that I find attractive and that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not sure if all relationships are like this, but that's the way to do it. He lets me be me. And it's worked for us for a few years now, so I think the "honeymoon" phase is over. I also can't imagine me without him, but it's not a bad feeling. I never fear him leaving me.

With that being said, people fall in love, people break up, people die. My father lost his second wife (his true love, my god was he head over heels) to cancer pretty suddenly last year. He is only in his 50's with plenty of time left (my stepmom was younger) and I was genuinely worried how he would cope given the suddenness of it all. My father, being the strong man that he is, picked himself up and finally took some time off from work to reorganize the house, clean up, and get himself together. He is now working his "dream job". While he misses her every day, he is genuinely happy and is continuing to develop himself. I am so in awe of him, I hope I could have the same strength.

A bit of a rant, but I think both are optimal. It's just up to you how you choose to see it. I personally love having my boyfriend because he enhances my life. If I was single, I would still be elated to wake up every day, but life in general would just be a little bit more difficult. I think having a life partner is extremely valuable and a wonderful benefit, whether it's romantic or not. I do enjoy this love though.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:22 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,964,469 times
Reputation: 13949
Do whatever works for you. If you want a relationship, go get it, because women aren't going to come to you.

For some of us, single life is the only choice.
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Hopewell Va.
249 posts, read 311,966 times
Reputation: 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL View Post
Im probably not the best person for answering this, cause i just come out of a long term relationship (7 years) and when i started that relationship, i just came from a 5 year relationship (only 1 month between both relationships). So, basically i spent the last 12 years of my life (18 to 30) being in a relationship. So i might be too familiar with the downsides of being in a relationship, and too unfamiliar with loneliness.

BUT

A couple of days ago, i had an awakening. I realize the inmense quantity of freedom that comes from being single, and now, I CAN DECIDE. What if i dont wanna have kinds EVER? what if i wanna travel with a friend to brazil world cup 2014?? what if i wanna became a hippie? what if what if what if......A WORLD SO FULL OF WHAT IFS AND OPORTUNITIES THAT I ALMOST FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT FOR BEING SO BLIND before. When i was in love. I dont regret having been so in love, but i almost think that was A ONE TIME THING. Now life is all about freedom
Amen...sister{I guess}congratulations on the new found freedom. Enjoy yourself!
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