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Found this article online and wanted to put this up for discussion. I believe that this type of self centered and selfish attitude, is one of the reasons for failure rates of marriages today. Its a fairly long article but I find it fascinating. Discuss....
"You’d never buy a car without test-driving it first, right? So why settle into a lifelong marriage before trying one on for size? "I’m just really not ready to be committed like this.” That’s what Andi said to Tucker, her husband of 11 months, after she came home from a crazy day at work two years ago with an overwhelming urge to quit her marriage. Today. Right now. “This just isn’t for me.”"
Liberal at my best but im a conservative in my own life and I would never want to do this. Nope nope nope. It's manipulative, it plays marriage like a furiken business, and the man I marry, even if I don't love him in the end, deserves respect at least. She's extreme, particularly this andi woman.
Imo, our lives need balance. I think we went from one place where we put up with too much in a marriage, to going to the next extreme where we've lost our willingness to put in the work. Sad. I'm waiting for society to find balance.
Liberal at my best but im a conservative in my own life and I would never want to do this. Nope nope nope. It's manipulative, it plays marriage like a furiken business, and the man I marry, even if I don't love him in the end, deserves respect at least. She's extreme, particularly this andi woman.
Imo, our lives need balance. I think we went from one place where we put up with too much in a marriage, to going to the next extreme where we've lost our willingness to put in the work. Sad. I'm waiting for society to find balance.
I agree and there sure are excpetions out there, but they are rare and sometimes hard to find. Not to mention, they only support the rule. And this isnt gender specific either, since both genders are guilty of looking at marriage as a temporary business project or something of sorts. Its just a little deflating for many of those who hope to find a lifelong partner, or at the very least, marry someone who wants a long term commitment, to realize the realities of todays world.
She screwed up when she married in him in the first place. She married him for the wrong reasons. I can't say I would have done it any differently. You can't create a desire for marriage when it's just not there. Best to walk now instead of later when there are kids involved.
I agree and there sure are excpetions out there, but they are rare and sometimes hard to find. Not to mention, they only support the rule. And this isnt gender specific either, since both genders are guilty of looking at marriage as a temporary business project or something of sorts. Its just a little deflating for many of those who hope to find a lifelong partner, or at the very least, marry someone who wants a long term commitment, to realize the realities of todays world.
Yeah it really can be. I don't know the specific origins of this loose mentality towards marriage though theres a lot of speculation as to its origins and this lady is certainly extreme but I wonder where this idea of marriage being just a piece of paper came from. I know I use to think this way myself in my teen years but as I got older and learned love and commitment that changed. I use to say its a piece of paper because I picked up that mentality somewhere along the way and absorbed it into my consciousness believing it was my own opinion.
What was really interesting to me though was when Andi talked about how she married her "starter husband" that he seemed like this was the guy she was "suppose" to marry because it was expected of her. I think this is the case for a lot of people today. They tend to marry people that they feel will earn them societal approval on some level but not everyone falls perfectly into the roles put on them by society. Not to mention society tends to give off really mixed messages that listening to it and following it can be very confusing imo.
I'm glad she figured herself out in the end. Lol I feel that since many of us are taking longer to grow up, that maybe we really do need to take longer to get married. We seem to be getting to know ourselves outside of popular opinion at a much slower rate. Lol
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Am I still crazy for refusing to be bothered with marriage?
I have no interest in being a "starter" husband.
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