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I can't disagree. It does seem like a good portion of black people that I know tend to avoid dark skinned women.
As a black man, I hate saying this, but there is a lot of self loathing among us (from experience). We hate ourselves.
(I only speak from my experience. I know there are different experiences from different factors.)
Well, that really sucks..... maybe in a couple more generations black folks will make more headways, I hope so.... I think enslavement takes on many layers and as each layer gets peeled back things get better.
Nyanna, RedRage, or any other screenname she uses is sort of an extreme example of what you're talking about...
Most black people I've known seem to be fine and are productive members of society, all people are basically trying to make a living, provide for their families, have a good life... these are traits that we all share.
I do feel it's sorta odd for her to target a white dude or a non-black just so that her kids would be lighter....
The bold is really your main problem. Guys want a happy-go-lucky sort of chick that laughs, smiles, and has fun. They don't want some prude ice queen that is angry all the time, at least not for a relationship.
On the other hand, the italics is not your concern. So what she has her pick of the litter due to conditions out of her control? I am not a quarterback in the NFL, a movie star, or a pop-singer, but I don't complain that I don't have a harem of women chasing me because of that.
I agree, and fully admit that when I become depresssed, I'm no fun to be around, but it's a catch 22 because every one (especially women) want to be perceived as beautiful. If I feel like people treat my light friends better, this will impact my personality. It is sometimes hard to smile when I go out with them and see how many guys are attracted to them. I have since decided to stop going to mostly black establishments, because I experience the cold shoulder more often than not in these places.
I now prefer a more mixed environment, where there is more of a variety. My black girlfriends seem to prefer the black establishments and not really the mixed bars or clubs, so I rarely go out with them anymore. I kind of feel like I'm just setting myself up for failure and although they can't help that people prefer their look, sometimes I do dream about what it would be like to have people gush over me and prefer my look to theirs, if only for one night.
I understand that everyone has dating woes, but I doubt that a blonde thin highly attractive white woman has issues landing a nice family oriented guy, if that is what she wants. .
You would be surprised. Beautiful women have dating issues too. Sometimes when you are very pretty, guys hesitate from asking you out because they expect you already have someone, or they think you'd be a Beaeeatch to them if they asked you out, or something.
Also, being hit on is nothing. Guys can hit on you, but if they are not the type you want, it wouldn't mean a thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bambi234
In my instance, my self defeatess attitude does get in the way, because most would prefer the bubbly super attractive light woman over me, the non bubbly, semi-attractive (but regular) dark woman. The irony is, if I was dating someone who adored me, I would be the best girlfriend ever. I would love him tremendously and be very faithful. .
You would really do well to work on your self esteem. Life is a lot tougher when you are going through it with a self-deafeatist attitude. That is not appealing to anyone. One of the biggest things you can do now is to google pictures of dark skinned celebs who found husbands/significant others. That will at least get you to stop seeing your skin color as a negative (Did you know Whoopi Goldberg has been married at least thrice!!! and she's not a stereotypical black beauty).
The next thing you could do is sign up for online dating, if you are not already doing that now. It will atleast expose you to different types of guys who appreciate your type of beauty (including black guys).
Now I can't guarantee that you'd find the one there, but at least it can help you expand your current view of your options.
Ever tried online dating?
If you live in a large city, I bet you could find someone.
I am thinking about online dating, although my friends constantly warn me about the weirdos online. I have to admit that I do get a little scared because you never really know who you are connecting with. I much prefer to interact face to face so that the person sees me and I see them. I think the possibility for lying or trying to put on a facade is much harder, when you are not dealing in a virtual environment.
I could create a very nice profile and use my best pictures, but my online persona will definitely be different from my real life persona. But who knows, maybe I am wrong and I should give it a shot. It's not like I'm having great luck outside of cyberspace.
I do not really care about the guy's skin color, I am just hoping that I find someone who is really a good hardworking person, and loves me for me and doesn't care about my dark skin pigment. I know it sounds strange, but as I have said, I think maybe I should target pale white men, because my hope is, due to their paleness my dark color won't be such a turn off? But I could be wrong. It's just that every time I see a dark black woman married, it's usually to pale white guy.
Just target whoever seems receptive and otherwise acceptable by your standards. He doesn't need to be super duper white. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bambi234
I could create a very nice profile and use my best pictures, but my online persona will definitely be different from my real life persona. But who knows, maybe I am wrong and I should give it a shot. It's not like I'm having great luck outside of cyberspace.
Where I live (the deep south) I see MANY dark skin (near pitch black) women with CHILDREN. Not to mention they are overweight and unattractive. If someone finds them to be attractive, there is no doubt there are men who will find you attractive.
One caveat, said women with babies are rarely seen with the father. I think I only saw two mother and father couples with their children in the few months I lived here.
This is common where I live, many darkskinned black women are seen as concubines in the black community. They are used to keep the black race thriving while the men go off and properly date/marry lighter complected women.
This is common where I live, many darkskinned black women are seen as concubines in the black community. They are used to keep the black race thriving while the men go off and properly date/marry lighter complected women.
My own kind is the human race, and I think my children would turn out just fine. I would teach them to be proud of their cultures. I don't think it would be a problem at all, because lighter skinned girls are favored and so it would actually be a good thing if I had a daughter.
IF your statement were absolutely true then you would NOT be asking about WHITE BOYS and fussing about how dark your skin is.........you would be asking about BOYS. So your own kind is NOT the human race just the white part of it.
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