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There is something to it, but you can't overdo it. What's attractive about this is that it's being authentic. I'm sure you all have been on dates where the other person is clearly just being nice and everything just seems so fake and formal.
I went on a date this past weekend where my date was disagreeing with me and teasing me sometimes and I have to say it increased my attraction and I did the same with her, and we're going on a 2nd date.
Sorry, but as a guy, I am definitely not a "mean girl" fan....OTOH, truly nice, sweet, and affectionate girls are the very best ones for potential relationships to begin with
Please consider going back to the nicer version of yourself; you just may not have happened to meet the right guy when you were a nice girl, but it doesn't mean he's not out there!
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 05-20-2013 at 12:35 PM..
Reason: Fixed typos
There is something to it, but you can't overdo it. What's attractive about this is that it's being authentic. I'm sure you all have been on dates where the other person is clearly just being nice and everything just seems so fake and formal.
I went on a date this past weekend where my date was disagreeing with me and teasing me sometimes and I have to say it increased my attraction and I did the same with her, and we're going on a 2nd date.
Yeah. I think before I certainly got too caught up in being polite and formal and had a hard time transitioning into my real self. Now I am more assertive from the start. If I like a guy I don't feign disinterest, if I don't like a suggestion he made I say so. I make fun of and tease him and am my usual playful flirty self. It feels a lot more better than being my former stiff formal, polite self with a smile plastered on my face haha.
so i started to start experimenting a little and started to become more "bitchy". i am mean to guys, make fun of them, call them out on their b.s, put myself and my interests, don't care for how they are and BHAM. they are eating from the palms of my hands. i'm downright mean to a guy and he laughs and says "you're fun and feisty"
lol.
so men DO like *******.
Are you sure you're really being bitchy? Because sometimes what women (who are often raised to be non-confrontational, caregiving, peace-keepers) consider bitchy is really just having some self-assurance and spine.
For one thing, there's nothing wrong with calling someone out on his b.s. Until my dying breath, I will maintain that many men like to test boundaries. Some do it because they're juvenile and want to see how much they can get away with. But a lot of them do it to see if you'll set any boundaries in the first place, because setting boundaries means having a spine and a spine is a good thing to have.
Putting yourself and your interests first is something I highly recommend single women do. The time for give-and-take and compromise is when you're in a committed relationship. If you're just casually dating, there is no reason to rearrange your schedule. Men certainly don't, unless or until they meet someone they are really interested in and want to form a relationship with. And they certainly don't go giving up their interests because a woman comes along, even when they're in a relationship. Or, at least they shouldn't. Man or woman, your interests are part of who you are. Ideally, you find someone who shares a few of them.
As for making fun of men, it really depends on what you say and how you say it. If you're sitting there criticizing a blemish on his skin, trying to embarrass him by saying, "EWWWW, what is that seaweed in your mouth" if he has some broccoli stuck in his teeth, or just being childish and rude, yes, that's bitchy. But if you're just breaking some chops--he spills a drink and you say "can't take you anywhere" with smile and a wink--that's not really being mean, and a secure man will joke about it himself. "Yeah, you should see all the ties I've ruined."
Hm interesting. So guys like feisty girls only for casual purposes?
Oh wow. I sure hope not!
You're going to find out at some point that the decent men don't want ******* as a SO.
They want a combination, a woman who is generally kind and caring, but not afraid to call someone out when the time is right.
Just as women want a man who has all the traits of masculinity, but also has a soft side.
It's up to you to find that combination in yourself, as well as have confidence, and then find someone who likes that same combination in a woman, as well as likes other traits you have.
[quote=Lilac110;29649891]Are you sure you're really being bitchy? Because sometimes what women (who are often raised to be non-confrontational, caregiving, peace-keepers) consider bitchy is really just having some self-assurance and spine. [quote]
Well yeah, my guy friends have said that I am not exactly being "bitchy" in the sense that I don't have a sour attitude where I'm bringing everyone down or fighting with people. I mean more along the lines of being more assertive and confident. I was raised to be almost excessively demure and polite. I was always agreeable and didn't cause a scene or make anyone uncomfortable and put the guy first.
Quote:
For one thing, there's nothing wrong with calling someone out on his b.s. Until my dying breath, I will maintain that many men like to test boundaries. Some do it because they're juvenile and want to see how much they can get away with. But a lot of them do it to see if you'll set any boundaries in the first place, because setting boundaries means having a spine and a spine is a good thing to have.
Hm regarding "how much men can get away" with is something I'm kind of confused about. I don't expect that a guy owes me anything or any kind of behavior at least until we're "official". In the beginning couple of dates...he is a free man. He doesn't need to "check in" with me if its okay if he is going to go out with his buddies or something. So I usually am not phased nor do I expect that...so I guess my question is...at what point does a guy even owe anything to the girl he's dating?
Quote:
Putting yourself and your interests first is something I highly recommend single women do. The time for give-and-take and compromise is when you're in a committed relationship. If you're just casually dating, there is no reason to rearrange your schedule. Men certainly don't, unless or until they meet someone they are really interested in and want to form a relationship with. And they certainly don't go giving up their interests because a woman comes along, even when they're in a relationship. Or, at least they shouldn't. Man or woman, your interests are part of who you are. Ideally, you find someone who shares a few of them.
Yep. Im beginning to learn this.
Quote:
As for making fun of men, it really depends on what you say and how you say it. If you're sitting there criticizing a blemish on his skin, trying to embarrass him by saying, "EWWWW, what is that seaweed in your mouth" if he has some broccoli stuck in his teeth, or just being childish and rude, yes, that's bitchy. But if you're just breaking some chops--he spills a drink and you say "can't take you anywhere" with smile and a wink--that's not really being mean, and a secure man will joke about it himself. "Yeah, you should see all the ties I've ruined."
Mine is more playful teasing " you're such a dweeb!" and stuff.
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