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So if you want a man that is in shape, good looking, has money and that's not superficial, then it shouldn't be superficial for me to say I want a woman that is in shape, attractive, knows how to cook, and hasn't been with 15+ parteners
So I make 120k a year, drive a ford ranger with off road package and the bigger engine (which they dont make anymore) in good to great condition, own a plane but I rent an appartment for now and I am a 5 in looks, great at sex depending on what your into. I am 32, I keep listerine in my glove box when I was dating and even now if I am going to meet my girl friend somewhere after work. I am 5' 9" and have a little extra weight but also do weight lifting so its offset. When my ex wife left me and I started dating I got VERY little attention from women, after months I found a woman who paid attention to me and liked the same things as me in bed.
I am just curious where I would shake out. Also yes some guys if you give them what they want in bed they will stick around, some guys will leave anyways but some guys will never leave if they are satisfied in bed. There are far fewer guys that will stick around if your not having sex than if you are having sex so its a calculated risk.
I dated one woman who kept giving me side hugs (she had nice boobs) and I enquired about sex before our 4th date and she ended things, im not going to keep draging out dating if there isent eventually going to be sex involved and the side hugs were wierd, she obviously wasent that into me but wanted to go out for food and drinks with me. I am all about finding niche places to eat and drink and I think she liked that, but I like sex and im not dating to find a platonic buddy.
I think my looks really hurt me but im not getting plastic surgery over it lol. A 5 for a guy is like being a 3 as a woman.
Ok, it would depend on if I were attracted to you in person but a 5 doesn't sound good, to be honest. Everything else does and being a woman who does not have sex unless in a relationship, and I am a woman who while not the youngest had 2 very long relationships so I've had very few partners, I agree, you should be straight up and ask by the 4th date if she plans to have sex with you. You shouldn't waste your time either. I do not waste people's time. I will tell them I don't want to see them anymore straight up. It might not be what they want to hear, but I am not trying to use a man for dinner etc. if I'm not interested. Everything else sounds ok about you.
The last guy I was with, I thought he was maybe a 6 in looks and somehow I don't feel I'm much more than a 6 these days myself. He's doing great since the break up and I can't find anyone. I fully admit I thought I was better looking than him, but I was very attracted to him just the same (a short guy too! -for you men who worry about that) so I am starting to think I'm not as great as I thought I was but I think my self esteem is just really low right now.
I understand that. It just pisses me off when women like the OP is calling a man cheap for not taking her on a nice date. If she wants a nice date, why doesn't she earn the money herself and give her man a nice date. It's always hilarious to me when the women who call other men cheap are usually the ones who never spend any money on their man.
I am a very generous person when in relationship. I think I have spent more on all the men I've been serious with than they have on me . . .
What age group of men is she interested in? She stated she is well over 30, so a guess would be 36-38 range. Is she targeting men with all of those requirements in the 33 to 39 age range? Those are going to be high value men with lots of options. They are not targeting her, they are busy with the 24 to 30 year old female with youth and fertility.
OP stated she is divorced; no kids? What exactly does freelance mean? Freelance what? photography, writing, computer code? Did you buy the home on your own with your freelance income or did you win it in divorce? If freelance gives you enough income to buy a home why do you have a crappy car? Sounds like ex-hubby had a good job with benefits that allowed you to have a pretend job/hobby.
I imagine when you were in your twenties you had lots of attention from attractive, fit men willing to spend money to entertain you. Where are those men now, shouldn't they be fawning over you now that your single again? Me thinks not.
Good luck finding that Unicorn.
You should probably look on Craigslist in the free cat section and get a head start.
No need to insult me. Yes, I am looking in the 34-39 range, could go to 44 even - depends on the man.
The reason I know I could get a job with benefits etc. is because I was the one during my marriage who was the main breadwinner most of the time. He worked too and contributed most of the time.
I have always been an artistic creative person besides and am lucky enough to be able to do that now.
Maybe I am looking for a unicorn, but someone has to find one. I will try and if I have to compromise, then I have to compromise, nothing I can do about that except decide when to settle.
....But is it really important in the grand scheme of things?
....Or are such superficial things something she will regret?
This crossed my mind as well tonight. I have been doing a lot of thinking as some people tend to do when they are not content. Maybe if I'd not been so superficial (though attraction was mostly what I cared about previously, I liked it if I saw a man worked hard and had a car, any car, but it all came down to attraction.) in the first place I wouldn't be in this situation now. I'll see what I find out there and likely will report back.
Ok, it would depend on if I were attracted to you in person but a 5 doesn't sound good, to be honest. Everything else does and being a woman who does not have sex unless in a relationship, and I am a woman who while not the youngest had 2 very long relationships so I've had very few partners, I agree, you should be straight up and ask by the 4th date if she plans to have sex with you. You shouldn't waste your time either. I do not waste people's time. I will tell them I don't want to see them anymore straight up. It might not be what they want to hear, but I am not trying to use a man for dinner etc. if I'm not interested. Everything else sounds ok about you.
The last guy I was with, I thought he was maybe a 6 in looks and somehow I don't feel I'm much more than a 6 these days myself. He's doing great since the break up and I can't find anyone. I fully admit I thought I was better looking than him, but I was very attracted to him just the same (a short guy too! -for you men who worry about that) so I am starting to think I'm not as great as I thought I was but I think my self esteem is just really low right now.
That was my rating on "hot or not". It was a 5.5 about 10 years ago and its about a 4.5 today. I did it 10 years ago because I needed to collect data on why I was having so many problems finding women. So once I started dating women at around there I did a lot better.
....But is it really important in the grand scheme of things?
....Or are such superficial things something she will regret?
Every person faces the personal consequences of their decisions, good and bad.
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