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Old 05-23-2013, 05:58 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,241 posts, read 7,171,669 times
Reputation: 3014

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In my case being 'the other man', since this is a gay thing...sort of....

Coming out of the loss of my partner 3.5 years ago and a very recent bad breakup, I am feeling...lonley...and decided to look at Craiglist.

Most of the ads are pretty...shall we say....impersonal. C.L. seems to be the online version of having sex in a park or something..fast, casual, anonymous.

But there was this one ad that seemed like the other party wanted more affection and romance.

So, I try to make contact, but have sort of a bad feeling about it since he is apparently straight and married. Based on some initial e-mails he is quite the family man (doing stuff for aged parents, husband, father, soon to be grandfather). So he wants to talk on the phone.

So I call, but he can't speak freely. Guess the wife is nearby?

After all this, and I am already feeling wierd about being a potential "other woman" in someones extramarital affair, I am going to pull the plug. I sort of am curious as to what this guy looks like, but no, this is NOT right.

There is also..how should I say this....something that rubs me the wrong way about this. He is able to claim heterosexual privelege, in that he is ostensibly the regular guy, with family, kids, grandkids, a normal life, but then dips down into this demimonde of a sexual underground, of sexual outsiders, such as myself...there is something about that that I sort of resent. Resent being used, maybe?

Not what I am looking for...no...not going to be the other woman, not going through with this.
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:02 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,543,435 times
Reputation: 53073
Do NOT form an emotional connection to a demonstrated liar.
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:04 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,997,945 times
Reputation: 11707
It does sound like a situation to stay clear of! You would definitely be better off with someone single, free and clear, and confident in their preferences!

I do not think CL is the best place to go looking. Although I am sure there are quality legitimate people there, finding them among all the bad actors is like searching for a needle in a haystack!
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:44 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,241 posts, read 7,171,669 times
Reputation: 3014
I'm thinking that CL would be maaybe a place for something, but I need to make my own ad and see what comes of it....surfing in there and replying to that ad was sort of an act of desperation and feeling alone....
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Orange County, CA
3,727 posts, read 6,220,958 times
Reputation: 4257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
I'm thinking that CL would be maaybe a place for something, ...
Perhaps best used for finding a new apartment, nothing more??
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,078 posts, read 15,074,986 times
Reputation: 3937
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackShoe View Post
Perhaps best used for finding a new apartment, nothing more??
^this
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:40 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,104,160 times
Reputation: 11796
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackShoe View Post
Perhaps best used for finding a new apartment, nothing more??
This. I can't imagine anyone decent posting an ad on CL.
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Old 05-23-2013, 10:16 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,241 posts, read 7,171,669 times
Reputation: 3014
Craigslist is free...which is one reason I was looking into it.
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Old 05-23-2013, 10:17 AM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,991,054 times
Reputation: 6849
Is OKCupid not good for gay guys in your area?

I agree, if you want romance and a relationship, someone who is cheating is not the place to look.
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Old 05-23-2013, 11:58 AM
 
Location: USA
31,001 posts, read 22,045,160 times
Reputation: 19062
Stay away from CL period. It's the bottom of the Barrel. Do you think this guy is Gay and living a Lie? Or is he Bi and just endulging his fantisies? Either way you know the right thing to do.
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