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You are respectful enough to follow the tradition of asking your girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage but you are not respectful enough to remain monogamous? I figure you were 21 at the time, but maybe you should give this relationship a few more years before deciding marriage is the best route for you.
From what you've written:
-You've made impulsive decisions that affect how other people view their relationship with you.
-You borrowed a significant amount of money to cover the expense of an engagement ring. Regardless of your job, that money should have been saved up or loaned from a financial institution. Borrowing from your parents just before asking for someone's hand in marriage already lets me know that you aren't able to handle finances.
-You're upset that her parents did not accept your proposal and instead of thinking about this rationally, you write, "To hell with them."
From the little information I have gathered about you, you shouldn't be getting married. You should be growing up or spending the next few years figuring out what your values are and what you want out of life. Without them, you're doomed to have a failed marriage, broken relationships, and a lot of debt.
You are respectful enough to follow the tradition of asking your girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage but you are not respectful enough to remain monogamous? I figure you were 21 at the time, but maybe you should give this relationship a few more years before deciding marriage is the best route for you.
From what you've written:
-You've made impulsive decisions that affect how other people view their relationship with you.
-You borrowed a significant amount of money to cover the expense of an engagement ring. Regardless of your job, that money should have been saved up or loaned from a financial institution. Borrowing from your parents just before asking for someone's hand in marriage already lets me know that you aren't able to handle finances.
-You're upset that her parents did not accept your proposal and instead of thinking about this rationally, you write, "To hell with them."
From the little information I have gathered about you, you shouldn't be getting married. You should be growing up or spending the next few years figuring out what your values are and what you want out of life. Without them, you're doomed to have a failed marriage, broken relationships, and a lot of debt.
You know what? You are right. I guess I'll just go out and have a nice evening with my #1 girl.
You were already with her for about a year (so you knew what you had) and some random girl at a gym made you stray, clearly this girl ain't all that. Don't marry her, certainly not now.
So I have been dating a wonderful girl for the last 3 years. She is beautiful, smart, funny, and is my other half, which I love.
Here's the problem. So I recently went looking for nice engagement rings, since I am preparing to ask her to marry me. So I bought a plane ticket to NY to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. They said NO.
I admit, they might have a valid reason. About 2 years ago, I cheated on my girlfriend with a girl I met at the gym. The affair lasted about a week. This is the reason why her parents don't want me betrothed to their daughter.
What should I do? I LOVE her to death, but when she tells her parents I proposed, what kind of hell will ensue? For crying out loud, her father called me SCUM. I need your advice.
This is why you don't ask the parents. It's a tradition. And traditions are worthless and need to die in a fire. But..maybe you can turn this into a positive. Do you want a lifetime of having to deal with them? They may have saved you a lot of heartache. Maybe best to put her in your past so you don't have to deal with them.
Based on what I gleaned from an inquiry thread in my neck of the woods...
Is your fiancee planning on living with you, or is this going to be long distance? With all these changes going on in your life - awesome job, new location - and now the dramas of potential in-laws, is marriage something in the cards?
Only you can answer that, and if you feel that she is the one, then you should talk to her. And ask her.
(I also still don't get why you borrowed 19k to buy a ring esp. when you have such a generous housing budget, but some things will always remain a mystery.)
Based on what I gleaned from an inquiry thread in my neck of the woods...
Is your fiancee planning on living with you, or is this going to be long distance? With all these changes going on in your life - awesome job, new location - and now the dramas of potential in-laws, is marriage something in the cards?
Only you can answer that, and if you feel that she is the one, then you should talk to her. And ask her.
(I also still don't get why you borrowed 19k to buy a ring esp. when you have such a generous housing budget, but some things will always remain a mystery.)
Good luck with the move!
She doesn't know yet, but she got accepted to UT at Houston Medical School.
Her parents didn't lend him the money. He asked his own parents. Apparently they had 19 grand to throw away.
Right!OP post a pic of this ring because WTF did you buy? Go to jewerly store and drop $5k at the most. $19k is ridiculous unless you're a celebrity.
Even $10k if you have the dough but 19?
That kind of doesn't even sound legit. If it is then I feel for the kids who can't go to college and law school because a rich kid who's parents can drop 19k on a ring for him got 100% scholarships and grants. Even if you got them you were obviously in a position where money was no object as far as school I'm thinking.
I didn't propose, so I guess I'm going to wait. But she laid a life-altering bombshell on me.
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