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My objective for posting this here is:
-To get feedback, opinions, different perspectives from members who bring various experiences, have different backgrounds, ages, etc.
I am asking on this forum because my group of friends tend to be my same age, etc., and are biased relative to the outcome. So while their thoughts are valuable, I would like to hear more thoughtful opinions. I really hope to avoid any attacks, name calling, insults, but hey, it's the internet so I take what I get.
I live in Southern California, in what is considered to be a nice area. I love the area, my home, and have friends and family here. I am 46. Female, divorced from a serial cheater 3 years ago. Was going to avoid men at all costs, ha, did not work. Have been in a relationship for 1.5 years with a wonderful man. We are very compatable in many aspects, do a lot of things together but also have our own friends. We don't live together but have discussed "the future". We obviously don't worry about kids, he has one, I have zero. I love his kid, she is 18 and headed to the Air Force.
He is getting transfered to St Louis. UGH. My job, which is awesome, great comp, great boss, great co-workers is a west region job. Period. I don't have this job in St Louis.
Here are our options:
-We say "it was a great time, good luck, bye". -Both of us have vetoed this one.
-We attempt to do a LTR for a while with the objective us both landing in the same state (in other words, he works to get transfered to the west region so I can retain my position)This of course might be good in theory but could take a long time.
-Or...I leave my job and seek employement in St Louis. This is scary, because like I said, I am in a great position and love it.
SO, I feel like I am picking, the amazing relationship or the amazing job and lifestyle.
I appreciate any thoughts, comments, and while I know no one can make my decision I would love to hear thought provoking ideas, experience, etc.
Thank you.
Stay put, let him work his way back to the West Coast. You are the one with everything to lose if you go St. Louis. Never put yourself in that position for what is really just a "boyfriend" right now. A woman alone does not need to mess herself up financially for what might end in the not too distant future.
Notice boyfriend has not said " marriage". If this is going to be a long term, good solid relationship, then stay where you are and let it play out and see where it goes. If it's meant to be, it will. .
I tried a LDR with a gal once. She didn't really want to move to my home, and I didn't blame her. She had a job she loved and a huge family where she lived. I'd planned to move to her place in the midwest and start another business there, but in the end I stayed put and called off the wedding. I decided I'd miss the west more than I missed her. Hearing this she wanted to move, but it was too late.
She contacted me years later asking what she could have done to save our relationship. The only thing I could think of was that if she'd moved in with me before I ended it. Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain for years on end. I was tired of all the traveling, the weekend "dates", time away from my business, etc.
Stay put, let him work his way back to the West Coast. You are the one with everything to lose if you go St. Louis. Never put yourself in that position for what is really just a "boyfriend" right now. A woman alone does not need to mess herself up financially for what might end in the not too distant future.
Notice boyfriend has not said " marriage". If this is going to be a long term, good solid relationship, then stay where you are and let it play out and see where it goes. If it's meant to be, it will. .
He said marriage I said ugh....I think at our age we don't need to get married.
I tried a LDR with a gal once. She didn't really want to move to my home, and I didn't blame her. She had a job she loved and a huge family where she lived. I'd planned to move to her place in the midwest and start another business there, but in the end I stayed put and called off the wedding. I decided I'd miss the west more than I missed her. Hearing this she wanted to move, but it was too late.
She contacted me years later asking what she could have done to save our relationship. The only thing I could think of was that if she'd moved in with me before I ended it. Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain for years on end. I was tired of all the traveling, the weekend "dates", time away from my business, etc.
Interesting, so you ended it because you lost the connection with her or because you did not feel that she was putting much effort into it, or?...
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