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I as long as many other men can put 2 and 2 together when they realize she is dating 7 different men and she won't kiss you on the 2nd date. That almost always means she isn't attracted to you or that she is attracted to another man. I wouldn't waste time going on the 3rd date because if she doesn't like you by the 3rd date, she probably won't ever like you.
I as long as many other men can put 2 and 2 together when they realize she is dating 7 different men and she won't kiss you on the 2nd date. That almost always means she isn't attracted to you or that she is attracted to another man. I wouldn't waste time going on the 3rd date because if she doesn't like you by the 3rd date, she probably won't ever like you.
Women hope that men dont put 2 and 2 together so that they can continue playing 7-10 men at once.
After seeing a few dozen posts of yours like this, I have to ask -- WHY do you spend money on dates?
If going dutch is not your culture, why not do stuff that is free? You clearly have an enormous chip on your shoulder about dates that involve money -- so why do you go on them? Take her to the beach, or go hiking, or to a picnic in the park, or swimming in a river, or play pool in the basement of the student union (if you live in a college town like I do), or to a museum (ok, that might cost you 5 bucks). In the summer, go to all the free events your city puts on in the parks -- Shakespeare and other plays, concerts, movies.
Every date I've ever been on has been free or dutch, but I would not date you. Inability to take responsibility for your own choices is on my personal no fly list.
Don't get me wrong -- I do appreciate your contributions to this forum. But this giant bit of illogic seems inconsistent with the rest of your personality.
Why should guys accept that when they know that there are guys that women will have sex with early on, why not just shoot to be that guy. It is unbelivibly frustrating to have to be that guy that has to go on endless dates to let a woman feel things out, she is either into you or she is not, very seldom will a month of dating result in anything.
Are you just trying to have sex with someone (anyone!) as quickly as possible, or are you trying to make a connection with another human being that could lead to something long-term? Most women tend to be selective over who they allow inside their bodies. It isn't a bad thing.
So why complain about the majority of women who aren't like that? They do what works for them and you do what works for you.
It was with much difficulty that I found my gf, I experienced the typical "send out 20-30 well thought out messages to get one or 2 responses (over the course of 2-3 weeks). I got on hot or not to determine how attractive I roughly was (I know its not exact but it gets you in the ball park) so that I could ball park where to set my bar (again its not an exact science but you can get close). Going on the dates with the side hugs and no touching but she wanted to keep "dating" was frustrating and she cut it off after the 3rd date becuase I brought up sex, so I dodged a bullet there, she was pretty hot though relative to me.
I am trying to just throw out my expereinces to maybe save some guys alot of grief. there are some guys on here that are like "oh goody golly a 7 is going out with me" even though they are getting side hugs and there is no sex in sight, they need to cut it off and move on and inch the bar a little lower.
I have learned through other threads and my own experiences that women do in fact know VERY early on if they are going to sleep with you or not. If your not getting sex on the 3rd or 4th date then your odds of getting laid a month or 2 later drop to almost 0 (its not 0 but do you really want to spend your time playing such low odds).
If it were any more difficult for me I may have opted for plastic surgery. Involentary celibacy is a lagitimate quality of life issue. I figure if iron man does not have to pander for 20 dates to get a kiss then im not going to (I get its a movie but again you get the idea), I am simply going to work to make myself better and inch the bar lower to women who really want me.
Women say men are players and doing this and that, but in reality the women are the expert players and they are winning hands down and most men are fools. How does a woman get away with dating 7 men at one time anyways unless they are idiots or they are all playing her as well. When men act the fool they ruin it for the rest of us because womens heads go to the clouds and that makes dating really suck for most of us guys.
Let's break it down. You are juggling him and he is juggling you. Do you really see long term potential in this situation despite your attraction to him? I understand this is a situation only people with options face. Personally I'm juggling three people right now. Two of them are only seeing me. The third is juggling me as well. I see no long term potential in this one and yet I'm still engaging her. Why? Because she is the type that has the option to juggle multiple men and she is highly attractive to me. And yet I am realistic and I see it for what it is.
I'm actually going to see the guy tomorrow and I'm going to ask him if he and I can see more of each other (as opposed to short 3 hour dates once a week). If he can't, for whatever reason, I'm going to have to cut him loose. I've thought about it a lot and decided that I like him, but I don't want a "relationship" where I just see someone once a week for three hours and that's it. I want more than that from someone I like.
I figure the kissing/no kissing issue will take care of itself from there. I think if he's willing to hang out more, that will make me more comfortable and more open to kissing and if he's not willing to hang out more, well, then it's pretty much over anyway.
I'm willing to date less guys (and eventually no other guys) if this person works out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adhom
Let's break it down. You are juggling him and he is juggling you. Do you really see long term potential in this situation despite your attraction to him? I understand this is a situation only people with options face. Personally I'm juggling three people right now. Two of them are only seeing me. The third is juggling me as well. I see no long term potential in this one and yet I'm still engaging her. Why? Because she is the type that has the option to juggle multiple men and she is highly attractive to me. And yet I am realistic and I see it for what it is.
It was with much difficulty that I found my gf, I experienced the typical "send out 20-30 well thought out messages to get one or 2 responses (over the course of 2-3 weeks). I got on hot or not to determine how attractive I roughly was (I know its not exact but it gets you in the ball park) so that I could ball park where to set my bar (again its not an exact science but you can get close). Going on the dates with the side hugs and no touching but she wanted to keep "dating" was frustrating and she cut it off after the 3rd date becuase I brought up sex, so I dodged a bullet there, she was pretty hot though relative to me.
I am trying to just throw out my expereinces to maybe save some guys alot of grief. there are some guys on here that are like "oh goody golly a 7 is going out with me" even though they are getting side hugs and there is no sex in sight, they need to cut it off and move on and inch the bar a little lower.
I have learned through other threads and my own experiences that women do in fact know VERY early on if they are going to sleep with you or not. If your not getting sex on the 3rd or 4th date then your odds of getting laid a month or 2 later drop to almost 0 (its not 0 but do you really want to spend your time playing such low odds).
If it were any more difficult for me I may have opted for plastic surgery. Involentary celibacy is a lagitimate quality of life issue. I figure if iron man does not have to pander for 20 dates to get a kiss then im not going to (I get its a movie but again you get the idea), I am simply going to work to make myself better and inch the bar lower to women who really want me.
Women say men are players and doing this and that, but in reality the women are the expert players and they are winning hands down and most men are fools. How does a woman get away with dating 7 men at one time anyways unless they are idiots or they are all playing her as well. When men act the fool they ruin it for the rest of us because womens heads go to the clouds and that makes dating really suck for most of us guys.
*sigh* I think you have a harsh black and white outlook on dating. You want absolutes when it's about feelings.
She's not trying to sleep with 7 men. She's seeing 4 men on early meet and greet dates. 3 men would like dates. (If I'm remembering correctly.) Stop being an overreacting sourpuss.
*sigh* I think you have a harsh black and white outlook on dating. You want absolutes when it's about feelings.
She's not trying to sleep with 7 men. She's seeing 4 men on early meet and greet dates. 3 men would like dates. (If I'm remembering correctly.) Stop being an overreacting sourpuss.
Alot of guys dont get the luxury of sorting through 7 different women to pick the best one. They have to employ different tactics otherwise they are going to be using internet porn with no end in sight. I dont knock violet for what she is doing, it would be amazing to have thoes kinds of options. For those of us that dont we have to do things differently.
Obviously my advice wont apply to a guy who is juggling 10 women and could get another 5 on the line at any point in time, its for the guys that have to spend a month to get one woman sorta kinda interested.
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