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Old 05-27-2013, 04:41 PM
 
2,385 posts, read 4,330,380 times
Reputation: 2405

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
He just told you who is he here. Be VERY careful with this man. I don't care that you called late (texted) but now you know that's a no no.

Under the assumption he's telling the truth he's not trying to get me in the sack . . . Yeah, he is.
Stick to the no sex without commitment and make sure from his actions (removing his profile is a start) he's serious about being monogamous with you.

I am a sex with commitment only type. I tell you that so you can consider the source, I don't have a good feeling about this man. Time will show his true colors but I feel he's already brought up sex far too much for this early on while flat out telling you he was seeing other women. We all know dating leads to sex but I'd really go slow with this guy. Respect yourself, you first, protect yourself and your heart and if he doesn't like it he can go kick rocks.
Yes, my girlfriends said the same thing...to be careful! But I figure that since I'm not planning on sleeping with him or anyone anytime soon anyway, I should be ok
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Old 05-27-2013, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Toronto
2,159 posts, read 2,808,822 times
Reputation: 1158
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
It was me being jealous of other peoples options because I have never had options myself lol. There are no issues with what she is doing in an absolute sense morally I just don't know what its like. I do know that I don't want to feel like a jester competiting against 6 other guys though so I would probably bow out of a situation like that but that's just me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
She actually has 6 other options.
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
That's good your on the same page, it sounds like this is way outside of anything I have ever experienced before so I probably cant be of much help. 25 to 30 suitors and sifted through to 7 of them, I was lucky if I got one or 2 women in a month to respond to me so I cant really relate.

This sounds like one of those life styles of the hot and desirable, different problems than im used too. If he has 7 women lined up as well then he is obviously also hot. Its a whole different world out there for some people. As I said before maybe in another life I would get to experience this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
One thing I have heard through the grape vine is women who are getting 10-15 emails a day have to create tables on big pieces of papers to keep the men separate and weight out the pros and cons, you could probably use an excel spread sheet as well.

PMSL! Excuse my language. Your responses are funny. I felt the way applying for college and when I was job hunting. I didn't look so good on paper. Eventually, networking worked out.
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Old 05-27-2013, 04:48 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,985,140 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violett View Post
I'm not sure if you're referring to me, but I do not have low standards.
Oh, no, no! I am sorry that it sounded like that to you. I wasn't thinking that AT ALL. Which is why I didn't realise it could sound that way .

Quote:
If you look at all the responses people have had in this thread alone (I'm crazy to think 2 dates is too soon, I must be cheating on a bf, etc.), you'll see why I'm concerned he won't believe me. If strangers on the internet don't believe me (and I have zero reason to lie to strangers online about my situation) what makes me think that the guy who's emotionally invested is going to believe me? I also feel that if I were in his shoes, *I* would find it fishy if one date he wants to kiss and then all of a sudden he doesn't. So, I can appreciate where he might be coming from.
I guess to me it is the other way around. I think people are more likely to tell the truth to someone they are talking with face to face, and see as a 'real person'.

I also think that he, and you, should be able to tell if someone is lying to their face.

Quote:
I'm super new to online dating (I've only dated people I've known for a while in the past), so I'm really just feeling my way around and learning how this all works as well as learning about myself. If someone had asked me if I felt comfortable kissing someone on a 2nd date, I wouldn't have been able to tell them because I didn't know. Now I know.
This right here would be a great way to explain to him. Just say what you wrote here .
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Old 05-27-2013, 04:54 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,985,140 times
Reputation: 6848
I thought the 'naughty parts' comment was just playfulness.


Like Highlife, I refuse to compete. Myself, when internet dating, I go on a lot of first dates, but when I meet someone I am willing to see a second time -- or at most, a third time -- I stop seeing everyone else.

Like Violett, attraction is not something that happens on a first date for me, usually. I need to know the person better.

Like others here, I have a bad feeling about this guy's honesty.

--

Violett, you might consider initiating a conversation: 'So, we've agreed we don't want to do anything sexual until we are monogamous, and we are both seeing other people right now. How do you envision the transition working, when you get to the point that you want to have sex -- with me or someone else? How do you change from dating multiple people to monogamy? Especially before you know what the sex will be like?'

I think his answer, and especially his body language when answering, will help you know what is really going on with him.
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Old 05-27-2013, 04:56 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 7,232,686 times
Reputation: 11987
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violett View Post
I don't think of sexual parts as dirty. "Naughty" is just a turn of phrase. If I said I pulled the wool over someone's eyes, it doesn't mean I literally pulled wool over their eyes, just like referring to body parts as naughty doesn't mean I literally think they're sinful, just typically off limits. I think some people are on a fishing expedition to find something that's not there.

I enjoy sex, and all of the other sexual actions that come along with it, just fine, with the right partner.

But this discussion is not the reason I started this thread, so I won't be responding to anymore questions like this.
^^^^^^this is what I was looking for.

Something about this guy is telling you he's NOT THE RIGHT PARTNER.
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Old 05-27-2013, 05:12 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,985,140 times
Reputation: 6848
@Highlife:

I have been known to make a little chart.

Not to compare plusses and minuses (why would I date someone I thought was less than awesome?) but to keep people straight who I have not yet met in person. Which one has a daughter named Emily? And who likes Italian food?

But then, I was a math student .
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Old 05-27-2013, 05:49 PM
 
1,839 posts, read 3,062,668 times
Reputation: 1102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violett View Post
I don't think of sexual parts as dirty. "Naughty" is just a turn of phrase. If I said I pulled the wool over someone's eyes, it doesn't mean I literally pulled wool over their eyes, just like referring to body parts as naughty doesn't mean I literally think they're sinful, just typically off limits. I think some people are on a fishing expedition to find something that's not there.

I enjoy sex, and all of the other sexual actions that come along with it, just fine, with the right partner.

But this discussion is not the reason I started this thread, so I won't be responding to anymore questions like this.
Good girl. WTF??? The OP doesn't seem to have any weirdness sexually to me. I don't know why people are freaking out because she said naughty parts. So many different ways to describe things and it's all being read into WAY too much. Geez.
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Old 05-27-2013, 06:33 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,222,832 times
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I would not know how to transition from dating 7 people to just one lol.
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Old 05-27-2013, 07:07 PM
 
640 posts, read 716,976 times
Reputation: 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
I guarantee he will start looking/dating other women with this sort of response, he may still go out with you as a friend if he has no other prospects that moment but he will be looking. If this were a response I got on a 3rd date where I might be hoping for sex to happen I would start dating other women.
I would assume I'd been "friend-zoned"...
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Old 05-27-2013, 07:16 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,222,832 times
Reputation: 2047
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
@Highlife:

I have been known to make a little chart.

Not to compare plusses and minuses (why would I date someone I thought was less than awesome?) but to keep people straight who I have not yet met in person. Which one has a daughter named Emily? And who likes Italian food?

But then, I was a math student .
Might be fun to create that spread sheet I just have never needed too. I am just thankfull I found A girlfriend, I will stick with her till/if she leaves. I hope to never have to go through the dreadful process of dating again
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