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Old 06-13-2013, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,172 posts, read 20,744,044 times
Reputation: 19861

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Just from a numbers perspective, online dating is going to be in favor of women. They post an ad and get hundreds of replies to sort through. They can afford to skim through and eliminate the ones that don't have a photo or have a photo but don't see what they like. Then they do some further sorting and read the profile and then finally the ad itself. If you aren't bringing your A game don't bother. That is, be witty, charming, creative...stand out from the pack. She has to sort through hundreds of ads to narrow down to the ones she's going to have time to reply to, make sure you aren't just cutting and pasting the same response to each ad. Pay attention to what she is writing and respond accordingly.
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Old 06-13-2013, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,589,889 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Just from a numbers perspective, online dating is going to be in favor of women.
Only if you're using sites that have more men than women. That's most of them, granted, but not all of them.
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Old 06-13-2013, 08:44 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,617,653 times
Reputation: 7711
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
Actually, the number of women and men are still pretty equal at 40 and even 50 and 60, in the U.S. anyway. It's not until age 65 or 70 that there are noticeably more women than men. Not until 85 or 90 is the gap really huge.

See the graph on page 3:

http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/b...c2010br-03.pdf
We're talking about single people. This chart counts everyone including people who aren't single.

The reason the ratio of single men to single women changes after 40 isn't because of mortality, but rather the male preference for younger women. Women under 40 are being pursued by men both under and over 40. This is why the ratio of single women to single men under 40 is low. With so many men pursuing these women, you'll have fewer still available. On the other side of 40, the opposite is true. You have single women, but the single men their age are getting together with younger women. That eventually skews things leaving more single women over 40 than single men over 40.
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Old 06-13-2013, 09:01 AM
 
2,444 posts, read 3,576,582 times
Reputation: 3133
Quote:
Originally Posted by bob100 View Post
#3 is that pictures lie. But I think the problem is not that people post old pictures or pictures that are too beautiful. I think it’s that only some people are photogenic. Many people who you’d find relatively attractive look horrible in their pictures. I’ll bet you see tons of fairly attractive people in the real world how have poor pictures online.
This I can agree with...

I think another problem is that a person I'm clicking with on texting etc, can be a completely bad match once we meet irl, and this in combination with the fact that most women are weary of meeting men irl before chatting and messaging extensively, because of being afraid of the man being some criminal whatever is kind of annoying... so much time messaging and texting down the drain wasted because we couldn't just meet and find out at once if we clicked or not...
Somebody needs to teach women on dating sites that 1 in every 10000 men is a serial-killer, not 1 in ever 2...

The positives are that you get a taste of who they are by their profile...
for example if their interests are 3 different synonyms for "shopping" paired with 5 synonyms for partying or 3 organizations for worldpeace, gayrights, and environmental activism I'm clicking "next"...

I really think in my case i get a reply from women who wouldn't have looked at me otherwise, because of seeing at least a piece of me other than my looks...and maybe some pass me over because of it what do I know?

But all in all I think it's like someone said before, if you do well irl, you do well offline and vice versa...
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Old 06-13-2013, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,879 posts, read 8,369,490 times
Reputation: 5179
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
I'm 29 and several of my female friends have expressed reluctance to use it.
I think regional that are many differences when it comes to online dating. Here, pretty much every single person I know has tried it more than once and I know people in their 50s and 60s with online dating profiles. And getting dates.

Quote:
i used okcupid , match, and okcupid on-and-off for about 5 or 6 years, in north carolina.
What's apparently wrong about these sites or this location? Nothing , I think.
Again, I think regionally this can very greatly. When I was online dating and from the impressions I get from my friends, free sites like OkCupid and Plenty of Fish were the bottom of the barrel sites with the worst prospects. I remember checking them out and left within a day. Match was a much better caliber. But again, this could be my region.
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Old 06-13-2013, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,589,889 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
We're talking about single people. This chart counts everyone including people who aren't single.
Of course, but because polygamy is illegal in the U.S., the numbers of married people for each sex is the same, and cancel each other out. The only thing that would throw this off would be if there are significantly more same-sex marriages for one sex than the other, but that's a different dating pool entirely.

The poster I was responding to was referring specifically to the M/F imbalance that comes from the sexes' different mortality rates. I was just pointing out that this isn't much of a factor until much later in life. We weren't discussing who pursues whom, which I agree is another variable that further complicates things.
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Old 06-13-2013, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,589,889 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
Again, I think regionally this can very greatly. When I was online dating and from the impressions I get from my friends, free sites like OkCupid and Plenty of Fish were the bottom of the barrel sites with the worst prospects. I remember checking them out and left within a day. Match was a much better caliber. But again, this could be my region.
Nope, that's pretty consistent with other regions. The free sites (including OKC and POF), besides having lower quality, also have way more men than women. For men that means they're bad all around. For women it means "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." You'll have plenty of men to choose from, but will have to put a lot of effort into weeding out the bad ones.
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Old 06-13-2013, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,582,558 times
Reputation: 16395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Just from a numbers perspective, online dating is going to be in favor of women. They post an ad and get hundreds of replies to sort through. They can afford to skim through and eliminate the ones that don't have a photo or have a photo but don't see what they like. Then they do some further sorting and read the profile and then finally the ad itself. If you aren't bringing your A game don't bother. That is, be witty, charming, creative...stand out from the pack. She has to sort through hundreds of ads to narrow down to the ones she's going to have time to reply to, make sure you aren't just cutting and pasting the same response to each ad. Pay attention to what she is writing and respond accordingly.
Weird, because I've had a POF account for nearly 3 weeks now and have received a grand total of 3 messages, one of which was from the 'founder' welcoming me to the site. The top 1/3 of attractive women receive a disproportionate amount of the emails while the bottom 2/3 are almost entirely ignored. Oh, and I'm no obese and I don't have children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking View Post
This I can agree with...

I think another problem is that a person I'm clicking with on texting etc, can be a completely bad match once we meet irl, and this in combination with the fact that most women are weary of meeting men irl before chatting and messaging extensively, because of being afraid of the man being some criminal whatever is kind of annoying... so much time messaging and texting down the drain wasted because we couldn't just meet and find out at once if we clicked or not...
Somebody needs to teach women on dating sites that 1 in every 10000 men is a serial-killer, not 1 in ever 2...

The positives are that you get a taste of who they are by their profile...
for example if their interests are 3 different synonyms for "shopping" paired with 5 synonyms for partying or 3 organizations for worldpeace, gayrights, and environmental activism I'm clicking "next"...

I really think in my case i get a reply from women who wouldn't have looked at me otherwise, because of seeing at least a piece of me other than my looks...and maybe some pass me over because of it what do I know?

But all in all I think it's like someone said before, if you do well irl, you do well offline and vice versa...
It must be nice not to have to worry about being raped or harmed...but as a woman, it IS something that I'm worried about when meeting a strange man. You think it's silly for women to be worried about it because you'll likely NEVER experience it or have to worry about it at all. Please don't dismiss our fears as unimportant because they don't affect you directly.
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Old 06-13-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post

To add to it, a person in good shape is not going to want to date an overweight person in any social situation. So whether its in person, or online.. your odds are way against you if you're overweight. Conclusion, go to the gym.. eat healthier and lose your weight.
A simple reality check doesn't bear this out. Remember, your preferences aren't the rest of the world's preferences. People vary tremendously in their thought patterns, preferences and flexibility of their range of preferences.
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Old 06-13-2013, 04:23 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,216,924 times
Reputation: 2046
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Weird, because I've had a POF account for nearly 3 weeks now and have received a grand total of 3 messages, one of which was from the 'founder' welcoming me to the site. The top 1/3 of attractive women receive a disproportionate amount of the emails while the bottom 2/3 are almost entirely ignored. Oh, and I'm no obese and I don't have children.



It must be nice not to have to worry about being raped or harmed...but as a woman, it IS something that I'm worried about when meeting a strange man. You think it's silly for women to be worried about it because you'll likely NEVER experience it or have to worry about it at all. Please don't dismiss our fears as unimportant because they don't affect you directly.
I made it a point to filter and only message heavy women, it was still a night mare but at least it was not hopless.
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