Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I agree. The OP's question doesn't make sense to me. If you have nothing in common with someone, how are you going to build a relationship? Sex and attraction aren't enough for a stable long-term relationship. That doesn't mean you have to have EVERYTHING in common, but you do have to have some common ground.
So the saying "opposites attract" is lost on you?
Irregardless, my question is about liking to do the same things vs. having things in common. I believe you can have many things in common: education; socio-economic status; religion; cultural upbringing; to name a few, and still not find many things you like to do together.
If you've never done online dating, you might not understand. Some people set a whole bunch of conditions on who they are willing to date and tell it as such on their profile. I have not done so, so far, and am just curious if I may need to change that tactic for next go-around.
Irregardless, my question is about liking to do the same things vs. having things in common. I believe you can have many things in common: education; socio-economic status; religion; cultural upbringing; to name a few, and still not find many things you like to do together.
If you've never done online dating, you might not understand. Some people set a whole bunch of conditions on who they are willing to date and tell it as such on their profile. I have not done so, so far, and am just curious if I may need to change that tactic for next go-around.
Thanks for clarifying your question. Having a couple of common interests (meaning; liking the same things) is one thing that provides that potential spark of attraction. But it's an unpredictable thing; it's not like you can post a laundry list of required interests. It doesn't work that way.
Opposites may attract, but they generally don't make for durable LTR's, according to psychologists. There probably are exceptions.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-09-2013 at 02:34 PM..
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,078 posts, read 15,078,355 times
Reputation: 3937
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLgirl727
Single again (recently), and taking a short break from the dating scene. So as I sit here at home on a Saturday night, I think back over the last 2 years and 2 relationships I've had and realize that most Saturday nights... I'm sitting here at home. Whether I'm sitting home by myself, or with a BF parked on the couch next to me doesn't seem to matter. Home is less fun then out having fun. If dating means I'm still going to always be sitting home, why should I even bother?
So in retrospect, I'm wondering if I need to be trying to find men to date that have similar interests as mine. It really isn't usually a priority of mine, because I never cite a laundry list of conditions when I'm out looking for a new man. I will be polishing up my online profile in anticipation of putting myself out there again, and perhaps need to tweak it to prevent this from becoming a long term pattern.
So my questions to those out there in a good, solid, emotionally satisfying relationship are:
1. Do you still do all the fun stuff you did before you met your partner?
2. If there are things you like to do that your partner does not, do you give it up or leave them behind to go have fun on your own.
3. Are you having fun, really, truly, laugh out loud on a regular basis kind of fun?
Thank you all for your input. All responses are appreciated.
No I do not...I played in bands,rode and built motorcycles,hot rods etc etc etc and my SO was cool with it at first,but the things that attracted her to me in the beginning became the things that she became jealous over in the long run...we still ride horses and boat a bit,but the fun is gone other than a few minutes at a time...can be somemiserable crap being with someone who flat out doesn't get you or is jealous as hell.
The one thing, is the time you spend on things you like to do...I work out after work, for two hours or so, I go to the gym, do yoga, cycling, sometimes take a shower, lift wieghts...go tanning. An SO needs to understand, that is how I spend my time. I am not going to go hang at the bar for happy hour, after work with him. I had an SO, who felt "left out" by my gym time. whatever. He could join the gym, or not...but my routine was not going to change.
My new SO, went to the gym, but really, he is not that into it...fine, he stays home, cooks dinner, when I get home, dinner is made, and we spend time together eating dinner, I clean up, we hang out...much better.
If the person you're with with loses interest in doing things that you like then you might as well move on. I had a girlfriend who loved to go out and test hot cars during the first year we were together. We talked about getting one someday. I thought she was truly interested ... she said she liked the smell of an old garage too. About a year into our relationship I noticed that she completely lost interest in cars. I took her out to test drive a car one nice Saturday and all she could do was complain so I turned around and left the car and took her home. Not sure why unless she was faking it in the first year just to please me. She lost interest in doing other things as well with me and we eventually split up.
Single again (recently), and taking a short break from the dating scene. So as I sit here at home on a Saturday night, I think back over the last 2 years and 2 relationships I've had and realize that most Saturday nights... I'm sitting here at home. Whether I'm sitting home by myself, or with a BF parked on the couch next to me doesn't seem to matter. Home is less fun then out having fun. If dating means I'm still going to always be sitting home, why should I even bother?
So in retrospect, I'm wondering if I need to be trying to find men to date that have similar interests as mine. It really isn't usually a priority of mine, because I never cite a laundry list of conditions when I'm out looking for a new man. I will be polishing up my online profile in anticipation of putting myself out there again, and perhaps need to tweak it to prevent this from becoming a long term pattern.
So my questions to those out there in a good, solid, emotionally satisfying relationship are:
1. Do you still do all the fun stuff you did before you met your partner?
2. If there are things you like to do that your partner does not, do you give it up or leave them behind to go have fun on your own.
3. Are you having fun, really, truly, laugh out loud on a regular basis kind of fun?
Thank you all for your input. All responses are appreciated.
Very important to me, but that's my personality. I don't compromise the fun things I do before a relationship. I love golfing, I love going on trips and doing random things outside. If I had a girl who wasn't willing to do my hobbies with me, or worse.. inhibited me from doing them I would dump her instantly.
The girl I'm dating now comes to the driving range with me all the time now and she's getting pretty good.
If your not married to someone identical to yourself, then your not married. Very simple. I didn't realise this many people around the world don't have a clue how to make love.
If your not married to someone identical to yourself, then your not married. Very simple. I didn't realise this many people around the world don't have a clue how to make love.
If your not married to someone identical to yourself, then your not married. Very simple. I didn't realise this many people around the world don't have a clue how to make love.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
