What standards should an ugly, socially awkward virgin have?

[highlife2]

Originally Posted by TJenkins602

Okay, rating sites is B.S.

You are supposedly a 4 where you stand. If you took care of your problem areas (face, stomach) then you could probably make 6, or even higher. Don't expect to get a 10. But in my experience, rating sites are pretty much bunk when it comes to gauging your attractiveness. I've seen women that people regarded as 10s that I myself regard as a 7, 6, or even 5. Attractiveness is primarily subjective. As you go along in life, you may come to the realization that looks are only a part of the whole package of attractiveness. The size of this part depends on the person.

Just the past couple of days, I have been more or less a magnet. Nothing noticeable changed about my physical appearance, (although something did change). I had a more content mentality and I carried myself in a less rushed way. I was more relaxed in my approach to life. More peaceful.

One person whom I have found very helpful is someone named Jad T. Jones. Look him up on Youtube. His early videos talk about how to interact and talk to women. There are also videos on how to deal with insecurities. His most recent videos have been about living the best life.


Look, I have been where you are.

Nope, I was hulked out power lifter and in great shape after basic training and got a 5.5 in my mid 20's then put on about 10 lbs and am about 30 and got a 5, the score wont move much unless he gets plastic surgery. Just like a super cute girl can put on 10-15 lbs and still be nearly the same score because she still has a cute face.

Those scores are not BS, as long as you have a solid pic and it has enough votes to be statisticly significant that is your leauge. go for women who are 4's

[Some Guy From Mars]

It seems that a week does not go by here without a new thread from some guy complaining about a lack of social skills and/or good looks preventing him from attracting the opposite sex. Actually, it should not be so surprising in that I fall into the exact same category.

My story is all too typical: Faced a lot of traumatic life experiences during my informative late teen to early twenties that set me back. When most at the same age were developing their social skills, I took significant steps back in this area. During my prime dating twenties and thirties I faced too many distractions in my personal life (and repercussions from the trauma I faced earlier in life) to really concentrate on dating- and, as a result, hardly gave my social life a second thought. I did not begin to mature from a social standpoint - in terms of developing the needed assertiveness and confidence - until well into my forties. And by then it was too late to begin dating.

So now that I am approaching 50 what have I learned?

The advice I would give anyone struggling with their confidence and social skills early in life would be to first concentrate on improving yourself and let everything else fall into place in the process.

First, focus on the qualities that would not only make you a good husband but father as well. Where to begin? How about being responsible, kind and caring, honest, hard working, trustworthy, loyal, personable, etc. I could continue in this area but I am sure you get the point.

Second, put yourself in a position to be successful. Go out and meet people. Socialize and be socialable when around others. Do not be like me and spend all your spare time by yourself at home.

But what if the above does not work? What if you are still unable to gain the attention of women due to an area out of your control (such as a height related issue). Do not sweat it! If you are doing everything right inwardly and making the effort to maximize your potential outwardly and still cannot attract a woman? Then maybe that speaks less of you and more of them. In other words, there should be no sense of shame or inadequacy in such a scenario.

Why can’t men develop a sense of inward strength and confidence - and conduct themselves in a first class manner in the process - to the extent they do not require the companionship of a woman to feel complete? Or at the very least not have to compromise their standards or stoop to the level of someone else in order to obtain such. I read too many posts here from men complaining that all that women care about is looks and money. Really? If such is the case - and women are truly shallow and materialistic inside and out (please note that I am not implying this but only using the analogy for sake of argument - then why should men consider it a success to obtain their approval?

[Patrick Bateman]

The answer is none.

[49ersfan27]

Originally Posted by UglyGuy

I feel like I have nothing to offer to women. I have a job, my own place, a few hobbies, and a kind heart, but other than that I think have nothing to offer to women. My humor kind of sucks, and the stuff I want to talk about do not sound interesting. I get nervous when trying to make small talk (which isn't very well-received, all I get are one word answer or a short reply like they are not interested) and I can't get the guts to ask them if I can get to know them better. I put up a profile on a free dating website but I've gotten no replies and there aren't many women there my age without children in my area. I am short and about 30 pounds overweight. I've started going to the gym and watching my diet recently hoping I'd look more attractive, but I am a long way from that. I tend to go for women in similar shape to me, but I can't attract those either.

I want to start a family, but apparently I seem to get more and more worthless as a mate to women as time goes along.

I am a ugly socially awkward virgin. I have no standards because I don't date.

[SteakGuy]

Originally Posted by UglyGuy

I've been rated on beautiful people as a 4.

That actually is not so bad.