Ending things with a mind game playing liar (how to, guys, older)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The thing about crazy people is that sometimes the sanest acts drive them nuts. I don't recommend just ignoring him unless you have already told him that you don't want to see him. He might get the idea that you're giving him the silent treatment just to punish him and he'll try harder.
I suggest you send him 1 text: 'This isn't working for me, and I don't want to have any interaction with you anymore. No phone calls, no texts, no running into each other. NO contact. Good luck in your life.'
Then absolutely never reply to anything. BUT save them (texts) for a little while in case you have to accuse him of stalking. Let's hope that doesn't happen.
Another thing he might be doing is trying to push you so far that you're the one to do the breaking up, so that he won't be the bad guy. This may have been his M.O. all along. I had someone do this to me. I gave him what he wanted, or what he thought he wanted. I outright stopped the games and told him we were breaking up. I didn't care if I "looked like" the bad guy (well, bad woman) to a bunch of people I barely or didn't know -- his coworkers, whomever he wanted to impress.
Because you were sleeping with him. And because, like most bullies, he wanted to keep on pushing you, just to see how far he could make you go and how much he could make you take.
Why doesn't a cat just kill the mouse right away? Why doesn't the school bully just ignore his victim if he doesn't like the victim?
I know this hurts. I really do. I am virtual-hugging you from afar. I wish I could do more than that. It is terrible, absolutely terrible to be a victim of a bully/sadist.
Just saw this^
He lied about his age two months ago. I slept with him (two times) a month ago! He TOLD me out of the blue that he lied about his age and being shocked that I stuck around a few days ago. Who knows if and when he'd even tell me.
This all happened very slowly. I wasn't this fun girl sleeping with him all the time.
I did nothing to deserve this. I'm not a mean or haughty girl. I'm very empathetic. Guys that meet me always comment on how nice I am. This man even nicknamed me Angel. Or I guess that was part of the game too!
I feel like trash. I mean how must he see me? As this loser, desperate girl?
If and when he contacts me, which is usually through text, do I have to text back something definite and polite like "This isn't working for me anymore."
Or can I just never text back again?
What are the pros and cons of either?
Part of me wants to "get back" and another part of me wants to put no further thought into this whatsoever.
TIA!
Don't ever do a disappearing act. That just reeks of cowardice.
"This isn't working for me anymore" is a fine response. After you send that message, stop communicating.
The thing about crazy people is that sometimes the sanest acts drive them nuts. I don't recommend just ignoring him unless you have already told him that you don't want to see him. He might get the idea that you're giving him the silent treatment just to punish him and he'll try harder.
I suggest you send him 1 text: 'This isn't working for me, and I don't want to have any interaction with you anymore. No phone calls, no texts, no running into each other. NO contact. Good luck in your life.'
Then absolutely never reply to anything. BUT save them (texts) for a little while in case you have to accuse him of stalking. Let's hope that doesn't happen.
He's this busy executive. Wealthy and often traveling on business. So important!
My thinking is that to protect his ego he'd never follow up on that one unanswered text from a stupid girl.
If and when he contacts me, which is usually through text, do I have to text back something definite and polite like "This isn't working for me anymore."
Or can I just never text back again?
What are the pros and cons of either?
Part of me wants to "get back" and another part of me wants to put no further thought into this whatsoever.
TIA!
Of course! You can choose to never text back. You don't owe him anything if he's toxic. I'm a big fan of no contact with these types. Revenge just feeds into the stupid.
Another thing he might be doing is trying to push you so far that you're the one to do the breaking up, so that he won't be the bad guy. This may have been his M.O. all along. I had someone do this to me. I gave him what he wanted, or what he thought he wanted. I outright stopped the games and told him we were breaking up. I didn't care if I "looked like" the bad guy (well, bad woman) to a bunch of people I barely or didn't know -- his coworkers, whomever he wanted to impress.
Who cared? I just wanted out.
I thought about that M.O. However he wasn't doing a good job of it. He asked if I told my family about him, asked me to cook for him, asked me to plant stuff in his garden. I didn't comment on any of these. I just sat wondering is he just messing with me? This seems to be long term stuff and I have no idea how he feels about me because he'd make these comments that sounded like the truth and yet could also be understood as something to say to push someone away: "I feel like I'm robbing the cradle." "If someone asked me who I'd like to be set up with I'd say mid-thirties." <I said then what are you doing talking to me? He followed that up with "I didn't say my soulmate had to be that age"
I actually cooked for this guy because I felt like I wasn't doing much just binging on drinks and food on his dime. Before dinner he's saying "They say cooking is a labor of love." <I ignored this. I mean what am I supposed to say? Then a few days ago, during that same creepy conversation he brings up how my cooking for him really touched him. And he repeated that stupid "Labor of love" talk.
No idea with this guy? He'd seem to deny doing any sort of pushing away and then seem to test to see how I felt about him. Why care if you want me gone?
I thought about that M.O. However he wasn't doing a good job of it. He asked if I told my family about him, asked me to cook for him, asked me to plant stuff in his garden. I didn't comment on any of these. I just sat wondering is he just messing with me? This seems to be long term stuff and I have no idea how he feels about me because he'd make these comments that sounded like the truth and yet could also be understood as something to say to push someone away: "I feel like I'm robbing the cradle." "If someone asked me who I'd like to be set up with I'd say mid-thirties." <I said then what are you doing talking to me? He followed that up with "I didn't say my soulmate had to be that age"
I actually cooked for this guy because I felt like I wasn't doing much just binging on drinks and food on his dime. Before dinner he's saying "They say cooking is a labor of love." <I ignored this. I mean what am I supposed to say? Then a few days ago, during that same creepy conversation he brings up how my cooking for him really touched him. And he repeated that stupid "Labor of love" talk.
No idea with this guy? He'd seem to deny doing any sort of pushing away and then seem to test to see how I felt about him. Why care if you want me gone?
crumbledcookie, why are you doing this to yourself?
Well then WELCOME TO MY WORLD! He can do what I've been doing for far too long-wondering.
(Haha... Really though, I appreciate your advice!)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
He can do what I've been doing for far too long-wondering.
