Do men ever get baby fever, like women do? (younger, responsible, feeling)

[PI2070]

Originally Posted by Rural City Gal

We hear a lot about females getting baby fever, but I want to know if men do as well? And if they do is it a sign of them being slightly pussified or a sissy?

Spent the last few days taking some boys fishing and hanging out with them.

They told me thank you and that they had fun.


Yeah, sign me up.

[OdysseusNY]

men can want kids but don't go baby crazy like women do since out biological clocks don't run down the same way (at least not during any age a reasonable man would want to be raising an infant)

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

It's been my observation that emotionally well-adjusted, mature men who have gotten their careers on track and begun to build a strong financial foundation will frequently turn their attention and interest toward the importance of relationships and starting a family.

You seem to be right on track

Can I remind people that having a family is completely OPTIONAL and you are not weird if you choose not to be bothered with a family if you are successful?

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

Can I remind people that having a family is completely OPTIONAL and you are not weird if you choose not to be bothered with a family if you are successful?

I didn't say it wasn't optional or that anyone was weird for not choosing to have a family

I've frequently said on this forum that not everyone is called to parenthood, and those who aren't shouldn't ever go there - everyone suffers when they do.

[monemi]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

I didn't say it wasn't optional or that anyone was weird for not choosing to have a family

I've frequently said on this forum that not everyone is called to parenthood, and those who aren't shouldn't ever go there - everyone suffers when they do.

^^ THIS^^

What drives me mad is at weddings and baby showers, some annoying elderly man or woman will start on someone about having kids and how they'll change their mind. No. Just no. If someone doesn't want them, leave them alone. What happens if you convince them to go with this hairbrained scheme and they absolutely hate it? They can't take the kids back to the store now can they?

[findly185]

Those of us (and you know who you are) who have known all our lives that marriage and/or kids were NEVER in our future, know exactly how to tune out the comments and how to answer the questions simply, without hesitation and without being irritated or bothered.

I like being different and not following in line with every other woman. I wear my choices proudly. Ask away.

[dragon_fly_12]

Originally Posted by nald

This. Exactly this.

I don't know why guys need to pretend that they aren't after children. The main difference is that a guy's "biological clock" doesn't exist in the same way it does for a woman. It's generally a psychological thing and that's all, since there is generally no biological clock for a man.
Reason why more guys will be against children is rather because "having children" for an overwhelming majority of people is not just about being a biological parent, which is an ultimate motive, but also to have a child living with them and being a part of their everyday life. Connect it to the numbers of fathers who somehow end up outside of their child's life by either being reduced to a paycheck or a part-time parent, and generally to take care of children during weekends so that the mother can have sex with her lover.
This whole deal obviously affected male population of the united states with their stance to dating, marriage, children and everything regarding family life and it's so apparent when you compare and contrast it with a culture that isn't affected with it.
This sounds so repulsive.

WOW.

I really, REALLY hope my ex husband says this to me someday. REALLY hope so!!!

Know why? Cuz, then I can remind him of how he walked out on our marriage to go shack up with another woman and left me to raise our 5 month old son on my own with the hopes to be a 'drop in dad' when it was convenient for him on his schedule. F*** THAT!

You are forgetting that SOME MEN just can't hack not being the center of attention once the baby comes along.


And for the record .. it was MY HUSBAND that had baby fever, NOT ME.

[dragon_fly_12]

Originally Posted by monemi

I'd say men and women have unrealistic expectations. But women tend to read up and start getting warnings much earlier. Men get the short end of the stick when they find out in the thick of it.

Changes from man to man, but some examples:

What's natural isn't always easy. Natural labour and breastfeeding are things she needs to study up on in advance and needs help and support from the father. Without his support, it just ain't gonna happen. Obviously babies survive without these things, but it can be a source of guilt and turmoil for mother's when they fail. Most often due to lack of support. It would help if guys read up on this stuff first so they can see she isn't making things up.

Underestimate effects of sleep deprivation during postpartum recovery. Organs have to return to their original position. Spine needs to realign (it moves accommodate a child). A lot is happening in the weeks following recovery. A lot of men seem to reason that she's home on mat leave all day, he's at work so she should get up every time. But she's home because she is recovering. They both need sleep. Maybe they could take turns getting up or work something out.

Expect sex too soon. You have a few women who bounce back really fast and they're having sex 2-4 weeks postpartum. Most are in the 4-8 week range. My physical recovery was about 2 weeks, but I had a psychological problem postpartum. Fear of pain during sex can be a self-fulfilling prophesy. Muscles won't relax, too tight, can't relax. I didn't have postpartum depression but this took weeks to work through. Plus fatigue doesn't help.

Of course, these are just my own observations.

Excellent post.

I think some men really don't understand the full, encompassing nature of an infant. Wife's time is no longer his time. It belongs to the baby, and when she can get a moment to sleep, that belongs to her.

Postpartum recovery can take a very long time. For me, the physical recovery was extended due to internal damage that I had no control over. And then, I battled exhaustion from the nursing schedule. And then, I battled the psychological blocks. It can take a while to get back on that horse, and I don't think all men are fully prepared for the long term turn around.

[PhenomenalAJ]

No, only a small minority of men want kids. Most do it because they're not careful with the rubbers or because their girl won't shut up about it. No normal guy wants his life wrecked by the responsibilities of kids. My father couldn't possibly be less happy about having kids, he walks around in a drunken suicidal funk. I'm not Captain Happy myself but I know better what not to do.

[dragon_fly_12]

To answer the OP --- I have known 2 men in my life, thus far, that had baby fever while I never did. The first was a sad, depressed case. His ex had miscarried, and that ultimately resulted in the demise of their relationship. When I met him, he was still grieving. We couldn't and didn't work out for anything long term as his depression and grieving consumed him. The second was my ex husband. He wanted a baby so bad, begged me for years to consider it. The baby was, ultimately, the demise of our marriage.

Love the ground my little tot walks on and have no regrets having him. I just adore the lil buggar every single day - he really is the center of my universe and I couldn't imagine a day without him. But, never had baby fever myself.