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I don't believe I ever said or implied that every form of rape is avoidable. It definitely isn't.
In this case where she chooses to drink in the presence of a group of men who have shown themselves to have ulterior motives, with her fully knowledgeable of the choices she makes when drunk, yes, it is to an extent avoidable. I was speaking to this repeated case specifically.
If someone puts rufies in her drink at a party and rapes her,or grabs her on the street, obviously that isn't avoidable.
I hardly think such scenarios are a reason to just not take control, in general, of one's body or to write off the entire thing as unavoidable. Hence, my repeated assertion that she needs to find ways to make other choices.
Egh I wasn't suggesting you said or implied that every form of rape is avoidable I was explaining why I hold different opinions than yours on the 'in control of her body' part. However it seems we also different opinions on rape being avoidable by choices on rape as I find the only way for a gal to choose to avoid rape is to eliminate heterosexual males.
Her choosing to drink to me is an case of 'in control of her choices' not 'in control of her body'.
I'm aware of this whole notion that such acts are solely/mainly the responsibility and accountability of the gal to "prevent" however I find that bs as don't find it logical to be held accountable for what another chooses to do to one's body.
What's convenient about me not accepting responsibility and accountability for what someone chooses to do to my body? It's convenient I don't find it logical to be liable for another person's choices...
What's convenient is your tendency to blow off opinions you don't agree with while seeing only your opinion as "logical."
Stating "Different opinions" is not blowing off opinions I don't agree with and stating what I, personally, find logical is not seeing only my opinion as logical.
If this is such a tendency of mine care to show where I blow off opinions I don't agree with and state only my opinion is logical?
*my bf starts acting extremely weird, when we're together he tell me that john's bro is a creep and is obviously hitting on me (even though we only have normal conversations) and that i dont seem to mind. Doesn't know the difference between "normal conversations and flirting/hitting on.
*I tell my bf that i'm bad at telling people off/saying no.
* my bf tells me not to join but every one else insists and i join in.
*basically i had to sit on the lap of whomever wins at the video game.
*we start fighting less so i thought that he's finally ok with this stuff
*(again honestly nothing serious going on in these hangouts).
*one day my bf couldn't make it to our hang out so he tells me not to go either. I ask him why and he gives me the "john's bro is an *******" crap again, i tell him that the guys are pushy; he tells me to "get a spine".
*ok, i'll admit i made a mistake here but you have to understand that i got really drunk.
*We ended up having a drinking game at hangout, the guys get me to play a video game which im really bad at because it's my first time. I end up getting drunk and doing some stupid stuff.
*I go to john's for the weekend hangout (this was 2 weeks ago) out of spite but lies and tells my bf that i wasn't going to go.
*My bf calls me during but i ignore him cuz i was still pissed at john's i tell john and his bro that i didn't have any place to go.
*not gonna go into details but i got really drunk that night after tom left because i was still mad at my bf.
*one thing led to another and i ended up sleeping with john's bro. the next day (sunday) i wake up full of guilt and i start crying for a lot of reasons, for cheating and losing my virginity.
* one thing led to another again and we end up having sex again
*i text to my bf telling him that i went and on monday night i go to my bf's place, feeling really guilty. he starts yelling at me, i just cry. He then calms down and tells me that he's sorry, i start crying again. he tells me to just go to sleep and i tell him that i loved him. we make out and i ask him if he loves me back. he tells me that he does. i ask him no matter what? he says of course i tell him what happened; bf is obv shaken up,
we both cry this entire time we're really weird for the next few days, i start telling him that i love him (which is true). we go facebook official, hold hands everywhere (which we didn't use to). this goes on for some time and i feel that i finally regained bf's trust
*one day john's bro texts me asking why i haven't been coming over. I tell him that i dont want to go if my bf isn't there. john's bro asks us to both come because he feels like he wanted to set things straight and apologise to bf. It took a long time but i convince BF to go with me.
* i get mad at bf and we argue; and he ends up ignoring me too. I end up going to john's bro's room and explains to him what happened, he tells me it's cool if i can't see him again. I tell him that it's not true and that it's all a huge mistake. somehow we end up making out and he starts feeling me up.
Stating "Different opinions" is not blowing off opinions I don't agree with and stating what I, personally, find logical is not seeing only my opinion as logical.
If this is such a tendency of mine care to show where I blow off opinions I don't agree with and state only my opinion is logical?
Your sudden use of "egh," which I guess is your version of "meh," to answer each one and your emoticons.
Passive-aggressive way of blowing someone off, whereas a mature answer would be, "I disagree."
Your sudden use of "egh," which I guess is your version of "meh," to answer each one and your emoticons.
Passive-aggressive way of blowing someone off, whereas a mature answer would be, "I disagree."
My use of egh is not sudden as I used it in my second response to JerZ and I use egh to indicate confusion it's my version of "urm" or "er" perhaps it's suited to not guess what someone's words mean and project intentions on them.
As for my emoticons none have been blowing off someone's opinion they have been:
questioning (why it seems only 1 person notice the male was older)
applauding (the concept of in control of her body)
dubious (that one has to question how a gal isn't in control of her body when things like rape exist).
I have stated "Different opinions" and "I disagree". I have given quite mature responses and haven't blow off anyone nor can you provide me where I've done so other than you projecting intentions behind me stating "egh".
Quote:
Originally Posted by udolipixie
Egh different opinions on the fully in control of her body but that sounds cool.
Quote:
Originally Posted by udolipixie
Having a different opinion than yours isn't downplaying. As well as in control of her choices isn't the part I have a different opinion on. I disagree with the in control of her own body part nowhere did I state, suggest, or imply she wasn't in control of her own choices I agree on that.
Last edited by udolipixie; 06-14-2013 at 06:11 AM..
Was this rape and is she a victim ? It depends on how old she is and what state she's living in if this was consensual. It depends on if she ever said "no" or "stop" if she's not too young.
Whatever the case, "John's brother" is obviously a jackass. I think everyone agrees with that. Not someone anyone who isn't also a jackass should want to hang out with.
However, the OP had multiple opportunities to heed the advice of her boyfriend, and avoid contact with these *******s. But she chose their company over respecting the wishes of someone who loved her.
Bottom line is her situation was completely avoidable, and she needs to learn how to avoid situations like this in the future. That needs to be the learning experienced out of this for her.
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It's convenient I don't find it logical to be liable for another person's choices...
(the concept of in control of her body)
