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There are many many people - male and female - who either do not enjoy the act of sex or do not have the drive to engage in it.
But let's be honest here. It's far more common among females. I know that a lot of females, for some reason, like to say that women are just as of sexual creatures as men are, and surely this is true of some women, but in the aggregate this is simply not true. Do you know how many women consider themselves asexual, compared to how many men do?
"Alfred Kinsey, the father of sexology, was aware of an asexual element in the population but did little to investigate it. His Kinsey scale of sexual orientation consisted of a single axis lying between heterosexuality and homosexuality with bisexuality in between, and thus left no place for asexuality. In the Kinsey Reports of 1948 and 1953, subjects were scaled from "0" (completely heterosexual) to "6" (completely homosexual), but a separate category of "X" was created for those with "no socio-sexual contacts or reactions."[SIZE=2][1][/SIZE][SIZE=2][1][/SIZE] He labeled 1.5% of the adult male population as "X"
In "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female," he further explained the category as people who "do not respond erotically to either heterosexual or homosexual stimuli, and do not have overt physical encounter with individuals of either sex in which there is evidence of any response.” The following percentages of the population assigned “X:” Unmarried females=14-19%. Married females= 1-3%. Previously married females=5-8%. Unmarried males=3-4%. Married males=0%. Previously married males=1-2%.[SIZE=2][1][/SIZE] "
If you and your partner are happy with things as they are, there is no problem. Your situation is not unusual and as long as it doesn't cause problems with you or your partner, enjoy life as you know it, now.
But let's be honest here. It's far more common among females. I know that a lot of females, for some reason, like to say that women are just as of sexual creatures as men are, and surely this is true of some women, but in the aggregate this is simply not true.
I'm sorry that your experiences have led you to this very mistaken impression.
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Do you know how many women consider themselves asexual, compared to how many men do?
I thought it was a lot more MEN than women. Is that wrong? Maybe the men are just more vocal?
@ascension:
I don't think you can compare Kinsey's stats from women's self-reported sexuality before the sexual revolution to now.
Of course I agree that there may be something medical going on. I just figure that does not need to be repeated over and over, and we can talk about other aspects .
Of course I agree that there may be something medical going on. I just figure that does not need to be repeated over and over, and we can talk about other aspects .
Agreed. The difference is that you were correctly looking at other aspects of sexuality and sexual self-awareness that should be explored before jumping to the medical conclusion, while others were skipping right over that. The odds of it being a medical issue with a 25-year-old as opposed to a psychological, relationsal, or sex education issue are slim.
I think you're completely normal. The only advice I'd give is to be completely honest with this or any boyfriend, or future husband about your lack of enthusiasm for sex.
Sigh..I'm the same way, and while I went through a few years in my early 20's when my drive was slightly better, it plummeted after having my son and is now basically non-existent. I have no idea why. I never had a strong interest in sex, even as a teen. I don't get turned on by the male body or by any sexual imagery. I have no pain, and I can have orgasms - but I just don't care for it! It's like a waste of time to me - I'd much rather read a book or get a massage, or sleep. And the orgasm is only physical - as in, I can get turned on 'mechanically', but it's never mental, and before I get to that point I actually dislike being touched. I'd prefer 'quickie' intercourse, but DH likes to take close to an hour every time, and it's just...boring to me. I've had check ups and I'm completely healthy, I guess it's just the way I was born. I really wish I wasn't like that, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's sad.
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