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I know! It's insane!!! Unfortunately we don't have peak times. If we did, everyone would run their washers and dryers at the same time lol. My mom had to be on an oxygen machine 24/7 so that machine ran up a good portion of the bill. Then when summer rolled around he would have the air conditioner going. They were both home all day so sometimes 2 tv's would be on or one would be on all day. I live only a few miles away from him but I'm out of the city line. My electric is much, much less than his.
Our bill used to be higher before they started the peak billing. Everyone threw a hissy fit when it was brought in. But the people that complain the loudest haven't changed their usage. Our old dishwasher is from the 90's and it has a timer built in. The washer and dryer, we installed timers on. It's worked well for me. We had peak billing most places I lived growing up. I just use all the old habits I had growing up. 1 tv, unplug everything when it's not in use, don't blast AC or heat (dress cool in summer and warm in winter), turn off light when I leave the room or have a motion detector. All good stuff.
OP - stop bailing out your brother. He clearly isn't learning the lesson. Offer to pay a smaller amount (maybe a few hundred) to the electric company for him and warn him to pay it back or you won't help him at all next time. Don't ever give him money directly.
I've been in the position where I wasn't earning enough to cover my bills. It really sucked. But I didn't lay the problem at someone else's feet. I dealt with it myself. He shouldn't be doing this to you.
He sent the bill and it is for about 11 months of power along with a number of penalties. He managed to talk them out of cutting the power for a few months even after being seriously delinquent. Then Fall came and the law would not let them cut off the power because of a cold weather law. Once it turned warm again in the late spring they cut off his power, now they need the money to turn it back on.
I looked at the actual bill, it looks legitimate.
Keep the ideas coming.
What is your brother doing to solve the situation, apart from asking others for money?
As Dr. Phil says, "You don't solve money problems with money", meaning giving him the money might restore the power, but it doesn't solve the root issue of how it came to be that he owed this money.
Honestly, I'd hate to see them being without power, but at the same time, if he's not helping himself, I wouldn't enable him to do so. And $3,500 is a lot of money to give away from your household, never to be seen again.
On some other boards I talk about a request from my brother to bail him out financially so his power can be turned back on. He owes about $3500.
My spouse and I were talking about the pros and cons of sending him the money so his kids don't have to live in a house without electricity. (I don't feel sorry for him just his wife and three kids)
My husband is against sending him the money and said that most couples would have to agree to take money out of their joint checking account to go to an expensive over $1000 that did not help both of them. I told him that was an interesting idea and I would ask around.
So I am asking.
Could (would) you pull $3500 out of a joint bank account to help family if your spouse was against it?
* We both have some personal money in individual accounts but not that much. We share finances and pay all bills out of a shared bank account.
Could (would) you pull $3500 out of a joint bank account to help family if your spouse was against it?
Could I? Sure. Would I? No.
Big money decisions like this need to be discussed between spouses before action is taken. It's just common courtesy and respectful of your partner.
If you really want to help your brother, and your husband agrees, contact his electric company directly to pay the bill, don't give your brother the money.
Then, pay the course fee for him to attend a financial workshop like Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.
Its either im missing something in this thread, or i simply disagree with most posters here. Isnt your brother, your husbands family as well? He wants you to use your own funds but not the funds from the joint account? I am really against keeping your finances seperate for many, many reasons. Does your husband not care that you feel like you need to help your brother out? If your husband earns substantialy more than you, and keeps his own money, and you go on vacation, does he stay at the 5 star resort, while you stay ion a $20 cabana with bugs, because you have less money? How would your husband feel, if your brother won 100 million in a lottery, and decided to give you a couple of million, with one condition, that your husband cannot benefit from a penny of it? ITs either you are a family or youre not.
Its either im missing something in this thread, or i simply disagree with most posters here. Isnt your brother, your husbands family as well? He wants you to use your own funds but not the funds from the joint account? I am really against keeping your finances seperate for many, many reasons. Does your husband not care that you feel like you need to help your brother out? If your husband earns substantialy more than you, and keeps his own money, and you go on vacation, does he stay at the 5 star resort, while you stay ion a $20 cabana with bugs, because you have less money? How would your husband feel, if your brother won 100 million in a lottery, and decided to give you a couple of million, with one condition, that your husband cannot benefit from a penny of it? ITs either you are a family or youre not.
Bailing someone out when they have a pattern of making bad financial decisions is not really helping them - it is enabling them.
Like the saying goes, give a man a fish and he eats for a day - TEACH a man to fish and he feeds himself for life.
Bailing someone out when they have a pattern of making bad financial decisions is not really helping them - it is enabling them.
Like the saying goes, give a man a fish and he eats for a day - TEACH a man to fish and he feeds himself for life.
Our OP's husband likely understands this.
Thats a whole different issue, and i dont disagree with you but i didnt clearly get that from the OP. Perhaps its my misunderstanding. I certainly would not give my brother money, but instead paid directly to the electric company, and a minimum amount after negotiation and explaining the situation. Id also address this with my brother for sure, but this still doesnt address the fact that OPs husband is being selfish and greedy. Not sure what his motivations are so thats my assumption. I guess what i msaying is that a stance "oh, thats not my brother but yours, so if you want to help him do it from your own funds" does not sit well with me.
Its either im missing something in this thread, or i simply disagree with most posters here. Isnt your brother, your husbands family as well? He wants you to use your own funds but not the funds from the joint account? I am really against keeping your finances seperate for many, many reasons. Does your husband not care that you feel like you need to help your brother out? If your husband earns substantialy more than you, and keeps his own money, and you go on vacation, does he stay at the 5 star resort, while you stay ion a $20 cabana with bugs, because you have less money? How would your husband feel, if your brother won 100 million in a lottery, and decided to give you a couple of million, with one condition, that your husband cannot benefit from a penny of it? ITs either you are a family or youre not.
You're missing the principle of it. Yes, family should help each other out, but when a person has a history of not paying their bills and they expect or rely on other's to clean up their mess, there comes a time you have to say "NO". I don't know if the OP's brother has a history but I can tell you myself that my SIL has that history. I won't go into details on the why's, but she has always expected someone to fix it for her, ranging from her ex husband to my inlaws to her brothers. Enough is enough. We put ourselves in a position to take money out to help her and ended up struggling. Don't have money? Go get 3 jobs if needed. I know it sounds harsh but sometimes it's the only way to get someone to understand.
Thats a whole different issue, and i dont disagree with you but i didnt clearly get that from the OP. Perhaps its my misunderstanding. I certainly would not give my brother money, but instead paid directly to the electric company, and a minimum amount after negotiation and explaining the situation. Id also address this with my brother for sure, but this still doesnt address the fact that OPs husband is being selfish and greedy. Not sure what his motivations are so thats my assumption. I guess what i msaying is that a stance "oh, thats not my brother but yours, so if you want to help him do it from your own funds" does not sit well with me.
Did I miss that somewhere in the thread? In her OP she only states that her husband is against it (doesn't say why) and said that her husband said it should be discussed before just sending him the money. You're assuming that's what he feels but we don't know the actual reason.
Thats a whole different issue, and i dont disagree with you but i didnt clearly get that from the OP. Perhaps its my misunderstanding. I certainly would not give my brother money, but instead paid directly to the electric company, and a minimum amount after negotiation and explaining the situation. Id also address this with my brother for sure, but this still doesnt address the fact that OPs husband is being selfish and greedy. Not sure what his motivations are so thats my assumption. I guess what i msaying is that a stance "oh, thats not my brother but yours, so if you want to help him do it from your own funds" does not sit well with me.
I would not call the OP's husband "selfish" at all!
They have all but small amounts of their money in a joint acct.
This joint acct covers THEIR living expenses, their bills.
Perhaps this is a long time problem the brother has and the husband no longer feels as though the brothers failure to plan constitutes an emergency on the part of the sister's family.
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