I don't know if she loves me or not!!!!! (date, girlfriend, marriage)

[Valfar]

Greets folks,

Here is the ful story:

Well, I'm in love (infatuation) with a Japanese woman I met in Tokyo. We met one night and had a really pleasant times together. Although it was our first time to meet, it felt like we got into eachother too much and too deep, that the friend she brought alone with her couldn't really participate much in our conversations.

She was willing to talk the whole night but I was tired and eventually asked to leave. On the way back to the subway, she just started to compliment me. She even said that she got surprised that I was a guy way above her expectations.

She promised me to keep contact from now on. And indeed, after I came back to Osaka, she started to contact me everyday, and sending me photos of flowers, sunsets, ect... then she asked me later on if I have a girlfriend..

After 2 weeks of intense messaging, I started to reply a bit tardy. And once she told me whenever I take time to reply to her, she gets worried about me and she feels greatful and happt when she knows I'm good.

Anyways, We started to contact once a week. And then I asked her it's better for us both to talk everyday. She agreed, and she said that she wants that as well.

Then one day, I told her I was sick and I'm having pain again in the left side of body (she knows I have this problem). Later on, she messaged back late at night and she really did surprise me by saying: I suffer your pain, I will pray for you this night so you get better and sleep well.

I thought that was too strong. I was baffled. I didn't know what to say. But a fellow friend that lives also in Osaka told me to write her my feelings, since what she said was really meaningful and romantic. And so I did. Wrote her lines and lines... it was too big and too deep (I even regretted writing her all that).
Anyways, she couldn't response to what I said. She didn't reply to me in 3/4 days. Until I wrote her and told her sorry about the strongs romantic lines that I wrote you. Then she said, it takes time for me to reply to something as big as I said.

Then, we had a chat that night, and I told her I'm coming to see you next June (this month) and I want to meet you at the early morning in order to spend with you the whole day. I told her I want to have the greatest day with you and I want to enjoy my times with you. She was pleasantly surprised and she told me that she is so happy that I'll come to see her. And she agreed to meet at 10 am and in front of Tokyo Tower and also wanted to spend the full day with me.

Till now, everything goes well, but a blow came off nowhere when she started to show an attitude that I didn't like. First off, she said, I'm glad we could get to this nice friendship. Then, I asked her, if you have somebody in your life? She did take a while to reply and eventually said: It's so complicated. I'm sorry if I was incensible to you. But I know somebody that is religious and so close to me and at the same time very far from me.

And so, I was disappointed. I couldn't believe it. Especially from the attitude and the hints she was giving all the time in the past. I'd swear she just can't have somebody else. Then I decided to close the convo with this line: When you feel yourself you can have only one person that you can love purely, then come and I'll treat you like a princess because I do love you so much and you don't have to ask why.

One week elapses, I started indeed to forget about her and I was getting ready to close her page. Then she writes me again. Telling me that she is sorry for not replying to my emotions and she needs time and only time to reply to what I say. She sends me a really beautiful rose and tells me I did take this photo for you, I hope you'll like it.

I tried to act like I don't care about her anymore, but when I didn't reply to her in two days, she wrote me again:
Juri, are you ok? Please tell me simply. I get so worried about you.

And so for me, I'm confused. Her words are definitely not a sign of a simple friendship. And at the same time I have no clue if she loves me or not, after what she said earlier. The girl is so vague. Maybe she wants something with me in future and is trying to play it slow?

PS: She is a professional accountant and she is indeed very beautiful and charming. She is 24 and I'm older than her by one year. She is the type I was looking for and I don't wanna lose her.


Thanks alot for reading thus far. I'd appreciate so much your feedback guys.

[intelfan11315]

... weird

[ellie]

I think you're being played. No one in their right mind get so wrapped up with someone, especially if they are also involved with someone else.

Are you Japanese or another nationality?

[Atai J.]

You are fall in love. Wait a time to be sure if you really love her so she loves you.
P.S. Yuri, are you Юрий?

[akck]

Is it possible that she has an arranged marriage in the works by her family? That could explain some of her behavior. The answer to ellie's question could determine if you have a future together.

[Ruth4Truth]

I think you need to have a talk with her in person, and find out where you stand.

[Valfar]

Nah, I'm not Japanese. I'm Canadian.

Being played? How is that? Why she would do that anyways? I don't see any reason for her to play with me.

She is going to call me this weekend, and I don't wanna bring any of this crap up to the table.

By the way, we talk in French. And so that's another thing in common.

Arranged marriage? Haha, no way. I don't think she has anything of that. But I'd like to grab her in the future. But I think in order to do that, I should slow it down?!!

No, I'm not Юрий.

Thanks for your feedback guys.

[Coolhand68]

She's probably just as confused as you are. You need to call her and have an actual conversation about what each of you want from this.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Valfar

Nah, I'm not Japanese. I'm Canadian.

Being played? How is that? Why she would do that anyways? I don't see any reason for her to play with me.

She is going to call me this weekend, and I don't wanna bring any of this crap up to the table.

By the way, we talk in French. And so that's another thing in common.

Arranged marriage? Haha, no way. I don't think she has anything of that. But I'd like to grab her in the future. But I think in order to do that, I should slow it down?!!

No, I'm not Юрий.

Thanks for your feedback guys.

I think she's been talking to you because you could provide her with a way to get out of her country. Plus, I think I've read someplace that Japanese women are having a hard time finding partners in their own country. So, she's attached herself to you as a possible way to change her life while she's secretly engaged to an old troll who paid a lot of money for the privilege.

[Valfar]

Originally Posted by ellie

I think she's been talking to you because you could provide her with a way to get out of her country. Plus, I think I've read someplace that Japanese women are having a hard time finding partners in their own country. So, she's attached herself to you as a possible way to change her life while she's secretly engaged to an old troll who paid a lot of money for the privilege.

Please, tell me, who wants to leave this heaven? Japan? No way. I don't think she has intentions to leave the country.
And also, she knows that I don't wanna leave anywhere else than Japan. I also told her that I wanna marry a Japanese woman and die here. Although I'm not her first foreinger guy. She meets many of them. French, Italians..!

Well, I don't think she is the type that needs money. She gets paid well and she still lives with her parents. So? I bought her few french books from Canada and they just arrived. I want to send them to her by mail and now I'm not sure if she would really give me her address. I'm wondering if I could be direct and ask her to give me her mailing address or maybe just give her hints like (I got a gift for you and I want to give it to you, what should we do?) kind of question. So then she suggests how exactly I can give them to her.

Well, I was supposed to go this week to Tokyo, and basically we were supposed to have that date tomorrow. But anyways, I cancelled the trip 3 weeks ago as I wasn't really certain about her yet, and also because my job. I'm also hesitant to go to see her in August. I have a week break though. I'm confused really .

The thing is, she is super super super beautiful. My exact type. And also she is very charming and has great sense of fashion. Professional and she makes money. I wouldn't dream for a better woman. Now, after I knew her and fell in love with her, I can't stand seeing her with another person. I'm already feeling like crap. Nobody really believes that she is straight with me or maybe there could be a chance with her in the future.

I myself believe, for a woman like her, it's easy to jump from a man to man since she has everything. Maybe I'm just another one that she will use for a short period.... (And I don't want that).

I don't know. I'm thinking to cut contact with her for good. So I can protect myself from that pain and try to forget her.