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Only if you have such a lack of imagination that you equate gifts and dates with something you need to spend a lot of money on. Seems to me that being in a relationship offers even more opportunity to stay home and cook for each other, watch movies, or just sit out on the porch and watch the stars/fireflies and talk.
As far as gifts, I don't mean giving gifts all the time to her, but if he/she comes from a large family or is tight with a group of friends, more money to spend. Perfect example is Father's Day this Sunday. If you have been dating the same person for a long time I'd expect you would chip in a gift or lunch/dinner/ on her side as well. Or what about any of her family's bday or close friends you are invited too as well? Are you going to cancel tagging along to save money?
Or you could always end up finding an introvert or person with no family too.
As for the topic question, sure its possible, but most women in this position ten to proceed with caution to these guys, or just dont consider it at all, because there is an interesting dynamic that is unspoken of, of children living at home....
I've noticed that there are more and more kids living at home longer, or returning back to their parents home after time away, today than there were in years past. All of the sociological reasons are correct from the surface, ie we are maturing at a slower rate than our predecessors because we were spoiled more, we were'nt as physically active, did not start working as early, etc; and our parents and school systems helped create this....
I'm 24, and moved back to my parents home in NC from NY last October, at 23, and the people that I've met that have similar circumstances since I've been back....a guy who's 27 and lives with his aunt, and has never lived on his own...a girl who is 24/25 who has lived on her own two seperate occasions, but both were with guys and didnt work out, now she's back with mom...a 24 yr old girl who had her own apartment before and is actually juggling three jobs right now, but is back at home...another 24 yr old girl who lives with her mother, and has jumped from her mom's to her dad's house her whole life, never lived alone...not to mention, I have a 25 yr old brother who has never left my parents house except to stay on the campus a mile away for about a year, and a 26 yr old cousin who has been living with my grandma since he was 19, and went there from his mother's house...this list can drag on, so I'll cut it here...
For a person whose never left home, there is a problem, and if this is the case of the OP, women are right to be questionable. In those type of people's situation, there are often the same reason they've never left: they are afraid to try the world on their own. I'm trying not to sound snooty, because the other side of that will say those of us who left and came back made decisions that caused us to fail, so maybe we should have been afraid . But the ones who never leave home seem to be the laziest and the one's with the least ambition. I'm speaking from a close survey of my peers on this one....
Now, I also don't fault the women/men who are cautious towards the one's who left and came back. There is a persistence that we haven't quite matured, because I will say all the one's I know in this situation, myself included, made some terrible decisions, hence where we are now. And as a dating prospect, you wonder whether this person is worth the effort, even if you are attracted to them...
That said, you have to take each peron on a case-by-case basis. This person lives at home, but as some of you other posters pointed out, what is this person doing with themselves right now? What are thier goals? Each situation is a little bit different, and broadbrushing can cause you to potentially miss out on something special, even if only a strong friendship...I'm not sure how I'd feel dating women who still are at home if I had my own place. When I had my own apartments (I've had 3), I had a girlfriend who had her own house, so I never really thought about it. Now, I'd say my initial instinct is to say I wouldn't do it, because there is often some growing up that person hasn't conquered yet. But I would consider it, most likely, depending on the type of girl she is otherwise. Both the 24 yr old girls I listed who were gone at one point but are back now, they are awesome chicks, great friends, and lookers too. They will make some guy happy one day. But maybe I'd see them differently if I wasn't in a similar situation, on the other side of the coin, so I don't know...
Also, this is not uncommon. I dont even know if I would trust a statistic on the accuracy, but there are a LOT of twenty-somethings at home. I'd say probably as many of a quarter of the population, and there is a rapport, a certain kind of unforced kinship, between us. That said, I cant wait to be gone, but I am being much more meticulous in my planning than I was before, because the goal is to leave and not have to come back....
To the OP, I hope this helps. Listen to these others who are telling you to screw dating and focus on YOU! It can suck, because every guy/girl needs their fix sometimes, and we all want to find love, but dating costs money and has a way of getting in the way of plans, especially if you really hit it off with someone. It's easier said than done, and believe me, I fight this struggle currently, but you have to rationalize and prioritize properly...
To the OP, I hope this helps. Listen to these others who are telling you to screw dating and focus on YOU! It can suck, because every guy/girl needs their fix sometimes, and we all want to find love, but dating costs money and has a way of getting in the way of plans, especially if you really hit it off with someone. It's easier said than done, and believe me, I fight this struggle currently, but you have to rationalize and prioritize properly...
You made an excellent post. Damn right dating costs money, I just don't see why some people can't comprehand that.
As far as gifts, I don't mean giving gifts all the time to her, but if he/she comes from a large family or is tight with a group of friends, more money to spend. Perfect example is Father's Day this Sunday. If you have been dating the same person for a long time I'd expect you would chip in a gift or lunch/dinner/ on her side as well. Or what about any of her family's bday or close friends you are invited too as well? Are you going to cancel tagging along to save money?
Or you could always end up finding an introvert or person with no family too.
Why would you be obligated to buy her family gifts or chip in? It's not like your married to the person. But of course if you choose to do so out of a sense of generosity, that's fine.
Why would you be obligated to buy her family gifts or chip in? It's not like your married to the person. But of course if you choose to do so out of a sense of generosity, that's fine.
I know. A card is plenty! I have never given a father's day gift to someone else's father, not even my husband!
It's not about living at home. It's about the fact both women and men will perceive someone who is living at home as broke. Whether they're broke or not in reality doesn't matter. It's the fact most people will, and that being able to provide in the relationship at least equally is on the mind of most Americans.
I'm 24. I live and have lived on my own for a long time not because I want to, but because I don't have any family to help me.
Why would you be obligated to buy her family gifts or chip in? It's not like your married to the person. But of course if you choose to do so out of a sense of generosity, that's fine.
This sounds like people just looking for excuses to give away their hard-earned money. No gifts are necessary, especially for family members. That's ridiculous. Dating does not have to cost much money, if any at all.
This sounds like people just looking for excuses to give away their hard-earned money. No gifts are necessary, especially for family members. That's ridiculous. Dating does not have to cost much money, if any at all.
A small cup of coffee costs about $5-6 in Denmark. But it's worth it!
Nothing shameful about being family orientated and live with family...It is much better than sharing a place with so-called friends...If you are to share a place you either share with a family member- be it a daughter or a son or a brother etc...NEVER share your home with "friends".......the only other living arrangement that is acceptable is to move in with a girl friend or boy friend...or marry - what ever the case...
If a woman has her own place that is a plus...Treat it with respect...maybe when you are their - do the dishes and get comfortable...There have been a few situations where I have moved into a woman's home...it worked out well...Good woman don't care where you live or what you have- They care about who you ARE and your conduct...Not all of us can have the same resources...When I was pretty young ...I was invited to live with this fine woman..There were a lot of perks...She drove a cool red convertable - Her last boy friend had left his very fine wardrobe behind and everything fit perfectly....She would drive me around to musical gigs and help me book them....As long as the male is doing something and following a dream or career most woman are not against helping out - but- if you are a lay about...and are messy and disrespect her home....out the door you go.
I lived with my parents till I was 26. I grew up on Long Island which is very expensive for young adults starting out. It didn't affect my dating life, and I turned out (relatively) well-adjusted.
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. But the ones who never leave home seem to be the laziest and the one's with the least ambition. I'm speaking from a close survey of my peers on this one....
They will make some guy happy one day. But maybe I'd see them differently if I wasn't in a similar situation, on the other side of the coin, so I don't know...
