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I think I just need to talk through this, but would appreciate any insightful/honest comments if you have them. I'm 23, a girl, and I've never done anything remotely sexual with a guy yet. Not to say that I haven't had the opportunity, but I just don't roll like that and haven't been in a relationship serious enough to the point of getting physical. Nope, never even kissed a guy.
There's this friend - I've been friends with him for 5+ years. I've always liked him, but he's sort of a play boy (I know, I know...) and he's always refused to start anything with me because he knows what he's like and he doesn't want to "cheapen" our relationship. I understood and we've definitely been through our ups and downs, but hes the closest guy friend I have. He totally gets me and even though there's always a sexual undertone, he's been respectful etc.
He's visiting for 2 days starting tomorrow. He said that if I wanted to, we could get a little physical. I am ready for it. At the same time though, I'm beginning to think what he said at the start of our relationship was true (well, I know it was) and that I should tell him no because he was right, that it would be a first for me but just a number for him. Neither of us want to date seriously right now -- so this would pretty much be a FWB situation. There's no way I would sleep with him, but I'm trying to decide what I should do if he does attempt to kiss me. Because I do want to kiss him, and I feel like at this point I should let go a little bit and experience it.
I would like to know why so many virgins feel the need to announce that they are a virgin?
Doing so just puts others focus on your virginity (where it should not be).
Suddenly, you get people who become obsessed with taking your virginity, but not you. And, yes, some will be very very patient, especially if they are seeing other people at the same time.
It's best to keep that quiet until right before you do the deed.
If you don't want to be physical with him, be clear about the boundaries. And then stick to your guns.
Doing anything with him WILL change the current friendship you have with him. Be prepared and don't be surprised if you do go down that slippery slope.
I am with srjth on this ...
.... If a guy knows you're a virgin, you just gave him a goal. Don't sell yourself out like that.
no one can answer this but you,,,,,you arent 15, so you can do as you damn well please,,,and if that means letting your guard down, and trying something new,,,,thats totally up to you..
the advantage of this guy with experimenting, is that you already trust him,,,and he will be totally considerate and patient.
no one can answer this but you,,,,,you arent 15, so you can do as you damn well please,,,and if that means letting your guard down, and trying something new,,,,thats totally up to you..
the advantage of this guy with experimenting, is that you already trust him,,,and he will be totally considerate and patient.
I agree with this.
I mean, at some point you will want to explore this. I do think it's better with a trusted friend. You are going to weird yourself out about it to the point that you can't do anything even when you really really want to.
Just let your guard down and flirt a lot, and have some fun. Decide in advance what your boundaries are, and tell him, but don't be surprised if that all goes out the window once you begin "experimenting."
BTW, how did this conversation go where he "mentioned you could get physical" when he visits?
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thedayisbrave
I think I just need to talk through this, but would appreciate any insightful/honest comments if you have them. I'm 23, a girl, and I've never done anything remotely sexual with a guy yet. Not to say that I haven't had the opportunity, but I just don't roll like that and haven't been in a relationship serious enough to the point of getting physical. Nope, never even kissed a guy.
There's this friend - I've been friends with him for 5+ years. I've always liked him, but he's sort of a play boy (I know, I know...) and he's always refused to start anything with me because he knows what he's like and he doesn't want to "cheapen" our relationship. I understood and we've definitely been through our ups and downs, but hes the closest guy friend I have. He totally gets me and even though there's always a sexual undertone, he's been respectful etc.
He's visiting for 2 days starting tomorrow. He said that if I wanted to, we could get a little physical. I am ready for it. At the same time though, I'm beginning to think what he said at the start of our relationship was true (well, I know it was) and that I should tell him no because he was right, that it would be a first for me but just a number for him. Neither of us want to date seriously right now -- so this would pretty much be a FWB situation. There's no way I would sleep with him, but I'm trying to decide what I should do if he does attempt to kiss me. Because I do want to kiss him, and I feel like at this point I should let go a little bit and experience it.
Anyway...
What were his exact words. No man says, "I'm coming for two days, and if you want to, we could get a little physical." Wait, maybe there is some idiot that might say that. There is no woman to whom that phrase would make her excited. Well maybe a few, but that is a serious weird choice of words.
WTF is "A little physical?" Is that foreplay? Is that him in an M. Bison suit and you as Chun Li?
Haha, you guys are too much! I paraphrased him a bit, didn't want to get into all the details. Anyway, we always text/joke sexually so it's pretty much always there. But no, he didn't say "get physical" - I did - but that is the gist of what he said. I believe his exact words might have been "I know we've been texting sexually or whatever but if you want to, we could do something".
You both need to be clear about your intentions, and if they are really, honestly the same, then act accordingly.
But if you know he's a player and he's been giving you the old, "I don't want to cheapen our friendship...." line, then remember that when you do get physical.
Don't let your expectations get the best of you.
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