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I've been reading you're posts for a few yrs now, you strike me a smart, well put together woman, you seem like a bright lady.
That being said, you also come across as very intense and over analytical at times, not trying to critical of you, and to be honest, I have the exact same personality type, it's why I notice it in you... you want direct technical answers to things that don't always have the most logical direct technical answers, you most likely score as an INTJ on the Meyers Briggs personality test.
I say this only to help, I think you and many others should stop over-thinking things so much and just go with the flow of things.......
I mean this to help and am not being critical or mean to you.. I hope you see this...
I score as INFP, but I agree with you on your observations though. I am intense & overly analytical internally. I am also bad with many social cues others pick up readily. I am far too cerebral at times.
But I have a sort of go-with-the-flow demeanor in person as far as NOT wanting a technical control over everything. I think I get this way when things are not happening "naturally" and I become impatient. Then I suddenly want to control how things unfold because I fear life is passing me by.
I don't know the middle between making things happen and just waiting for stuff to happen. I seem to try and force it or passively sit by.
I've always had a problem approaching women. Its a rejection thing. So all my girlfriends, or most, have been introduced to me through mutual friends or family member. I did meet my ex-wife online, and that was the best relationship I ever had. I just would love it if a woman saw me in a grocery store and said hello. I think I'd freeze because it would be such a shock. Women don't even say hello in random situations like that. I'd definitely pursue if I could compose myself, lol.
As for other signs, which I always fail to capitalize on, but most guys don't: Smile at the guy, face him if he talks to you (don't turn your back away or mess with your phone), make eye contact, touch his arm. These are so simple, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've felt it was obvious a woman was into me and to pursue her. OK, maybe both hands, but it is still rare. Now that I'm in a new city, I'm always looking, or at least aware because I really don't like it here, but I think meeting someone would change that for me.
It doesn't seem like many men do ANY of the "work".
I don't want to know how to approach a guy. I want to know what motivates a guy to approach.
Do you wait until you've been thrown a smile or some other obvious visual signal?
What makes you deem a woman "stuck up" based on her appearance?
Ah, gotcha. Just a warm smile. I think a woman is stuck up based on the expression on her face or way too much makeup (high maintenance). If you can dress down and still look good (ie: baseball cap with ponytail through it), the men will fall over themselves. I would' at least. It takes a lot for me since I fear rejection, but eye contact and smiling are the best ways. Makes you look approachable.
I've been reading you're posts for a few yrs now, you strike me a smart, well put together woman, you seem like a bright lady.
That being said, you also come across as very intense and over analytical at times, not trying to critical of you, and to be honest, I have the exact same personality type, it's why I notice it in you... you want direct technical answers to things that don't always have the most logical direct technical answers, you most likely score as an INTJ on the Meyers Briggs personality test.
I say this only to help, I think you and many others should stop over-thinking things so much and just go with the flow of things.......
I mean this to help and am not being critical or mean to you.. I hope you see this...
I have the same issues. As an ISTJ (Myers Briggs) I over analyze everything, and wait too long, thus missing my shot. I wish I could relax and go with the flow. Alcohol seems to be the only way for me to do that though
What kinds of situations are you more likely to initiate romantic interest/approach a woman?
Does she have to send some signal of interest first? If so, what kind of signals do you pick up on? How clear do you need to be on her possible interest to express yours?
What makes the difference between a woman you admire from afar or even close-up vs one you actually pursue?
What might deter you from approaching a woman you find attractive in some way?
Are you more likely to approach someone you've just met, OR initiate romantic interest with an acquaintance or friend after getting to know them a bit, OR something else entirely?
How do you go about approaching women or expressing romantic interest in them? What are your moves? How direct or indirect are you? What signals do you send?
If she appears the game playing bitchy type then I pass. She doesn't have to send a signal first though that doesn't hurt. I'll only pursue local or one who clearly shares my interests. I'll deter if she appears to busy in her life. I'm up front, I don't deny signals, though I don't make fast bold moves neither. I'm much more comfortable if its obvious to both of us about moving onto the next level, or staying friends.
If she appears the game playing bitchy type then I pass. She doesn't have to send a signal first though that doesn't hurt. I'll only pursue local or one who clearly shares my interests. I'll deter if she appears to busy in her life. I'm up front, I don't deny signals, though I don't make fast bold moves neither. I'm much more comfortable if its obvious to both of us about moving onto the next level, or staying friends.
Once you know she's local or what her interests are, you've already approached and had a couple of conversations with her. What would motivate you to approach in the first place?
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