Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-19-2013, 04:05 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,539,444 times
Reputation: 9174

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
There is this guy who is interested in me. But. His most recent wife (he's been married twice and he's in his thirties) separated from him because she said she was in an "unhealthy marriage". She was a stay-at-home-mom at the time, and she was trying to get away from him by starting her own business so that she could support herself and their daughter. After all that, they then got back together, but ultimately divorced a couple of years later.

I don't know this ex-wife personally, so I don't have a way of clarifying what she meant by "unhealthy marriage", aside from asking him directly.

Going on this information alone, would you continue to let this guy pursue you? Or would this be enough of a red flag to make you run?
I'd ask him directly. To me, any man I date is a potential partner. Now, he probably won't be honest if he was the problem or if he was abusive, unless he really believes that he was right to do whatever it was that wrecked the marriage (and there are plenty of those out there). But you can sometimes pick up on it.

Where did you get the idea that she was "trying to get away from him" by starting her own business? Lots of women do this, even in healthy relationships.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-19-2013, 05:04 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,844,307 times
Reputation: 2831
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I'd ask him directly. To me, any man I date is a potential partner. Now, he probably won't be honest if he was the problem or if he was abusive, unless he really believes that he was right to do whatever it was that wrecked the marriage (and there are plenty of those out there). But you can sometimes pick up on it.

Where did you get the idea that she was "trying to get away from him" by starting her own business? Lots of women do this, even in healthy relationships.
It's not an idea, it's a fact. Their mutual friend confided this information to me. Starting the business was for the purpose of leaving him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2013, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Seattle
7 posts, read 11,093 times
Reputation: 12
I always say, listen to you intuition. If you feel as though something is not right, go with your gut.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2013, 09:53 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,844,307 times
Reputation: 2831
Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanLvr13 View Post
I always say, listen to you intuition. If you feel as though something is not right, go with your gut.
I'm a big proponent of intuition as well. And honestly, my gut does say something is off here. So that's why I'm taking a big step back and not letting this take off.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2013, 09:59 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,984,452 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
It's not an idea, it's a fact. Their mutual friend confided this information to me. Starting the business was for the purpose of leaving him.
Her starting the business for the purpose of leaving him doesn't automatically make this third party's information correct. People are very rarely 100% impartial, we're just not built that way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2013, 10:09 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,844,307 times
Reputation: 2831
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Her starting the business for the purpose of leaving him doesn't automatically make this third party's information correct. People are very rarely 100% impartial, we're just not built that way.
You're going to have to trust me on this one. I can't reveal specifics here because I'm not trying to out myself. But it's the truth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2013, 10:47 PM
 
Location: AZ
342 posts, read 437,832 times
Reputation: 496
Do you like the guy?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2013, 10:53 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,844,307 times
Reputation: 2831
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquamarin View Post
Do you like the guy?
I do like him. But I also have a tendency to be drawn to obsessive, perfectionistic guys who aren't at peace within themselves...guys who haven't done the personal growth that they need to do, enough to understand the role they play in creating the issues in their lives.

I get the sense he is one of those guys. He has money, he is good-looking...but I sense impulsiveness there, like he's a "I want what I want when I want it" type. He's driven and successful, which is good, but I want to step back to get a better sense of what his character is really like.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-20-2013, 01:00 AM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,788,709 times
Reputation: 15643
Smart lady
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-20-2013, 01:01 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,844,307 times
Reputation: 2831
Thanks Stepka
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:35 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top