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Very, very good question! For some people/couples it doesn't take years to figure out "this just isn't working", but for others it can take entirely tooooooo long.
What does it take before it is "finally" time to call it quits? What do you do when your spouse refuses to get help (marriage counceling)? What happens when your spouse spends a lot of hours at work and he/she doesn't have to? What happens when your spouse likes being married, but also wants to "act" single?
Just when is "enough is enough"????
It is time for a divorce when every thing they do bothers you. They way they walk, talk, eat, dress, the large pores on his nose, their breathing, etc. All the things you loved about them in the beginning start to irritate you to no end and all the things that you ignored in the beginning like the fact the they are a bit arrogant, selfish and cheap comes glaring at you with blinking lights!
Marriage is great, as long as: it's the right person, the right reasons and the right age.
This is my wife and mine third marriage, and the best!! We are so compatible in interests, age (me 57, her 58) and how we want/have our marriage go. We got married 5 years ago and it has been great. Oh, we have "spats" now and then, but we love each other 110% . She loves it when I act silly and joke around. We laugh, laugh, laugh. She loves my cooking (I cook 80% of the time).
Some couples marry wayyyyyyy to early in life and after 15-20 years, divorce happens.
Like I said, marriage "can be" great, but it does take work.
Marriage is great, as long as: it's the right person, the right reasons and the right age.
This is my wife and mine third marriage, and the best!! We are so compatible in interests, age (me 57, her 58) and how we want/have our marriage go. We got married 5 years ago and it has been great. Oh, we have "spats" now and then, but we love each other 110% . She loves it when I act silly and joke around. We laugh, laugh, laugh. She loves my cooking (I cook 80% of the time).
Some couples marry wayyyyyyy to early in life and after 15-20 years, divorce happens.
Like I said, marriage "can be" great, but it does take work.
Good point, the right person. My husband and I feel we have a GREAT marriage. Sunday is our 12 year anniversary. We were older also I was 39 and he was 46. He was and still is my best friend, I think staying friends is sooo important. and we laugh a LOT. Marriage is not always 50-50, sometimes it's 40-60, 70-30 and so on. This is my first and only marriage and my husbands 2nd (first wife died in car accident). He tells me almost everyday how glad he is to be married to me and thanks me for marrying him. I feel God has blessed me with the best husband in the world, some people don't believe me when I tell them how happy and in love we are. We have never even had a real argument.
I'm very glad and happy for people who get married and find true satisfaction and happiness. I just find it difficult to reconcile those who get married over and over while perfecting the art, as it were. It seems to me that when one gets married in Church and takes vows before God that he and she will remain faithful, true and cherish each other until death due them part, that they can't just divorce, remarry, and not be in adulterous relationships, regardless of the laws. Obviously a widow or widower is free to remarry, but I get disenchanted with those who get married, then get unhappy for whatever reason, and then divorce like it's a girlfriend/boyfriend breakup. Clearly an abusive spouse or one who commits adultery is grounds for a valid divorce. But because his pores are annoying? Because as you pass the years the old charm isn't there? It just seems to me there's a lot of selfishness involved that isn't recognized about me, me , me... And marriage isn't about me, it's about us.
My first husband and I did the marriage counseling and he attacked me in one of the sessions. To this day my over religious parents think that I should still be married to him, till death do you part. In all honesty I believe that if I had stayed with him I would be dead by his hands.
I think that religion has killed many a great woman do to the death do you part, and going to hell cuz you divorce and the committing adultry cuz you are divorced. My mother still to this day says that I have been committing adultry for these past 16 yrs. She also says that all my children ,cept the first, are *******s cuz they were conceived in sin cuz I divorced my first. I finally got tired of her and told her to stuff it.
Way to go, My3arabs!!!!!!! Some spouses who persist on always believing in that vow "til death do us part" sometimes really do wind up dead (killed). It it is a bad marriage and friends and therapists tell you "GET OUT", DO IT!!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting out of an abusive, alcolic or cheating type marriage......no matter what vows you have taken or what religion you are.
And, as far as people getting married more than once, what's wrong with that?? Just because a marriage winds up in divorce doesn't mean that you can't find (hopefully) the right person, marry and be happy.
My first husband and I did the marriage counseling and he attacked me in one of the sessions. To this day my over religious parents think that I should still be married to him, till death do you part. In all honesty I believe that if I had stayed with him I would be dead by his hands.
I think that religion has killed many a great woman do to the death do you part, and going to hell cuz you divorce and the committing adultry cuz you are divorced. My mother still to this day says that I have been committing adultry for these past 16 yrs. She also says that all my children ,cept the first, are *******s cuz they were conceived in sin cuz I divorced my first. I finally got tired of her and told her to stuff it.
I'm not religious, I don't even like that word. But I am a Christian and I want you to know I believe you did the right thing. Leaving a husband just because you don't like the way he puts the toliet paper on the roll is one thing, but no one shoulder EVER stay in an abusive relationship. The part of the marriage vows "what God has joined together", well God did not join you with that man. I don't believe your children were conceived in sin either. I say good for you!!!
The "vows before god" and "till death do us part" is out the window when children are involved. I am not religious. The childs up bringing is more important to me than what god would think. You should go to hell if you allow your child to have emotional, physical, or mental abuse done to them just because you were afraid to get out or you use the "vows under god" crap. Growing up in a bad enviroment will stick with the child long after you have died. I have seen what happens to kids from bad homes because growing up my Mother ran a shelter and foster home. Shelter home is when she would get the child from the police right from the bad home, drug bust, etc.. It is sick how some children are treated and neglected.
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