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I am sorry about my previous comments regarding your lack of confidence in approaching women.
Good luck to you in finding happiness in your romantic life.
Why be sorry ? I don't think you said anything offensive to me. In fact, I enjoyed the banter.
As I said, I'm laid back and stress free, at least in my online life, which is an escape from some of the everyday worries caused by siblings/parents, bills to pay, and work life ...
And here I thought I was bad coming up on 2 years. I'm not really satisfied but I am coping and somewhat happy.
Well, the difference is probably you've been trying at least a little bit and I haven't been trying at all. So you have more of a right to complain than I do. In fact, it's surprising how darn fast the past 11 years have gone. It's like I didn't even notice them go by. There was this librarian I said hi to once or twice a few years ago that I was thinking about asking out, but decided it wasn't worth the trouble. There's been nobody else I've even considered asking out in, I'd say, the last 7 years.
You are correct. I make very minimal attempt. Most aren't worth it and my trust level is very low.
I totally understand where you are coming from.
Just once I'd like to be asked out after meeting someone IRL on an actual date. I'm 58, spent 30+ years of my adult life single and unattached and that has never happened.
I think that quite a few people are either young or inexperienced and rely on a BF/GF to make their life worthwile. It goes sort of like this "Well, my life sucks now, but as soon as i find a BF/GF im sure ill be happy and content". THe problem with that line of thinking is that if you arent already content with your life, happy with yourself and passionate about your life, its rather difficult to attract anyone, no matter what else you bring to the table. On the other side of the coin, those who have alot going on in their lives and are able to live their lives to their fullest, exude a level of confidence and happiness that attracts many.
This is another post where its true for some false for others. Some have it handed to em, some have to work for it, and some can't have it either way. That's life. You can have nothing going on in your life, no passion, no confidence and be successful with women. You can have all of the above and not be successful with women, maybe for entire lifetime. I find advice like this, while well intentioned, to be mere platitudes. You are either attractive to the opposite sex or you are not. Very simple.
Yep. Me, too. After a few bad relationships in the early 90s, I finally gave up on dating. I realized (maybe not then, even, but later) that I wasn't actually looking for dates, I was looking for love. So silly. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. Therefore, I missed out on a lot of fun.
So after I "gave up" on dating, I hung out with friends or when they were all busy, I hung out by myself. Became a book store junkie. Just got used to being myself. Gave up trying to be someone a cute girl would look twice at. So, of course, you know what happened. That's when I met a really nice girl -- when I wasn't even trying.
And 19 years later, we're still together!
Again true for some false for others. I haven't ever worried what women thought of me, never looked for anything from them either. Here I am at 44, one date in my entire life, never had a girlfriend. That's life. Another platitude.
I notice that a lot of men on this board place a lot of value (too much imo) on women. It seems like their self worth is tied to getting & talking to women. STOP IT! (Lol). Live you're life, go out and enjoy yourself. Who cares if you get rejected by a 100 women. Take care of you're end and trust me the women will come.
Trust me, I used to do the same thing. Once I started having fun and enjoying myself not caring what women thought then they started noticing and coming up to me. In short, just handle your business, live life and have fun. Life is short.
I think human beings look at their surroundings and judge themselves by others. Especially by the standard of the so-called "average" or "normal." And society sets is cultural standards and expectations along the lines of the "average" or "normal."
It's similar to going to Prom. Most kids want to because they know most kids are going. If Prom did not exist or if very few kids went... not going to Prom would not be a psychological stressor.
I had an Africology professor that said the rich believe the world is extraordinary fair. The middle-class believe the world is less fair than the rich but still fair. The poor believe the world is unfair.
I think this belief system is applicable to most things that deal with competition and "winning."
Well, the difference is probably you've been trying at least a little bit and I haven't been trying at all. So you have more of a right to complain than I do. In fact, it's surprising how darn fast the past 11 years have gone. It's like I didn't even notice them go by. There was this librarian I said hi to once or twice a few years ago that I was thinking about asking out, but decided it wasn't worth the trouble. There's been nobody else I've even considered asking out in, I'd say, the last 7 years.
It's similar to going to Prom. Most kids want to because they know most kids are going. If Prom did not exist or if very few kids went... not going to Prom would not be a psychological stressor.
I wasn't allowed to go to prom. I felt a bit sad for a while.
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