Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I met this guy during a week long college visit. He's sweet and kind and we both agree on a lot of things. We've texted almost everyday since the visit (I got back about a week ago). He told me how much he loved my personality, and he always texts me just to ask how I am and talk about random things and random problems. We started talking about some of the other girls that were there and he told me which ones he liked the most, I wasn't in the list, and he told me that he is dating one of the girls that I got to know pretty well. Then when he found out that I liked him he asked me why I didn't try to talk to him more and show him more signs.
So the point of this is: did I misread the signs? I thought that he liked me. He flirted. When we hugged it was long and tender. On the last day I was crying and he asked me what he could possibly do to help me stop crying, and he didn't let me go for about a minute. Wouldn't any girl think that he liked them? I'm just really confused, and I am trying really hard to be happy for them, but I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it. So please explain what I might have misread, or misunderstood. And if you think you would have thought the same things, please let me know.
That stinks. Why would he act like he liked you when he was actually dating someone else? He may have seemed special but maybe he's really just an overly affectionate mess. Take a deep breath and cut him loose. There will be other guys who will treat you better, who are not more or less cheating on their girlfriend.
Face it. When you're first in college you're still figuring out who you are. He may be clueless. Yep, clueless.
I wouldn't worry about putting too much stock into it. After all, you only really have known him for a week, and found out he was dating someone a week later. There's plenty of guys out there to worry about what happened to someone you barely even know.
Yes I know it stinks. It happens to us all at one point or another. Just move on and leave it alone.
So I met this guy during a week long college visit. He's sweet and kind and we both agree on a lot of things. We've texted almost everyday since the visit (I got back about a week ago). He told me how much he loved my personality, and he always texts me just to ask how I am and talk about random things and random problems. We started talking about some of the other girls that were there and he told me which ones he liked the most, I wasn't in the list, and he told me that he is dating one of the girls that I got to know pretty well. Then when he found out that I liked him he asked me why I didn't try to talk to him more and show him more signs.
So the point of this is: did I misread the signs? I thought that he liked me. He flirted. When we hugged it was long and tender. On the last day I was crying and he asked me what he could possibly do to help me stop crying, and he didn't let me go for about a minute. Wouldn't any girl think that he liked them? I'm just really confused, and I am trying really hard to be happy for them, but I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it. So please explain what I might have misread, or misunderstood. And if you think you would have thought the same things, please let me know.
Thanks for even taking the time to read this.
Honey, this is the kind of thing that happens when a person your age puts their heart on the line too soon after just meeting someone.
Learn the lesson and be more careful in the future okay?
At your age you have a ways to go before you get your sea legs under you. But every painful experience can teach you something to help you do that.
He apparently had a lot of girls showing interest in him and he became like a kid in a candy store - greedy and on such a sugar rush he couldn't think straight.
I know you are hurt now, but this too shall pass - IF you let it. Move on.
So I met this guy during a week long college visit. He's sweet and kind and we both agree on a lot of things. We've texted almost everyday since the visit (I got back about a week ago). He told me how much he loved my personality, and he always texts me just to ask how I am and talk about random things and random problems. We started talking about some of the other girls that were there and he told me which ones he liked the most, I wasn't in the list, and he told me that he is dating one of the girls that I got to know pretty well. Then when he found out that I liked him he asked me why I didn't try to talk to him more and show him more signs.
So the point of this is: did I misread the signs? I thought that he liked me. He flirted. When we hugged it was long and tender. On the last day I was crying and he asked me what he could possibly do to help me stop crying, and he didn't let me go for about a minute. Wouldn't any girl think that he liked them? I'm just really confused, and I am trying really hard to be happy for them, but I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it. So please explain what I might have misread, or misunderstood. And if you think you would have thought the same things, please let me know.
Thanks for even taking the time to read this.
Maybe you are in the "friend" category and he really does like your personality and companionship but doesn't have romantic feelings for you. Or he's in a relationship already but isn't too serious about it and is kind of looking around. Or he's kind of a player, a flirt.
College is kind of weird time for relationships. Sometimes people still have a relationship they're hanging onto from high school but it's on it's way out, sometimes people just like a lot of casual but meaningful friendships and sometimes you hit it off with a stranger -- two ships passing in the night.
Thank you all for the advice. I feel a little better today. Hopefully I get a little better each day. I like being his friend, I just wish it was more, you know? But time will tell the rest....*waiting*
Thank you all for the advice. I feel a little better today. Hopefully I get a little better each day. I like being his friend, I just wish it was more, you know? But time will tell the rest....*waiting*
You have, indeed, received some good advice here. Many more opportunities will come your way. Enjoy the friendship with this guy as long as you are comfortable with it. After 30+ years, I'm still close with some guy friends I made in college, one of whom I had a 6-year romantic relationship with.
You said you feel a little better today. Yes - with each passing day that will improve and you will get past it.
.
__________________
My posts as a Moderator will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS And check this out: FAQ
Moderator of Canada (and sub-fora), Illinois (and sub-fora), Indiana (and sub-fora), Caregiving, Community Chat, Fashion & Beauty, Hair Care, Games/Trivia, History, Nature, Non-romantic Relationships, Psychology, Travel, Work & Employment, Writing.
___________________________
~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
Aww shucks. I remember what it was like to be young and innocent too. Move on. May not seem like it, but there are plenty more guys out there that are just like him or even better. That's what I was most hung up about before finally casting her memory down the drain...
Also wouldn't recommend hanging around maintaining a friendship when you are always wanting more. If he's truly "the one" he'll find his way back into your life somewhere down the line
Thank you all for the advice. I feel a little better today. Hopefully I get a little better each day. I like being his friend, I just wish it was more, you know? But time will tell the rest....*waiting*
Glad you are feeling better today , but don't waste too much time "waiting" for him to come around okay? It's hard for you to believe now, but there ARE bigger fish to fry
You sound like a lovely girl, who's in love with love.
I'm not sure how old you are but trust me in a few years you will barely remember his name. My kids are teenagers and it was fashionable at their high school for everyone to hug everyone else (makes a change from bullying I suppose) and lots of girls had male friends and vice versa...but they were mostly just friends and the hugging was friend type greeting hugs. I wouldn't read too much into that one.
You have a lot to offer a man but probably not just yet. Sounds like you have college to be getting on with. These things can hurt but only if you buy into the drama of it all. I absolutely KNOW there is another guy you're interested in who you've temporarily forgotten about because of this boy. Please remember, you will have a lot of loves/crushes/hurt feelings/confusion before you're dead, and take it from an expert, the only way to deal with this sort of thing is to move forward. Don't hang around waiting for him or being the "friend" who becomes his emotional vomit bag or crutch (some guys do that) and is always waiting for a pat on the head. That's just sad and completely unattractive.
Become unavailable and busy. Let him find out what it's like to not have you there...that is the only way you will attract him at this point. Hopefully by the time he's realised you've gotten away, you will be crushing on/dating someone else anyway and it will all be an amusing memory.
I am 46 and have recently ended a dating relationship, I still get twangs in the heart but I'm old enough to not trust them. My emotions are still trying to trick me into forgetting how bad it got, by remembering how good it got. Nowadays I just read a book or something until it goes away...it's just a trick your brain plays, just left over chemistry. At the moment you've got a double lot of active brain chemistry...just remember most of what you're thinking/feeling is a mirage anyway and will fade away tomorrow.
He sounds like a nice boy but also totally out of his depth with all these admiring young women. He may have been the class geek at high school who's just blossomed....who knows? But he certainly is still just learning how to deal with all this stuff, just like you. Try not to expect too much of him or yourself. Take it one day at a time.
good luck.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
