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Priorities change over time.
I look at pictures of my folks when they first married and in the earlier years. They were always dressed up and looking sharp. As the years progressed their dress, ect. was more relaxed. By the time they were in their 60's, unless they were dolled up for a special event they were downright slouchy looking.
I think just overall you don't worry as much about appearances as you get older.
Probably by the time they got to their 60's, their bodies became slouchy-looking, due to hormonal changes. It happens. It's easier to look sharp when staying fit and trim is effortless. There's a reason why men tend to get chunky in middle-age, as do some women. Levels of Human Growth Hormone decrease, and in men testosterone decreases, so lean muscle mass is lost, and maintaining it simply isn't possible without radical intervention, like taking growth hormone supplements. It's not always a matter of "letting oneself go". Some things are beyond control. To divorce someone over something like that is unreasonable.
One of the greatest complaints women have at that age seems to be that their husband stops caring for himself, stops bathing regularly, and in spite of being dirty and smelly, demands sex. When basic hygiene is neglected, that's a legit basis for complaint. But if someone's having health issues or is going through the natural changes the body is programmed to go through, it seems like it would be cruel to hold that against the person.
For instance they could stop doing chores, they could stop using manners, they could become more angry in their arguments, they could stop caring about the emotional needs of a spouse, they could stop caring about the sexual needs of a spouse.
You are talking about someone changing who they are, someone that has even fallen out of love with their spouse. And that is whole other issue.
One of the greatest complaints women have at that age seems to be that their husband stops caring for himself, stops bathing regularly, and in spite of being dirty and smelly, demands sex..
See this board gets all distracted by these symptoms as if they are the problem. Hygiene or lack thereof is not the problem. The problems is that she married a DB.
See this board gets all distracted by these symptoms as if they are the problem. Hygiene or lack thereof is not the problem. The problems is that she married a DB.
But did she really see the man as a douchebag at that time?
Probably by the time they got to their 60's, their bodies became slouchy-looking, due to hormonal changes. It happens. It's easier to look sharp when staying fit and trim is effortless. There's a reason why men tend to get chunky in middle-age, as do some women. Levels of Human Growth Hormone decrease, and in men testosterone decreases, so lean muscle mass is lost, and maintaining it simply isn't possible without radical intervention, like taking growth hormone supplements. It's not always a matter of "letting oneself go". Some things are beyond control. To divorce someone over something like that is unreasonable.
One of the greatest complaints women have at that age seems to be that their husband stops caring for himself, stops bathing regularly, and in spite of being dirty and smelly, demands sex. When basic hygiene is neglected, that's a legit basis for complaint. But if someone's having health issues or is going through the natural changes the body is programmed to go through, it seems like it would be cruel to hold that against the person.
I agree with what your saying. There is a natural change with age.
In my parents case its just in dress. From dresses and heals and slacks and jackets to jogging pants and tee shirts. Styled hair to hardly combed.
I wondered something similar the other day, why do brides to be spend all their time and effort eating right and exercising just to look good for one day and then let everything fall to the wayside afterward. I hate that mentality some people have, "Once we're married I have him/her so they will accept me no matter what I look like." I find that so repulsive.
I wondered something similar the other day, why do brides to be spend all their time and effort eating right and exercising just to look good for one day and then let everything fall to the wayside afterward. I hate that mentality some people have, "Once we're married I have him/her so they will accept me no matter what I look like." I find that so repulsive.
I meant to edit my post and add that the guys do it too but forgot. On another note, I have seen older married couples (50s-70s) still make an effort to not look frumpy, I guess there is still hope.
I think it depends on the couple themselves. Some may see it as 'letting themselves go' but maybe the couple itself sees that as being comfortable and happy with each other.
Regardless, I'd be more irritated with a personality change than a weight or clothing change. If you're only focused on what your partner looks like then what happens if they get cancer and lose/gain a ton of weight, or lose a limb or get in an accident and their appearance is permanently altered? I understand 'laziness' can be a big part of it, but oftentimes laziness is simply a symptom of something bigger and instead of focusing on the 30 lbs that were gained, maybe they should figure out WHY the weight was gained. Stress? Unhappiness? Depression?
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