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I've used three internet dating sites: Udate (sp?), Match and eHarmony. Lots of players out there, people who I felt weeded themselves out. I think because of the initial anonymity some feel it's OK to just not call, return calls or otherwise end communicating/dating/relationship in an adult manner.
I met my husband on eHarmony; he lived in the lower peninsula of Michigan, I lived in north central Wisconsin. He's definitely a keeper and I'm glad I didn't give up. We've been happily married 6-1/2 years.
I used a few. Match was best - almost all my good dates were from match, and my wife found me there. I intensely disliked eHarmony. Met a couple people off OKCupid, not impressed with most of the people on POF, and recent changes have made it more unfriendly.
OP, if you're too lazy to put some work into your profile, search for matches, write decent emails, carry on meaningful exchanges with prospects, and actually have something to offer interested women, you shouldn't waste your time or anyone elses'. If you want hookups instead of having a relationship as a goal, maybe POF is for you - or perhaps one of the "adult" dating sites.
Dating sites won't be a disappointment if you have REALISTIC expectations.
Exactly. The way I look at it, in a worst case scenario of online dating, you don't expand your options (meaning you get zero interest from anyone the entire time you are on the site) and are no worse off than you were before using it, other than the time spent. In a best case scenario, you will go from having nobody interested in you to having many people interested in you. Neither of those scenarios are very likely. The most likely scenario is that you will expand your pool significantly beyond the people you meet in your daily life. Nothing more or less.
Exactly. The way I look at it, in a worst case scenario of online dating, you don't expand your options (meaning you get zero interest from anyone the entire time you are on the site) and are no worse off than you were before using it, other than the time spent.
That's a good way of looking at it. Though it is still disappointing to not be attractive to anyone online either.
I don't think attractiveness is the problem always. I am attractive and in real life have never had a problem finding men attracted to me. Didn't really online either, just not guys I was interested in. Some were not attractive to me, that is true but more often than not they were missing something that was important for me.
What was your experience with using a matching site for a while?
I was reading datingsitesreviews.com and there were a lot of horror stories about men can't meet women, there was a lot of spam, the site asks you stupid questions, the interface was a pain.
I thought it might be different to ask here rather than read those postings.
I haven't used those things in over a decade and I'm avoiding it because of fear of spam, going through long processes of filling out dumb answers, etc.
Do you think people who are likable are not going to use these sites because they already have somebody? I would expect that, logically.
Used them for several years, very good results. Several relationships with some great guys on match, and met my current BF via POF. Been together over 3.5 years.
That's a good way of looking at it. Though it is still disappointing to not be attractive to anyone online either.
That is another thing I ran into. I would get a message from a man who fit exactly what I wanted in a mate then looked at his photo and went "ew". I felt bad judging but if I don't find him attractive I'm not sure I will. The first round of online I did bypass men I didn't find attractive at all even if they fit what I wanted.
Do you think people who are likable are not going to use these sites because they already have somebody? I would expect that, logically.
I've been on Match.com twice.
The first time, I just lost my boyfriend to suicide. I wanted to find a "friend" who can talk to me. I didn't look for a date or anything like that.
The second time, I broke up with my ex boyfriend. I used plenty of fish and match.com I just wanted to go out with a hot guy in order to get my ex out of my mind. I didn't want to have casual sex with anybody though. I know it doesn't make any sense, but this is my truth and my reality.
Both time, I met many many MANY interesting men who REALLY had a lot to offer. I can tell you they are definitely not losers.
I think you should definitely give a try. However, you need to be careful of people's intention. For example, if you are looking for a commitment, a woman like me would be a mismatch. However, I didn't lie to any of them. I told them "If you are looking for a wife, don't waste your time on me."
Good luck to you.
p.s. Desirable men and women will not be on dating site for a long time though. Most of the men I talked to on match only used that site for 1 month. They all found their matches pretty quickly.
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