Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When it comes to online dating, most women seem to think winks are lame and a sign of laziness. But try to understand it from the man's perspective. On most dating sites, men outnumber women. Women get bombarded with more messages than they can deal with and men know this. They know that simply sending a form letter won't cut it. She'll know that you send the same message to every woman. Instead, the man will take the time to craft a well written email. But after sending it, he nears nothing. Now imagine the man does this for other women he's interested in. All that time spent composing thoughtful emails and nothing to show for it. Now you know why men resort to winking. Not because he's lazy, though many men are. But because he's tired of spending his time writing emails and not getting any replies. I'm not necessarily saying I agree, just that I see where these guys are coming from.
Time to craft a well-written email? What time? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to put together two or three sentences to demonstrate that he or she read someone's profile.
"Oh, you're a Pens fan? I'm a Caps fan. I still have nightmares about Petr Nedved getting that one past Olie in triple OT in '96, but I love the rest of your profile and think I can get past it for you, especially since you ski and love a good Bordeaux."
Took me about a minute to think that up in response to a random profile.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogluvr2013
I don't see a wink as a sign of laziness, but a sign that he's not that interested or he has fear of rejection. The rejection hurts less if there is less "investment." The guys that are really interested in hearing back from you will send an email.
I agree with the OP. I don't see Winks as being a sign of laziness at all, but doing what it was intended to do, show interest. The person is still reaching out to you, and making the first move, so I do not get why people make such a big issue out of it. If you are not interested in the person just ignore them. To block someone who you may possibly have something in common with, just because they didn't contact you specifically the way you wanted is a little much I think.
I agree with the OP. I don't see Winks as being a sign of laziness at all, but doing what it was intended to do, show interest. The person is still reaching out to you, and making the first move, so I do not get why people make such a big issue out of it. If you are not interested in the person just ignore them. To block someone who you may possibly have something in common with, just because they didn't contact you specifically the way you wanted is a little much I think.
Blocking someone for that is stupid. However, if a woman is getting a ton of responses, she's going to go with the ones who give her what she's hoping for. If what she's hoping for is a sign that you read her profile, and you don't provide that, she's going to skip right over you. Here is pretty much how my experience went back in the day:
Wink
Wink
Wink
Form letter
Wink
Nice but nothing in common--did he not see the part about me thinking Bush is an idiot?
Wink
Wink
Wink
Illiterate moron--"u" is not a word!
Wink
Wink
Wink
Canned intro
Stupid comment on my chest
Wink
Wink
Too young
Too old
Wink
Canned intro
Form letter
Not sure what he means by "fit" and "getting regular exercise," unless he's misconstruing hoisting a 40-ounce to his mouth as weight-lifting.
Wink
Wink
Wink
8 photos of himself shirtless on a dirtbike? Grow up, already.
Wink
Wink
Wink
Canned intro
If he's 40 I'll eat my hat. Looks 53 if he's a day.
Wink
Wink
Canned intro
Form letter
Wink
Wink
"Hi Lilac. Your profile cracked me up. Sorry about the wipe-out at Wildcat. Must have been spectacular, but at least you didn't break anything. Gotta agree on Bush, or, as you call him, Shrub. Don't get me started on that guy. But maybe we can bash him together over some Death by Chocolate cake at Kramerbooks? Rick"
That last guy got a chance. Too bad he really, REALLY wanted kids.
My experience is that the women send the winks, and hope to get an email. There's not much difference between men and women. And of course some women are just lazy, too, and may want to invest less in case of rejection. The problem is, if I got a wink and sent an email, many WERE lazy and couldn't write a decent respond - incomplete sentences, short answers, and no questions to keep things moving. Fortunately, not all are like that, and those are the gems amongst the gravel.
I guess to each their own. I have sent winks (unless their profile said to specifically not to) and started great conversations after they received them. I also received winks and had great conversations from there as well. I guess for me, it shows interest, I look at their profile and if I like what I see I will send an email. No big deal to me. It's not about being lazy or fear of rejection, because I can get rejected for sending a wink as well. And some have by responding they were not interested or just ignoring me.
When it comes to online dating, most women seem to think winks are lame and a sign of laziness. But try to understand it from the man's perspective. On most dating sites, men outnumber women. Women get bombarded with more messages than they can deal with and men know this. They know that simply sending a form letter won't cut it. She'll know that you send the same message to every woman. Instead, the man will take the time to craft a well written email. But after sending it, he nears nothing. Now imagine the man does this for other women he's interested in. All that time spent composing thoughtful emails and nothing to show for it. Now you know why men resort to winking. Not because he's lazy, though many men are. But because he's tired of spending his time writing emails and not getting any replies. I'm not necessarily saying I agree, just that I see where these guys are coming from.
I get it. But with all the email we have to wade through, most coming from men who are a complete waste of time, responding to a wink is just more work. If you're interested, write and say a lil something. Heck, I'd be fine with a form letter. I send them myself.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
