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My friend is dating this guy who's 35 or 36 years old, still lives at home but does work, but he's a mama's boy. So I was thinking about my friend and her being POSSIBLY she isn't 100% sure on it yet! But the two of them have been going out for a few months and I was thinking that if she is pregnant and does have a kid or kids, and she wants to get herself her own place and have this guy move in with her, how will that happen? This guy is as I said a mama's boy so how can a mama's boy move away from home and live out on his own or with his girlfriend?
She does care and love this guy a lot. Both of them do work and do go out every now and again etc. So I don't know I guess I am just a bit concerned about this whole ordeal.
Ponygals,
You seem to care a lot about your friend. I hope she appreciates your kindness and loyalty to her.
However, I'd caution giving her any advice or inquiring too much on her relationship, because that may want her to do the opposite even more.
Some people, although you may see the red flags, may have some of their own personal issues they need to deal with. Sometimes they need to work through things you may not see, and at times, they are in a state of denial or delusion.
You can tell her your concerns that maybe this guy's very attached to mom and you may question his ability to provide, but maybe keep it short and simple. Best of Luck. I know you want to help prevent a train from crashing but some things are out of your hands.
This is true. Single Men can often still hang on to the past, Toeing the line before accepting things are really about to change. Some men it's fatherhood, Others it may be a realization of getting older and others moving away from home or even starting a different career. They often may wait for sign or event liker the OP is describing.
I agree, my friend had already built a self made empire and created a monster within. Not only is this the biggest in the State, it's also one of the biggest in the Country. He's freaking loaded.....
This gal had no idea this "life changing event" would land her dream man and make her dreams come true. I don't think he did either.
Things happens for a reason.....IF....you believe?
I agree, my friend had already built a self made empire and created a monster within. Not only is this the biggest in the State, it's also one of the biggest in the Country. He's freaking loaded.....
This gal had no idea this "life changing event" would land her dream man and make her dreams come true. I don't think he did either.
Things happens for a reason.....IF....you believe?
Accepting change and embracing it can be scary and challenging for some. But for many of us who have been out in the world awhile knows-Change will come in some form in our lives eventually. Be it a job, Residence or even in health and family structure. We often bask in the comfort of predictably and comfort and may fear to venture into the unknown. Though it is usually necessary at some point.
If he has never lived on his own, he will be extremely hard to live with.
Think back to all the stuff you had to learn when you first moved out, about how to manage life without your parents. Think how much time and energy it took. Then add that to the time and energy it takes to work out living arrangements with a sweetie, and to prepare for being a parent and then be one to a newborn.
Sure, she could get lucky as posters above suggest. But to me this looks like a recipe for an early breakup. I think she should consider an abortion, and get pregnant again after they have been married and living together for a year.
Yeah I understand what all of you are saying. But I know my friend even if I told her don't walk into the wall she won't listen, go ask for advice from her boyfriend or her family and listen to them and not me and then not walk into the wall. Its like wtf we've been friends for how long and you listen to them and not me?
She says this guy loves her and wants to be with her and may marry her but then the marriage won't work because my friend says if you get married then welfare won't help you with money, food stamps, etc. If she says she's a single mom and he's a single dad coming in at different days or months then they both walk away with checks and help from the government she thinks so anyway.
This guy she is seeing again does have a job at this warehouse place or something like it so he's making a little bit of money. While she is working 2 jobs for now but still complains at the pay rate of it being minimum instead of 10 bucks or more.
I just see this to turn out badly in the end. Plus she's already talking about baby showers and she DOES NOT even know if she is pregnant. She thinks that her being 24 going on 25 is a good time to get pregnant etc.
If he has never lived on his own, he will be extremely hard to live with.
Think back to all the stuff you had to learn when you first moved out, about how to manage life without your parents. Think how much time and energy it took. Then add that to the time and energy it takes to work out living arrangements with a sweetie, and to prepare for being a parent and then be one to a newborn.
Sure, she could get lucky as posters above suggest. But to me this looks like a recipe for an early breakup. I think she should consider an abortion, and get pregnant again after they have been married and living together for a year.
Eeeeh, I moved out of my parents house when I was late 20's and you are right it is totally different but the dude is 36 years old not 19..I'm sure there are going to be some heart aches but nothing a relationship can't get past..
TBH we don't know much about the guy to make us think one way or another. If he was unemployed and jumped from one job to another with no career at age 36 it might be a bigger red flag though.
My friend is dating this guy who's 35 or 36 years old, still lives at home but does work, but he's a mama's boy. So I was thinking about my friend and her being POSSIBLY she isn't 100% sure on it yet! But the two of them have been going out for a few months and I was thinking that if she is pregnant and does have a kid or kids, and she wants to get herself her own place and have this guy move in with her, how will that happen? This guy is as I said a mama's boy so how can a mama's boy move away from home and live out on his own or with his girlfriend?
She does care and love this guy a lot. Both of them do work and do go out every now and again etc. So I don't know I guess I am just a bit concerned about this whole ordeal.
Why are you so concerned about how everyone else chooses to live their lives? More focus and energy on your own life is the best way to go and stay out of other's lives, relationships and business.
Yeah I understand what all of you are saying. But I know my friend even if I told her don't walk into the wall she won't listen, go ask for advice from her boyfriend or her family and listen to them and not me and then not walk into the wall. Its like wtf we've been friends for how long and you listen to them and not me?
She says this guy loves her and wants to be with her and may marry her but then the marriage won't work because my friend says if you get married then welfare won't help you with money, food stamps, etc. If she says she's a single mom and he's a single dad coming in at different days or months then they both walk away with checks and help from the government she thinks so anyway.
This guy she is seeing again does have a job at this warehouse place or something like it so he's making a little bit of money. While she is working 2 jobs for now but still complains at the pay rate of it being minimum instead of 10 bucks or more.
I just see this to turn out badly in the end. Plus she's already talking about baby showers and she DOES NOT even know if she is pregnant. She thinks that her being 24 going on 25 is a good time to get pregnant etc.
They are both working now. That's a good place to start. That teenage girl and guy don't have that luxury, they work part time at the video store or Pizza Hut.
With this sh***y economy, no one should be judging anyone who works full time anywhere. It's temporary most likely. Six figure guys are working at freaking Lowe's.....so don't knock it or anyone.
Yeah I understand what all of you are saying. But I know my friend even if I told her don't walk into the wall she won't listen, go ask for advice from her boyfriend or her family and listen to them and not me and then not walk into the wall. Its like wtf we've been friends for how long and you listen to them and not me?
She says this guy loves her and wants to be with her and may marry her but then the marriage won't work because my friend says if you get married then welfare won't help you with money, food stamps, etc. If she says she's a single mom and he's a single dad coming in at different days or months then they both walk away with checks and help from the government she thinks so anyway.
This guy she is seeing again does have a job at this warehouse place or something like it so he's making a little bit of money. While she is working 2 jobs for now but still complains at the pay rate of it being minimum instead of 10 bucks or more.
I just see this to turn out badly in the end. Plus she's already talking about baby showers and she DOES NOT even know if she is pregnant. She thinks that her being 24 going on 25 is a good time to get pregnant etc.
So your friend views single motherhood as a way to get freebies from the government? That's so sad.
Yeah I understand what all of you are saying. But I know my friend even if I told her don't walk into the wall she won't listen, go ask for advice from her boyfriend or her family and listen to them and not me and then not walk into the wall. Its like wtf we've been friends for how long and you listen to them and not me?
She says this guy loves her and wants to be with her and may marry her but then the marriage won't work because my friend says if you get married then welfare won't help you with money, food stamps, etc. If she says she's a single mom and he's a single dad coming in at different days or months then they both walk away with checks and help from the government she thinks so anyway.
This guy she is seeing again does have a job at this warehouse place or something like it so he's making a little bit of money. While she is working 2 jobs for now but still complains at the pay rate of it being minimum instead of 10 bucks or more.
I just see this to turn out badly in the end. Plus she's already talking about baby showers and she DOES NOT even know if she is pregnant. She thinks that her being 24 going on 25 is a good time to get pregnant etc.
Ummm, This is off to a bad start already. These measures are supposed to be for people in real need. The child will have the bear minimum with this. The child needs to be provided for by the parents unless a major hardship prevails.
It sounds like neither of them are ready to be parents. Now, Many people are not but she is focusing on the material "benefits" of having a child, Before the child. And before even having the child if she is in fact expecting.
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