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She says this guy loves her and wants to be with her and may marry her but then the marriage won't work because my friend says if you get married then welfare won't help you with money, food stamps, etc. If she says she's a single mom and he's a single dad coming in at different days or months then they both walk away with checks and help from the government she thinks so anyway.
People who are unable to afford food can get food stamps whether they are married or unmarried, and whether they have kids or not. She can go down and apply today, and so can he.
Welfare is only for single parents or pregnant women, and, IIUC, only if the other parent is not contributing and can't be forced to by garnishing his wages, etc.
If she wants to get welfare, she would have to not only not live with the dad but, if he is getting gov't assistance of any kind or working any kind of legit job, she would have to list the father as 'unknown' on the birth certificate, and tell everyone that she had a ONS with a stranger or some such.
This is a stupid plan, anyway, as welfare does not give you enough to live on and has a cutoff of, what, 2 years out of your lifetime?
She should also seriously look into what the childcare options will be. When she goes back to work, she will be able to get some kind of assistance with paying for childcare (since it will probably be more than her salary if she has 2 kids). But will it be enough? Is there a local daycare place that will take the amount she can pay? Is it gross?
My friend is dating this guy who's 35 or 36 years old, still lives at home but does work, but he's a mama's boy. So I was thinking about my friend and her being POSSIBLY she isn't 100% sure on it yet! But the two of them have been going out for a few months and I was thinking that if she is pregnant and does have a kid or kids, and she wants to get herself her own place and have this guy move in with her, how will that happen? This guy is as I said a mama's boy so how can a mama's boy move away from home and live out on his own or with his girlfriend?
She does care and love this guy a lot. Both of them do work and do go out every now and again etc. So I don't know I guess I am just a bit concerned about this whole ordeal.
I don't understand why women strive to become a single-mom. This single-momdom is outta control. I guess the condom broke!
What's that got to do with it? That doesn't make it right. Are you serious? You think that makes it no big deal then, huh?
Your friend sounds very immature, she cares more about how much bank she can make!
It's really stupid to get pregnant by someone she isn't even sure she can get out of his mommy's house.
WOW. Why don't people freaking THINK before the get pregnant?!
I agree, you need to butt out.
You asked, how can he move out - well you get some boxes.... no seriously, you can't ask us. We can't tell you how you or anyone can get him to move out. He has to want to, we can't advise you on how YOU can make it happen. He and your friend are going to have to grow up and see what's right, what they need to do, and get it done and be responsible, mature people.
However, I have a feeling that's not really in their realm of thinking.
Your friend, if not pregnant, should learn how to use birth control and wait until she finds a responsible, mature person, and wait until she's in a better financial situation, and perhaps grow up herself. Neither of them sound like they have a clue. Wow.
Sure, it's nice that you care but you already said she's not going to take your advice. You can't make someone do something. If she doesn't even know if she's PG and is planning showers and doing all this, I'm sorry but she is NOT too smart, and boy do I feel for that kid! I think you'd be better off distancing yourself from this hot mess. Let her be.
They had sex without a condom or birth control and they went all the way plus she was also ovulating during that time of sex so she thinks that she MAY be pregnant. She will find out yes or no on July 18th.
They had sex without a condom or birth control and they went all the way plus she was also ovulating during that time of sex so she thinks that she MAY be pregnant. She will find out yes or no on July 18th.
Why am I not surprised?
Of course they don't use birth control.
That would be the smart choice.
God, do people NOT know how babies are made??
Or is she hoping to "trap" him?
I will bet money he will not stick around. He will likely not be able to pay child support, not stay with her, and now her life is going to be a LOT harder than it should be.
My friend is dating this guy who's 35 or 36 years old, still lives at home but does work, but he's a mama's boy. So I was thinking about my friend and her being POSSIBLY she isn't 100% sure on it yet! But the two of them have been going out for a few months and I was thinking that if she is pregnant and does have a kid or kids, and she wants to get herself her own place and have this guy move in with her, how will that happen? This guy is as I said a mama's boy so how can a mama's boy move away from home and live out on his own or with his girlfriend?
She does care and love this guy a lot. Both of them do work and do go out every now and again etc. So I don't know I guess I am just a bit concerned about this whole ordeal.
This is real tough and a two way highway. I don't blame your friend on getting an apartment to raise a kid with the mama boy boyfriend. However I would suggest that your friends to live at mama boys home for the next couple of years! Why? For one daycare cost depending on what region you live can be costly and I'm sure as a mother your friend probably want to go back to work after baby pops out. Two you guys can save enough money. Three when you guys go out and work, grandma can watch and take care of the baby until its time for the child to go to pre k. After all said and done, your friend and her bf can move out and have enough money to move out, get a car, maybe afford a wedding etc.
They are aware of birth control and condom use but I guess they wanted to have sex without either for once. A lot of people do have unprotected sex. I don't know or think that she's trying to trap him. And again she thinks her of being 24 is a good time to have a kid.
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