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Camlon, if you looked at my monthly buidget, you would see it is NOT more than enough. How can you assume you know what my budget is? I have bought new clothes for myself exactly once in over four years. Our multimedia center is a 26" TV and a used DVD player. Our furniture is from Salvation Army. I choose instead to spend my money on my children's needs but even if I were to choose lower quality child care, shoes, toys etc for them, I still could not be particularly indulgent elsewhere. I am supposed to be able to support a man too?
I don't want a man to adopt my children to create a financial burden for him. I'd like, should I get married, marry a man who wants to commit not just to me but to my children too and really be their father. If I am going to have a partner, he has to love my kids too. Financially, I can support them though.
Camlon, if you looked at my monthly buidget, you would see it is NOT more than enough. How can you assume you know what my budget is? I have bought new clothes for myself exactly once in over four years. Our multimedia center is a 26" TV and a used DVD player. Our furniture is from Salvation Army. I choose instead to spend my money on my children's needs but even if I were to choose lower quality child care, shoes, toys etc for them, I still could not be particularly indulgent elsewhere. I am supposed to be able to support a man too?
I don't want a man to adopt my children to create a financial burden for him. I'd like, should I get married, marry a man who wants to commit not just to me but to my children too and really be their father. If I am going to have a partner, he has to love my kids too. Financially, I can support them though.
But you don't want to support or love someone else's kids? This is where your problem will always lie...
Camlon, if you looked at my monthly buidget, you would see it is NOT more than enough. How can you assume you know what my budget is? I have bought new clothes for myself exactly once in over four years. Our multimedia center is a 26" TV and a used DVD player. Our furniture is from Salvation Army. I choose instead to spend my money on my children's needs but even if I were to choose lower quality child care, shoes, toys etc for them, I still could not be particularly indulgent elsewhere. I am supposed to be able to support a man too?
I don't want a man to adopt my children to create a financial burden for him. I'd like, should I get married, marry a man who wants to commit not just to me but to my children too and really be their father. If I am going to have a partner, he has to love my kids too. Financially, I can support them though.
Legal adoption is a liability, no matter how much you try to sugar coat it.
But you don't want to support or love someone else's kids? This is where your problem will always lie...
No, I personally have no problem with supporting or loving someone else's kids. As I said, I am concerned for my children's emotional well-being, especially my less resilient son's.
lilyflower, my son would have a very hard time with additional children. My daughter would be more able to roll with it and adjust but not my son. I would prefer not to put him through a painful adjustment.
Again, poor excuse.
You think that as long as you give people "my kids come first" seemingly noble excuse, everything will sound less offensive?!
Your children are not even four years old yet, how do you know your children will have problems adjusting? Children are very resilient, more resilient than you thought!!!!
My ex's ex wife remarried to a single father who has two children from previous marriage. My ex's daughter has absolutely no problems getting along with them. Matter of fact, I notice that she has become a more understanding little person because of this She obviously learned how to SHARE.
Life is a constant struggle, you should know it better than most of the people here. Why are you NOT okay with a man with minor children? Let's face it already, you view other people's minor children as burden.
He better do this, he better do that. He better not view my children as burden? But you have zero problems rejecting a guy with minor children himself?!
My aunt advertised herself as a "beautiful woman without breasts" on dating site. NO lies, no sugarcoating, just straight facts. She received a lot of positive encouragement even from guys who don't want to date her. Many people told her she is an inspiration. Her husband is also a cancer survivor. What do you think people would think of her if she says, "He better be healthy, I survived cancer, I am not going to take care of a sick man." It doesn't sound very nice, does it?
You have TWO MINOR CHILDREN, Your children are precious, so are other people's. If you cannot accept this reality, yes, you will remain single, and you would have to deal with it.
Camlon, if you looked at my monthly buidget, you would see it is NOT more than enough. How can you assume you know what my budget is? I have bought new clothes for myself exactly once in over four years. Our multimedia center is a 26" TV and a used DVD player. Our furniture is from Salvation Army. I choose instead to spend my money on my children's needs but even if I were to choose lower quality child care, shoes, toys etc for them, I still could not be particularly indulgent elsewhere. I am supposed to be able to support a man too?
I don't want a man to adopt my children to create a financial burden for him. I'd like, should I get married, marry a man who wants to commit not just to me but to my children too and really be their father. If I am going to have a partner, he has to love my kids too. Financially, I can support them though.
If you spend reasonable, then clothes, TV, DVD, and even furniture are not a big budget post. You are cutting expenditure at the wrong places. http://visualeconomics.creditloan.co...themoneygo.jpg The big budget posts are house and car. If you spend reasonable on those, then you should have plenty of money.
Remember 70% of the population is poorer than you. They got to make it somehow, and many of them have 40" TV and a new DVD player.
Also, I would like an answer to my question. If you can't make any sacrifices, then why should a man make plenty of sacrifices to date you.
Before I had children, I dated my share of men with their own children. But I know my son. I think the first four months in the NICU affected him emotionally much more than my daughter.
But you don't want to support or love someone else's kids? This is where your problem will always lie...
+1. OP is selfish which she has shown here on this thread loud and clear. Her children aren't holding her back from finding someone, her selfishness is. She couldn't find a man before she had the kids either, that tells you something.
+1. OP is selfish which she has shown here on this thread loud and clear. Her children aren't holding her back from finding someone, her selfishness is. She couldn't find a man before she had the kids either, that tells you something.
Comes a point where one starts wondering if all of these demands aren't rooted in fear of rejection. Set standards so high that no one can possibly live up to them, focus all of the give and take on taking, and you'll never have to worry about someone being human enough to want anything from you, disappoint you, or break your heart.
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