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Whoever asked the other to meet up first should choose. I always choose though since it's easy and I like to try different coffee places. If a man can't choose a place, he either isn't that into meeting you, lazy/procrasticnator, or doesn't know what he's doing. This ain't rocket science esp with Yelp reviews nowadays.
Whoa there stallion. We arent all socialites.
Some of us Charlie Browns aren' familair with places to go, especially if we are driving out to the woman's town (which normally happens). Then include that I am somewhat new to my area, and picking a decent place to go is not the easiest of tasks. However, I am getting better...
Lately, I have become a huge fan of the coffee meet and greet, and there are Starbucks on many corners as a last resort.
IMO, if I am driving out to the woman, and I acknowledge I am unfamilair with her area, it is really nice if she can pick a spot, especially if she is 15-20 miles from me.
I don't care who chooses, but I like to make a solid plan at least 2 or 3 days before. I don't like it when guys wait until the last minute to form a solid plan. Plus it's harder to flake on someone if you nail down a date, time, and place. A few times I went out with a guy where I was more familiar with the area than he was, and I think those guys appreciated that I chose the place.
Whoa there stallion. We arent all socialites.
Some of us Charlie Browns aren' familair with places to go, especially if we are driving out to the woman's town (which normally happens). Then include that I am somewhat new to my area, and picking a decent place to go is not the easiest of tasks.
Do you not live in an urban area? Cos if you don't, I understand it's more difficult as the # of potential places is smaller and there won't be many reviews. But if one lives in an urban area, this couldn't be any easier.
I'm only half joking, but it stands to reason you really could say on your profile that you prefer meeting for coffee at such and such Starbucks and stick to that plan. You'll be confident and businesslike in your "home office".
If a guy isn't willing to travel and doesn't offer a viable alternative you feel comfortable with, why would you date him to begin with?
You - as the woman - should choose the location for an initial meeting. It should be public and safe, as should the parking area. If the distance is considerable, it's polite to offer something midway between, unless he's okay with the distance.
Please. If I'm paying, I'm picking. Especially if I'm paying good money. She ought to be able to drive across town if she's grown-up enough and meet me wherever that would be. That's part of the reason I'd be dating her. Because she's a big girl now.
The last date I went on was close to her apartment. I guess she had just moved across town and decided to spring that on me at the last minute. Not that I didn't need the day away from the man cave having been off of the last project for a few weeks, but I make it a point now not to chase folks all over town on my dime.
OTOH, if a woman decides to keep company with a guy that would take her to crusty places in crusty parts of town, that's her problem. It should have been obvious by that point that he's of questionable character.
I think both parties should mutually agree to time and place. A girl might feel uncomfortable in a sport bar, or a guy not crazy about meeting in a church, or somewhere else
Am answering in regards to a first meet with someone from online:
I pick the place because I have no transport (no car, can't drive),
so the person will need to come to my town.
That may be unfair, but there's no way around it.
I know what is within walking distance of my home-
since I follow the rule of "meeting in public place"-
only I know which places qualify (that I can reach).
Plus, I live in a small town, so there aren't a lot of choices.
And I "go dutch", meet at casual eatery-
where we can each just buy a bottled drink-
it's not an involved/lengthy/complex "meal scenario".
I've had guys let me pick the place because they picked me up if they didn't know the area. Guys from here either picked it or alternate in the planning.
Girls never tend to want to be able to decide. I would find myself picking almost every time. I know right off the bat if she picks a place thats 30 bucks a plate right on the first date she is probably not going to last.
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