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Sandra, I'm kinda in the same boat. I was married for nearly 20 yrs, girlfriend has been divorced and was with a guy for 3 yrs and she really loved him.....but he wasn't real good to her. I come along and we hit it off great. A few arguments, but I tend to play devils advocate on some decisions(think on both sides of the fence). And, I'm doing it now probably.
We have been see'n each other for about a yr, but only intimately for about 10 months. She has never said "I love you", and has no pix of me on her FB. We are in our mid 40's so that may play a big part.
I'm not worried. I've invested alot of time to get to know her, I really like her(yes I've said the "L" word), but we are both "once bit'n twice shy".
I say relax, talk, or just see if he texts/calls you often. My gf wants me with her nearly all the time, so I know she cares alot. She does things for me and I can tell she thinks about me alot. It's more than I've had in other relationships that just wanted FWB.......can't say i didn't mind but am look'n to stop look'n, if ya know what I mean.
Its a tough call. But why not talk it over and just see what is going through his mind. If he was cheated on by his x, well......that is a tough one to get over.
BTW, i didn't add pix of her for a long time. I'm not a big fan or use FB much, but all my x's pix are gone and only a couple of gf.
Just something to think about.
Thanks Capt!!
We had a chat today. I told him my feelings, didn't mention FB because I was afraid I would sound childish. He said that he loves me but he feels that I'm pushing him into a serious relationship and he isn't ready.
I told him that from my side I am looking for a serious commitment. I've been playing around and now it's time for me to find a real boyfriend. I'm not the "player" type.
I think we maybe need some time apart. I also told him that maybe we need to separate for a time to give him the time he needs to heal and sort out his emotional issues. But he doesn't want to separate. He said that if we separate, I would find someone else for sure and he can´t risk losing me.
That's so confusing HELP!!!
you dont want to stay in a relationship where the other accuses u of pushing them further into it.
love cant be forced// it has to be equal on both sides. i think u have been with him a long enough time for the relationship to be considered more serious than not. i think u may need more than some time apart...
what was he planning on happening? stringing u along for who knows how many years?! for you to be thinking it was serious, getting mad at you when serious emotions happen to u , i think i told u this before, the relationship was completely one sided..
u invested your emotions, and your time. for what? to be told that u are "pushing him" in to something serious that he isnt ready for? translation= he doesnt want anything serious. he probably still misses the life he once had with his ex.sad but true.
be happy that this happened now, rather than years later when you are wondering why he hasnt proposed or you are still wondering why he still has pics up of his ex wife... u seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and u know what u want out of a relationship.
i think that type of attitude will serve u well in the dating field. in order to be in a relationship, u have to be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually available.
now with that lets see.. he doesnt want intimacy and he emotionally cant handle anything serious./ that leaves spiritually, the man had no soul to even tell u he didnt want anything serious./
mentally, he wasnt even thinkin about u, he was being selfish,. thats why its so important to not let anyone else hold your happiness.
suppose u just went with the flow and never had this serious talk with him? you wouldve slowly become his doormat to all his emotions and non commitment issues.count your losses while there are not many and move on.
you dont want to stay in a relationship where the other accuses u of pushing them further into it.
love cant be forced// it has to be equal on both sides. i think u have been with him a long enough time for the relationship to be considered more serious than not. i think u may need more than some time apart...
what was he planning on happening? stringing u along for who knows how many years?! for you to be thinking it was serious, getting mad at you when serious emotions happen to u , i think i told u this before, the relationship was completely one sided..
u invested your emotions, and your time. for what? to be told that u are "pushing him" in to something serious that he isnt ready for? translation= he doesnt want anything serious. he probably still misses the life he once had with his ex.sad but true.
be happy that this happened now, rather than years later when you are wondering why he hasnt proposed or you are still wondering why he still has pics up of his ex wife... u seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and u know what u want out of a relationship.
i think that type of attitude will serve u well in the dating field. in order to be in a relationship, u have to be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually available.
now with that lets see.. he doesnt want intimacy and he emotionally cant handle anything serious./ that leaves spiritually, the man had no soul to even tell u he didnt want anything serious./
mentally, he wasnt even thinkin about u, he was being selfish,. thats why its so important to not let anyone else hold your happiness.
suppose u just went with the flow and never had this serious talk with him? you wouldve slowly become his doormat to all his emotions and non commitment issues.count your losses while there are not many and move on.
good luck.
Thank you.
I have taken my decision and asked him for some time. He freak out and beg me to be more patient.
I had to be very tough, and hope he will understand it. We agreed to be only friends without "benefits".
Thanks Capt!!
We had a chat today. I told him my feelings, didn't mention FB because I was afraid I would sound childish. He said that he loves me but he feels that I'm pushing him into a serious relationship and he isn't ready.
I told him that from my side I am looking for a serious commitment. I've been playing around and now it's time for me to find a real boyfriend. I'm not the "player" type.
I think we maybe need some time apart. I also told him that maybe we need to separate for a time to give him the time he needs to heal and sort out his emotional issues. But he doesn't want to separate. He said that if we separate, I would find someone else for sure and he can´t risk losing me.
That's so confusing HELP!!!
So..you've been dating him for a year but he doesn't want anything 'serious'...he's afraid of losing you but obviously doesn't care about losing you. I'm assuming you're sleeping with him regularly? More than likely THAT'S what he's afraid of losing. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you want a serious relationship and he's not willing to take that step after a YEAR of dating then just leave him.
I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year. Our relationship has been a bit difficult as he had separated from his ex just months before we met. Basically he was on a rebound.
Since the beginning I've been patient and understanding. But I noticed that he has no photos form us on Facebook, but has tons of them and many more from her.
I know that isn't the end of the world but I just want to understand as it doesn't seem normal for me. I wanted to ask him but he gets upset every time his ex's name comes up on any conversation.
Why don't you just upload some and tag him? Problem solved.
I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year. Our relationship has been a bit difficult as he had separated from his ex just months before we met. Basically he was on a rebound.
Since the beginning I've been patient and understanding. But I noticed that he has no photos form us on Facebook, but has tons of them and many more from her.
I know that isn't the end of the world but I just want to understand as it doesn't seem normal for me. I wanted to ask him but he gets upset every time his ex's name comes up on any conversation.
Jebus christ we are not all facebook addicts.
I have photos of my exes on facebook, but I only post for special occassions (vacation, birthday, holidays etc... something out of the ordinary) and that's if I feel like it.
I wouldn't remove photos just because I broke up with someone.
Now if you guys have been taken pictures randomly and doing exciting things and he DOES post regulary on facebook well... might be a sign that he isn't quite sure he wants HIS world wide web of friends to know the extent of his relationship with you... uhm if they know he's in a relationshp at all.
And if his ex is still a friend well he is still pinning away for her and he definitely doesn't want her to know that he is "completely" moving on. He wants to spare her feelings haha because he wants her back... oops.
Anyone who doesnt get whats going on here isnt getting it. You should be getting gone,running not walking. How long are you women planning on trying to hang on to someone who isnt in to you and carrying a torch for another. Being a sucker for punishment gets you nowhere.
Anyone who doesnt get whats going on here isnt getting it. You should be getting gone,running not walking. How long are you women planning on trying to hang on to someone who isnt in to you and carrying a torch for another. Being a sucker for punishment gets you nowhere.
This is two year old thread.
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HELP!!!
