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That sounds like a practical way of developing a romantic connection, but it doesn't sound passionate. Anything that doesn't sound passionate to me sounds boring, but I'm not saying that it's bad advice. Obviously what I've been doing isn't working for me anyways.
Well, it is supposed to be one of the very funnest things in life.
If connecting romantically and falling in love doesn't appeal to you, I think you should look for an FWB. And dang, it is not hard to find a guy your age who wants that! You can afford to be very, very choosey.
Well, it is supposed to be one of the very funnest things in life.
If connecting romantically and falling in love doesn't appeal to you, I think you should look for an FWB. And dang, it is not hard to find a guy your age who wants that! You can afford to be very, very choosey.
Honestly, I don't think it would be any easier for me to find a FWB (that I actually wanted) either.
Wtf you are an enigma lol..if he just does nothing for you and his attraction level is like 3 or below it would just be best to let him go so you don't waste his time..if it's like a 5-7 I would stick it out if he is compatible with you..
If you didn't want to see him naked why even bother going on a date with him?
If you arent feeling sexually attracted to men its probably cause you dont know what youre missing.
According to this logic, you have to be raped or force yourself in order to have sex, because after all, sexual attraction is not INSTINCTIVE and the only way to want sex is by having sex first, am I right?
I've gone out a few times with a nice guy. He seems to be somewhat interested in me, but it's too early to say where things are headed. We're almost at the point where I guess there would be a reasonable expectation of some physical contact and while this doesn't repulse me, it doesn't excite me either. He's cute but I don't really have an interest in getting naked with him at this point and based on past experience, I either have that kind of attraction for someone right away or I never do.
So basically at this point, I would normally choose to part ways with someone because I truly do want someone who I can feel passionate about in that way. But I no longer feel that I can just move on to the next guy because the chances of me finding what I'm looking for are slim (based on past experience and reality) and if I want to have children, I have to do it in the next 5 years or so. Really, it's not so much having children that I'm worried about but I'd just rather be settled and not dating in my mid-30s and up (I'm 32 now). I know that in general, dating options for women just get worse and worse so I should just realize that this guy is probably the best that I'm going to get, hope that he settles for ME, and be happy about it. Sure, I could just remain single, but studies show that I would have a better chance of being happy with a good guy who I don't feel fireworks with than just being on my own.
I'm a hopeless romantic at heart though so thinking about a potential relationship this way is somewhat depressing. It's not that I expect someone to be everything that I want, but I at least want to feel excited about being with that person. Am I being unreasonable? Can anyone here actually admit that they "settled" for someone and turned out to be happy with their decision? Anyone regret not settling when you were younger because you now realize that you probably would've been better off doing so?
When I say "settling", I don't mean overlooking things that are truly important to you, but just things you don't necessarily NEED to have in someone. Since I haven't felt sexually attracted to 90% of the guys I've dated, I think that just might have to be something that can't be a requirement for me although it is something that I would like very much.
I know some women that have done this. They seem to be happy overall. Of course, for all I know, they could be cheating behind their hubby's back. You never really know what a relationship is like from the outside.
I'm a hopeless romantic at heart though so thinking about a potential relationship this way is somewhat depressing. It's not that I expect someone to be everything that I want, but I at least want to feel excited about being with that person. Am I being unreasonable? Can anyone here actually admit that they "settled" for someone and turned out to be happy with their decision? Anyone regret not settling when you were younger because you now realize that you probably would've been better off doing so?
When I say "settling", I don't mean overlooking things that are truly important to you, but just things you don't necessarily NEED to have in someone. Since I haven't felt sexually attracted to 90% of the guys I've dated, I think that just might have to be something that can't be a requirement for me although it is something that I would like very much.
sadly, i think marrying out of practicality happens more often than ppl are willing to admit... how do you think the term "settling" has become so common???
and i also think staying married out of practicality and love/passion diminished is much more common too. sexless sucky marriages are out there for sure...
i hate the deceptiveness part, but a guy should have enough social intelligence to pick up on that. some guys can deal with it, others cant. just like some wives suspect infidelity but blindly overlook it out of marital convenience.
Attraction works in different ways for different people. Perhaps for some, it works gradually over time as one gets to know another person, they find them attractive.
Pheromones is one factor. Mental and emotional connection is another.
And, sometimes, you need to be honest with yourself. If you're not feeling any sort of sexual attraction for someone at least within the first month of knowing them.. ain't gonna happen.
For some it's mental>emotional>physical -OR- physical>mental>emotional
Neither is right or wrong.
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