Dating an alcoholic

[codergirl]

Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is doing things that before now I blew off as not serious. However last few weeks he has been doing things that bother me and scream "alcoholic". He's been dressing sloppy and falling asleep after drinking. He's been arguing with me and others. His mother wants him to go to rehab or at least AA and he agreed. He's a functioning alcoholic luckily and the doctor recommended AA and talking to a psychiatrist instead of inpatient rehab.

Anyone ever deal with this? In the past I dated another alcoholic and he was mean. He didn't care he was an alcoholic but my boyfriend now does. I'm not going to break up with him but am going to take a back burner to this and help him overcome it.

You can't help someone overcome anything....they have to do it themselves.You might mean being supportive and trying to be there the best that you can for him BUT he has to be the one to want to get help and deal with his issue.
Yes I once dated a functioning alcoholic.He didn't believe that he was on though.When I 1st met him...I didn't see that in him at all until he moved in with me and basically he would get passed out drunk every weekend.Oh..and he would have his kid every other weekend so I thought that he wouldn't drink around the kid.Not the case..he would AFTER the kid would go to bed.Yeah..I ended up running back to the clubs to get away from him after that.We only lasted 2 years and then he moved away.Functioning alcoholics seem that they would be easier to deal with since it seems that it doesn't impede their work life BUT they're still a-holes during the weekends so..yeah...so anyone who doesn't deal with their issues head on..I don't have time for.Their problems will become YOUR problems.

[ItsRick24]

OP, I'm a recovering alcoholic and let me tell you, getting anyone to go into rehab is easier said than done!

You can talk to this guy until the cows come home; he'll either deny that he has a problem or say, "Yeah, yeah, I'll go (to rehab) tomorrow...today I'm taking my last drink!" Guess what? Tomorrow he's still drinking!

You need to let him go.

[leghorn23]

Its totally your call. Some people can drink more than others and lead a completely normal life. Some people simply can't handle their drink. If you find the relationship healthy, then there is no reason it can't continue, but you need to make sure you aren't subjecting yourself to abuse. God bless.