Guy at work keeps checking out my shoes?...and other things (how to, women)
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So, there's this guy that I work with who always looks at my shoes, lol, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it weirds me out. I'd like to consider myself a fashionable person, however, I don't overdo it at work.
One day I came into work and upon seeing me he immediately shouted - "look at you all dolled up!" This particular day I had on makeup, hair curled, and wore some cute little earrings. Also, he always notices when I do something different with my hair. The other day he said - "oh you've got your hair up today".
Specifics: He is Italian. I am Black. He doesn't do this with any of the other girls (they're all beautiful and have great sense of style); I am the only Black person at my site and he is Italian as is the majority of my co-workers; He is very fashionable and takes pride in his appearance; so far, he's been very nice to me and we work well together; when we sit and talk he often stares at my lips intently and sometimes my breasts.
told me one day that I wouldn't believe the negative things that Italian people say/think/feel about Blacks but that he's "cool with Black people, gets along well with them, went to school with them, best friends growing up were Black...blah, blah, blah and doesn't want anyone to think of him as a "Guido".
So I guess my question is, most times the obvious thing to say would be "interest abounds"...but, is it possible he could be saying/doing these things perhaps because he's not used to Black women/people who take care of themselves??? Maybe he's just as racist as all of the "other" Italian people he told me about and maybe he's surprised because I don't present as the typical stereotypical Black girl?
So, there's this guy that I work with who always looks at my shoes, lol, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it weirds me out. I'd like to consider myself a fashionable person, however, I don't overdo it at work.
One day I came into work and upon seeing me he immediately shouted - "look at you all dolled up!" This particular day I had on makeup, hair curled, and wore some cute little earrings. Also, he always notices when I do something different with my hair. The other day he said - "oh you've got your hair up today".
Specifics: He is Italian. I am Black. He doesn't do this with any of the other girls (they're all beautiful and have great sense of style); I am the only Black person at my site and he is Italian as is the majority of my co-workers; He is very fashionable and takes pride in his appearance; so far, he's been very nice to me and we work well together; when we sit and talk he often stares at my lips intently and sometimes my breasts.
told me one day that I wouldn't believe the negative things that Italian people say/think/feel about Blacks but that he's "cool with Black people, gets along well with them, went to school with them, best friends growing up were Black...blah, blah, blah and doesn't want anyone to think of him as a "Guido".
So I guess my question is, most times the obvious thing to say would be "interest abounds"...but, is it possible he could be saying/doing these things perhaps because he's not used to Black women/people who take care of themselves??? Maybe he's just as racist as all of the "other" Italian people he told me about and maybe he's surprised because I don't present as the typical stereotypical Black girl?
Has anyone ever had an experience like this?
Thanks for your help.
Ugh. I would lodge a complaint about him. He's creating an uncomfortable workplace atmosphere for you. And I think your interpretation is probably correct. But in any case, he's singled you out for comments on your choice of clothing, is being inappropriate with his staring, and is making racial comments as well. He's being both sexist and racist. If you don't want to speak up to him on your own behalf, and tell him it's not acceptable in the US to stare at women and to make racial comments, ask the HR dept. to do it for you.
Ugh. I would lodge a complaint about him. He's creating an uncomfortable workplace atmosphere for you. And I think your interpretation is probably correct. But in any case, he's singled you out for comments on your choice of clothing, is being inappropriate with his staring, and is making racial comments as well. He's being both sexist and racist. If you don't want to speak up to him on your own behalf, and tell him it's not acceptable in the US to stare at women and to make racial comments, ask the HR dept. to do it for you.
Woah woah there Baby Ruth.....many don't know how to react to other races. I was very awkward when I first met my Korean ex. I asked him if he was half white because he was so goodlooking. I didn't realize until later that was really ignorant of me. I had a crush on a blackman at work and I nicknamed him coco puff. Well he some how found out and told me it was ok because he called me Vanilla chocolate. Lol
Anyway my point is some men and women don't know how to react.
Woah woah there Baby Ruth.....many don't know how to react to other races. I was very awkward when I first met my Korean ex. I asked him if he was half white because he was so goodlooking. I didn't realize until later that was really ignorant of me. I had a crush on a blackman at work and I nicknamed him coco puff. Well he some how found out and told me it was ok because he called me Vanilla chocolate. Lol
Anyway my point is some men and women don't know how to react.
Well, right. Her first recourse should be to tell him these comments and stares are inappropriate in US culture. So we're giving him the benefit of the doubt, and assuming he likes her but is clumsy about the racial thing? (Not to mention the rest of it...) Somebody needs to tell him he's being inappropriate, though. If not the OP, maybe a work colleague/friend of hers. And if he doesn't change his ways, then she can consider going to HR?
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I didn't realize until later that was really ignorant of me. I had a crush on a blackman at work and I nicknamed him coco puff. Well he some how found out and told me it was ok because he called me Vanilla chocolate. Lol
