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Old 07-07-2013, 11:11 PM
 
Location: socal baby
1,355 posts, read 2,541,697 times
Reputation: 928

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PUA bad, please close thread topic over kill.

Last edited by nokiddin; 07-07-2013 at 11:27 PM..

 
Old 07-07-2013, 11:28 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImmortalRites View Post
I say this because I see a lot of people out there recommending various PUA books to read for guys who struggle to get girls. To me, these books are very misleading and do more harm than good

The reason I say this is because these books make it seem like getting a girlfriend is the equivalent of climbing mount everest. They make it seem like the only guys getting girls are those with impeccable charisma/confidence, social skills, jobs, looks, style, etc... In reality, it's all complete nonsense. I go out all the time and I see plenty of average looking, average personality, average income, average style guys with lovely girlfriends. I talk to these men and there is nothing special about them - they don't have any great charisma or wit. They're just normal nice people who are not afraid to be themselves


To me, the great irony is these books preach "don't put the ***** on the pedestal"...but that's exactly when they do when they make you feel like you need to read a 300 page book to get a girl (when men have been dating for thousands of years without needing any books). We need to have some books that just preach being comfortable with oneself, decreasing the perceived challenge of dating for men and other things that will help struggling guys out (like myself)
That's why we have C-D. That's why people are often saying "just be friendly", "just chat casually with people". It doesn't have to be a big deal. It's only as big a deal as you make it in your mind.
 
Old 07-08-2013, 04:43 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,931 posts, read 11,692,733 times
Reputation: 13170
"misleading and useless"OK. How about "pathetic"?
 
Old 07-08-2013, 06:43 AM
 
2,189 posts, read 7,689,902 times
Reputation: 1294
I have seen three topics, today, where someone has admitted they do not or are scared to approach women and resort to online. If nothing else, PUA material will motivate the reader to approach those they attract. More than likely, these poor guys have approached a few women in their lifetime, got rejected and have given up.

There are more non-PUA dating books than there are PUA books.
 
Old 07-08-2013, 07:48 AM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,788,947 times
Reputation: 5833
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
The PUA world is an industry. Just like payday loans, it's an easy way for businessmen to take advantage of desperate people.
Exactly... I kind of liken PUA techniques to those "lose 20 pounds in 20 days" infomercials. Or "you can become a millionaire in days! Workshops." Sure, it might work for some, but for most, it's a waste of money.

What I really hate to see is perfectly good guys falling for this stuff and hurting themselves by becoming someone they aren't or trying this nonsense and not succeeding and becoming bitter and jaded Or succeeding and finding emotionally damaged women that fall for PUA techniques and still becoming jaded. It takes time and effort to meet people and (ironically) it just seems to be harder in this day and age. It's almost as if the more we've become technologically connected, the worse we've become at becoming human connected. The way we interact with each other now-a-days seems to make it harder.
 
Old 07-08-2013, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee
1,999 posts, read 2,465,295 times
Reputation: 568
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImmortalRites View Post
I say this because I see a lot of people out there recommending various PUA books to read for guys who struggle to get girls. To me, these books are very misleading and do more harm than good

The reason I say this is because these books make it seem like getting a girlfriend is the equivalent of climbing mount everest. They make it seem like the only guys getting girls are those with impeccable charisma/confidence, social skills, jobs, looks, style, etc... In reality, it's all complete nonsense. I go out all the time and I see plenty of average looking, average personality, average income, average style guys with lovely girlfriends. I talk to these men and there is nothing special about them - they don't have any great charisma or wit. They're just normal nice people who are not afraid to be themselves


To me, the great irony is these books preach "don't put the ***** on the pedestal"...but that's exactly when they do when they make you feel like you need to read a 300 page book to get a girl (when men have been dating for thousands of years without needing any books). We need to have some books that just preach being comfortable with oneself, decreasing the perceived challenge of dating for men and other things that will help struggling guys out (like myself)


In the United States all it really takes to attract an average looking female is to be an average looking male. Not much of what you say matters. You're corny jokes are really not funny. The woman you are speaking to is not really "deep" or "good." She's as superficial as you.

And the U.S. culture--most especially in Black-America--is very big on putting on airs. It's about being "cool" and "what's in." It's entirely fake.

I regret I was born and raised here. I'm just about flabbergasted looking at other cultures and people at times. Googling up Frieda Pinto I was led to her alma mater in Mumbai, India. And the young people are just sooooo different. Even the guys dancing. They share with Americans and others the traits of trying to look attractive to the opposite sex. However, there is no pants sagging, no grills in mouth, no airs of being the toughest person or clique on the block. No airs of being "cool" guys. The young women do not strike me as attempting to select for those traits in the males either.

Some of their female dances are traditional too. Going back probably centuries. Just about everything in the U.S. is a trend and/or disposable. Maybe a year from now it'll be "in" for men to be wearing lipstick. If it's associated with liberals then every woman in the USofA up into her 50s will be making that a "must have" feature.

I'd like to go to India, Angola, and some other places around the world to experience some other cultures are people. Maybe some of these books you're talking about are artifacts of the American, fake, commercial culture I hate.


St. Xavier's College Freshers Party of Economics department - YouTube
 
Old 07-08-2013, 09:23 AM
 
1,304 posts, read 2,570,550 times
Reputation: 1839
Some of the PUA principles are fundamentally sound but the industry is very snake oil salesman
 
Old 07-09-2013, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
9,847 posts, read 25,201,274 times
Reputation: 3629
I'm ashamed to admit it but I went through a brief phase of desperation in my mid-twenties where I tried PUA stuff. It can work but on a select few women. It will help you "get laid" with a select few women who are not how shall I say it wife or serious girlfriend material.
 
Old 07-09-2013, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,561 posts, read 23,014,538 times
Reputation: 10356
Go read The Game by Neil Strauss.

Very eye opening, in many ways.
 
Old 07-09-2013, 06:18 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,324,788 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImmortalRites View Post
I say this because I see a lot of people out there recommending various PUA books to read for guys who struggle to get girls. To me, these books are very misleading and do more harm than good

The reason I say this is because these books make it seem like getting a girlfriend is the equivalent of climbing mount everest. They make it seem like the only guys getting girls are those with impeccable charisma/confidence, social skills, jobs, looks, style, etc... In reality, it's all complete nonsense. I go out all the time and I see plenty of average looking, average personality, average income, average style guys with lovely girlfriends. I talk to these men and there is nothing special about them - they don't have any great charisma or wit. They're just normal nice people who are not afraid to be themselves


To me, the great irony is these books preach "don't put the ***** on the pedestal"...but that's exactly when they do when they make you feel like you need to read a 300 page book to get a girl (when men have been dating for thousands of years without needing any books). We need to have some books that just preach being comfortable with oneself, decreasing the perceived challenge of dating for men and other things that will help struggling guys out (like myself)
In the end, the PUA industry is just like many other industry, it's all revolving around the dollar.
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