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I'm frustrated that all of a sudden it seems everyone my age is married or about to be married, so I'm left with slim pickings.
I had what I thought was a really great date a little over a year ago, but he never called. I did actually need legal advice once after our date, so I contacted him online for advice, which he kindly gave. As payment, I pre-paid a lunch for him at the cafe in his office building and sent him a message to retrieve it. He was very appreciative. I never bothered him again. This past weekend, I ran into him while out with a mutual friend. He recognized me, refused to say hi, and only addressed my friend. You'd think I'd done something to him! Where's the civility and maturity? That right there confirmed everything I needed to know about him, and my friends who know him continually tell me I dodged a bullet by not dating him. He seemed so nice and normal, though! Oh well.
My other latest issue with dating, though it doesn't make me bitter, is the guy I like who clearly likes me, hasn't asked me out yet! I find that frustrating too. Of course, we rarely get a moment alone for him to ask, but I still want him to ask me. It's not like I'm getting any younger!
What I really think makes me bitter is couples, not the actual dating process (even though I could do without it). I get sick of being treated like a kid because I'm not married, especially by people still in their 20s! (I'm well into my 30s.) In my current city/job, I'm regularly treated as if I'm not fully an adult because I'm not married. When I was in NYC, no one around my age and even older was married, so I was never treated that way. I can't believe how pronounced it is here. That's what makes me bitter - that I'm somehow less of a person because I'm alone.
A lot of the people here, I think their bitterness comes from an engrained pattern of powerlessness -- which I expect affects many aspects of their lives, not just dating. They view life as a series of things that are done to them, rather than a series of choices they make, with the option of making different choices. There's also a ton of entitlement mixed in with that. The universe owes them a hot gf and there is nothing they can do to make themselves appeal to women. (Yes, it is contradictory.)
Jet, you sure do not seem like that, though.
Me, I don't feel bitter at all unless I read too much CDR. Then I have to reflect on my actual experiences in the real world and how opposite they are to the PUA BS, to remind myself that there is no actual problem . Sometimes I do think I should leave here, though, when the bitterness of the forum gets too overwhelming.
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Originally Posted by rlrl
a feeling like going on a job interview, a hopeless backwards feeling, a self conscious feeling, being uncomfortable about the idea of looking for companionship, like i would be seen as more desirable if i already had someone, a feeling of pointlesness and dread, having to reveal my salary, faults and misgivings to another person and believe me i do not make a lot of $$$ and i have a lot of misgivings in my life, a feeling that it will never work out and whats the use...
Why is revealing your faults and misgivings unpleasant? It's supposed to be wonderful, or at least cosy, to feel close and connected with another person enough that you can be your real self with them.
My other latest issue with dating, though it doesn't make me bitter, is the guy I like who clearly likes me, hasn't asked me out yet! I find that frustrating too. Of course, we rarely get a moment alone for him to ask, but I still want him to ask me. It's not like I'm getting any younger!
Katykat how long has it been? some men are dense when it comes to this and it took my boyfriend months to ask me out. I always tell people never to believe the "he's just not into you" garbage and take matters into your hands.
He's higher up at work and older, so I'd be more comfortable if he'd ask me out. I feel awkward asking out someone who is much more advanced professionally than I am. We've clearly been interested in one another for several months and take every opportunity to talk with one another, which used to happen several times a day. Now we're back to barely seeing each other at work, which has nothing to do with either of us, just how it is.
I was actually going to give him the perfect opportunity to ask me out or suggest we do something last week because I heard he was staying around for the holiday. Unfortunately, my schedule changed last minute and I didn't get to run into him like I had planned. I need a new plan now.
i suppose you could say that I was bitter for a short period of time because I can't find a date, but I'm definitely not bitter anymore, and I usually cheer those people on who are still pursuing and forming relationships. I also don't bring up dating to my friends either, but most of them either aren't interested in women/can't find a woman/or are already married.
If people were honest with themselves, a lot more would be saying this. This was certainly the case for me when I was dating. Bad choices resulting in more bad choices. Some are legitimately a victim of circumstance. But most are a victim of their own bad decisions. I applaud you for being so honest about it.
If people were honest with themselves, a lot more would be saying this. This was certainly the case for me when I was dating. Bad choices resulting in more bad choices. Some are legitimately a victim of circumstance. But most are a victim of their own bad decisions. I applaud you for being so honest about it.
I do too. If I would just stop trying to read people. Curse my intuition! And analytical ways!
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. Sometimes I do think I should leave here, though, when the bitterness of the forum gets too overwhelming.
