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It has been several weeks I think that I have posted a thread about falling for a guy 17 years older and who I can't have. Come to find out he's seeing someone. I know it's a sign for me to move on but I can't and am feeling like sh*t. I feel my heart tense up and I can't stop thinking about the guy no matter what I do. I have been writing, cleaning, movie, spending time with friends, eating ice cream, working out, happy hour, talking to other guys but none of that make me forget him. He's always on the back of my mind and when I let my defenses down, there he's.
I am obsessing.
Writing and admitting to it really helps. Thank you for listening everyone
Last edited by Mimi85; 08-06-2013 at 08:41 AM..
Reason: misspelled
It has been several weeks I think that I have posted a thread about falling for a guy 17 years older and who I can't have. Come to find out he's seeing someone. I know it's a sign for me to move on but I can't feeling like sh*t. I feel my heart tense up and I can't stop thinking about the guy no matter what I do. I have been writing, cleaning, movie, spending time with friends, eating ice cream, working out, happy hour, talking to other guys but none of that make me forget him. He's always on the back of my mind and when I let my defenses down, there he's.
I am obsessing.
Writing and admitting to it really helps. Thank you for listening everyone
It just takes time. As long as it doesn't interrupt your everyday life, just let time take its course. At least you recognize it's an obsession and are trying to work though it. That's a pretty big milestone.
Loving someone intensely and not getting much back. Just enough to keep me going and hoping. I wish he would see somebody else so I could hate him and at least try to move on.
I lost someone I was deeply and passionately in love with years ago. It was a very slow end to our relationship, precipitated by her moving out of town for a job and us trying to let the situation linger at a distance for a couple years.
After it ended, I took it very hard and ended up letting it get me a little depressed and eating up a few years of my life. I lost confidence in myself and my ability to find or be happy with someone. I went on a few miserable dates, but sort of gave up dating over that time. I focuses on other areas and enjoyed myself too, but my relationship life was a train wreck!
It is definately difficult to move beyond someone you have a lot of passion for!
It just takes time. As long as it doesn't interrupt your everyday life, just let time take its course. At least you recognize it's an obsession and are trying to work though it. That's a pretty big milestone.
Thank you Jilla. It doesn't interrupt my daily life that much...I wish I am the carefree, lighthearted person I used to be, you know? I thought I was jaded until he creeped into my heart. You are right...I hope time goes by faster. It doesn't help that I have to see him everyday
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
I am in a similar boat.
Loving someone intensely and not getting much back. Just enough to keep me going and hopipng. I wish he would see somebody else so I could hate him and at least try to move on.
Sucks.
What are you hopping for?
At least you are in a better boat. He is not seeing someone. My "passion" is seeing someone and I am still obsessed with him. I don't hate him. I am happy for him; at the same time, jeaulous and hurt. What is really bad is that he doesn't know all of this. I hope he never knows, but still...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24
I lost someone I was deeply and passionately in love with years ago. It was a very slow end to our relationship, precipitated by her moving out of town for a job and us trying to let the situation linger at a distance for a couple years.
After it ended, I took it very hard and ended up letting it get me a little depressed and eating up a few years of my life. I lost confidence in myself and my ability to find or be happy with someone. I went on a few miserable dates, but sort of gave up dating over that time. I focuses on other areas and enjoyed myself too, but my relationship life was a train wreck!
It is definately difficult to move beyond someone you have a lot of passion for!
I am sorry. You were really impacted by that relationship. Are you 100% over it now? I wish I have an on and off switch for my heart. It would be easier
"It is definately difficult to move beyond someone you have a lot of passion for!" -->you are right.
I am hoping for him to realize that I am the perfect woman for him. I am everything his ex gf's weren't.
We are dating since 1,5 years and no progress. No word of love.
He often goes out of his way to do things for me, that no other guy has ever done for me before. Then he just disappears for weeks and I am sitting at home, like a teenager waiting for a call.
He is the best partner I ever had and he is the worst partner I ever had. But it seems that being nice to me uses up his battery and he then needs to be weird again for a while to recharge. It is like a roller coaster.
He is half native american, so he comes with alot of spirituality and weirdness. Which can be fascinating and exhausting. He is also so handsome, dark skin, muscles, very tall, shiny black hair, I can just stare at him forever and be proud to be with him. Then he drops me a second later and I am thinking "WHY AM I DOING THIS?"
I was married before and know I have been loved very deerly, but ex hubby never was as great as that guy. The breakup was less dramatic as all the little fights are with my current bf.
So are you going out with the guy who is going out with other women also?
I am hoping for him to realize that I am the perfect woman for him. I am everything his ex gf's weren't.
We are dating since 1,5 years and no progress. No word of love.
He often goes out of his way to do things for me, that no other guy has ever done for me before. Then he just disappears for weeks and I am sitting at home, like a teenager waiting for a call.
He is the best partner I ever had and he is the worst partner I ever had. But it seems that being nice to me uses up his battery and he then needs to be weird again for a while to recharge. It is like a roller coaster.
He is half native american, so he comes with alot of spirituality and weirdness. Which can be fascinating and exhausting.
I was married before and know I have been loved very deerly, but ex hubby never was as great as that guy. The breakup was less dramatic as all the little fights are with my current bf.
Not knowing if I ever find such a guy ever again, leaves me hoping that bf grows up and realizes that I am the one (which will probably never happen).
Wow, you had been through a lot relationship-wise. I don't know if I can handle it if I am in your situation. You are very strong. Perhaps you should choose someone who "niceness" is second nature to him so that his "nice battery" will not be used up. It is really unfair to you. From your post, you sound very down to earth and nice, and you deserve a nice guy who treat you well. Maybe he doesn't deserve you.
Do you treat yourself well? Do you put yourself first?
I deserve one too. The guy I have a crush on is the nicest guy I have ever met. If he knows how I feel about him, he would make me sit down and we would talk and process it together, which is what I fear. LoL.
No, I am not going out with the guy. He is my superior at work. It is just a crush that I cannot get over. I hope he doesn't know. I have been giving him the cold shoulder because I don't want him to know that I have a crush on him, it will make things awkward. Sighh...I will try to cope on my own and hopefully that I will find another guy who is similar to him but younger? If I am single in 2-3 years, I will definitely try to connect with him somehow. But until then, there's nothing I can do. It just a hopeless situation. Plus, based on our position, he would have too much "power" over me. He's older, wiser, and in a higher position. I think I am an independent person, so I am not sure I like to have someone who is more experienced than me. Plus we are in the same field, so that means he knows more than I do. Because of those reasons, I don't want to mess things up between us now. I don't want to lose him forever.
Last edited by Mimi85; 08-06-2013 at 09:24 AM..
Reason: misspelled
I always pick bad guys and put the other person first. So I am not that strong after all, rather weak . Strong in real life, with business, etc. but very weak when it comes to relationships. I probably would never pick a real nice guy, because I need the challenge, which in turn causes me to never be in a healthy, good relationship.
So "your" guy, you are not going out with him? Are you friends? Maybe he wants to go out with you but doesn't know you feel the same?
I always pick bad guys and put the other person first. So I am not that strong after all, rather weak . Strong in real life, with business, etc. but very weak when it comes to relationships. I probably would never pick a real nice guy, because I need the challenge, which in turn causes me to never be in a healthy, good relationship.
So "your" guy, you are not going out with him? Are you friends? Maybe he wants to go out with you but doesn't know you feel the same?
As long as you are happy and satisfied, it doesn't matter. I think over time, you learn to pick and choose differently. Hmmm, looking over at my past relationship, I think my choice of guys are similar. The "current guy" is pretty similar to the other exes LoL That is scary. I am glad I am not dating him afterall. Is it challenging enough facing the world (career, etc...); why do you need a challenging relationship?
We are not "friends"; he's my boss. We don't go out. He finds me pretty. But going through a relationship is not possible right now. I am starting out with a new career and it's a company unspoken "policy" that you don't date internally, especially with your boss.
No, I am never happy. And I am 36, so chances of getting "cured" are rather slim.
He is your boss? Oh, better get over it quickly or find a new job!!!! Or find a new job and THEN contact him again for a date and see what happens.
You just started working there recently? Can you transfer internally?
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. Strong in real life, with business, etc. but very weak when it comes to relationships. I probably would never pick a real nice guy, because I need the challenge, which in turn causes me to never be in a healthy, good relationship. 
