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And, equally importantly, do you assume your date can tell right away whether they are attracted to you?
In your personal experience (not theory), does the rapidity with which the two of you determine attraction have any predictive power re: how intense the sexual connection will be down the road?
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My answers:
I can almost never tell at the first meeting. However, if I am not actively turned OFF by the person at first meeting, I almost always develop attraction at the second meeting. Sometimes it takes until the third.
Men I date seem to always be able to tell at first meeting. Women, I am not sure.
My experience is that, the rare times I do feel attraction right away, the sexual connection when it happens is 'meh'. The times when I take longer to feel attracted, it is much stronger. But, since I rarely feel that immediate attraction, there is only a small sample set .
Well, I'm a man, and since we men are "visual creatures", I will have to say yes. Now, depending on her reaction/attentiveness to me can determine whether that attraction stays.
I'll give an example: I once met a really attractive girl on OKCupid. We talked (on the phone ) for a week. I picked her up for our date. As she walked towards the car, I thought she was gorgeous. However, the moment she strapped into the seat, I could already tell she wasn't interested...the halfway smile was a dead giveaway. This girl chatted on the phone for the entire 20 minute car ride to the restaurant. Me, not being rude and also very hungry, decided to go on with the date anyway. Once there, she was very quiet and didn't bother interacting with the chefs (hibachi restaurant). Acted very stuck-up as well. By the end of the date, I found her very, very ugly. Dropped her off home and that was the end of that.
On the flip side, I met my ex on the same site. Initially, I wasn't all that attracted to her pictures, but thought I'd give it a shot. After a month of messaging back and forth, we finally decided to meet up. Upon our first meeting, I thought she was cute. As we talked and talked throughout the night, my attraction to her rose immensely. We dated for a while after that.
I can usually tell from the conversation before the meet. The way she talks, the words she uses, how often, her tone, etc. I have noticed a lot of women are not good at conversation in the beginning or they are just expecting me to do all the work....or maybe I am not that interesting lol.
In my experience, I'm attracted right away (if I'm going to be attracted) and when I'm not attracted, the attraction doesn't increase on subsequent dates.
And, equally importantly, do you assume your date can tell right away whether they are attracted to you?
In your personal experience (not theory), does the rapidity with which the two of you determine attraction have any predictive power re: how intense the sexual connection will be down the road?
--
My answers:
I can almost never tell at the first meeting. However, if I am not actively turned OFF by the person at first meeting, I almost always develop attraction at the second meeting. Sometimes it takes until the third.
Men I date seem to always be able to tell at first meeting. Women, I am not sure.
My experience is that, the rare times I do feel attraction right away, the sexual connection when it happens is 'meh'. The times when I take longer to feel attracted, it is much stronger. But, since I rarely feel that immediate attraction, there is only a small sample set .
I can always tell if there is sexual/physical attraction at the first meeting. Other than that, no. Emotional connection takes a very long time to develop, at least for me.
I can usually tell fairly early on if there is any type of chemistry, but a true affection takes a while to develop. I've had some absolutely amazing dates that lasted hours and hours where we connected amazingly well only for the guy to disappear and never contact me again, so I have zero idea what's going on in their minds.
Well, I'm a man, and since we men are "visual creatures", I will have to say yes. Now, depending on her reaction/attentiveness to me can determine whether that attraction stays.
I'll give an example: I once met a really attractive girl on OKCupid. We talked (on the phone ) for a week. I picked her up for our date. As she walked towards the car, I thought she was gorgeous. However, the moment she strapped into the seat, I could already tell she wasn't interested...the halfway smile was a dead giveaway. This girl chatted on the phone for the entire 20 minute car ride to the restaurant. Me, not being rude and also very hungry, decided to go on with the date anyway. Once there, she was very quiet and didn't bother interacting with the chefs (hibachi restaurant). Acted very stuck-up as well. By the end of the date, I found her very, very ugly. Dropped her off home and that was the end of that.
On the flip side, I met my ex on the same site. Initially, I wasn't all that attracted to her pictures, but thought I'd give it a shot. After a month of messaging back and forth, we finally decided to meet up. Upon our first meeting, I thought she was cute. As we talked and talked throughout the night, my attraction to her rose immensely. We dated for a while after that.
This is a perfect example of how it's not all about looks! Attraction can grow based on personality. Yes, even for guys (who here on C-D usually insist there has to be physical attraction from the get-go)--a 6 can become an 8 or a 9 with the right personality. Thanks for posting!
and judging from what i've been told (after hooking up) by women whom i met online, they were able to tell on the first date as well
although there could be exceptions to this since i don't conduct exit polls. perhaps the ones who liked me immediately were just more vocal about it
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) for a week. I picked her up for our date. As she walked towards the car, I thought she was gorgeous. However, the moment she strapped into the seat, I could already tell she wasn't interested...the halfway smile was a dead giveaway. This girl chatted on the phone for the entire 20 minute car ride to the restaurant. Me, not being rude and also very hungry, decided to go on with the date anyway. Once there, she was very quiet and didn't bother interacting with the chefs (hibachi restaurant). Acted very stuck-up as well. By the end of the date, I found her very, very ugly. Dropped her off home and that was the end of that.
Other than that, no. Emotional connection takes a very long time to develop, at least for me. 
