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As a follow up to my previous post, I've had 2 women since I moved to Oklahoma actively pursue me upon first meeting me. wouldn't say these 2 women approached me exactly, but jumped into conversations I was having with other people, and then gave me their phone numbers without me asking. Both times I was at a sports bar to watch my football game. I was new to town and had casually met a few other people and gotten into conversations. They must have approached me because I was just there for the game, and not on the prowl. It was obvious I wasn't paying any attention to them. I guess the message there is to ignore women while doing your own thing, and MAYBE they'll approach. But I wasn't attracted to either one. The only time hot women approached was at a club, which is also very rare.
I've turned down a handful, but because of how they presented themselves and none of them were in my best interests. Mainly mega overwight, poor, bossy single mothers. There were a couple childless women who were bi-polar (One liked to cut herself, the other was into wicca) As a guy who spent his 20s never get a regular woman's attention, I was glad I had a spine to see the kind of dangers in-store for me if I caved in.
Even a couple married cougars, which surprises the hell out of me to this day, really pushed their luck. Funny thing about working in maintenance is that they expect you to do house calls while "hubby is away".
Probably at least 80% if we're going to talk about all the stuff that has happened online. (I've never done online stuff despite being active on a site for years...)
That number includes all the ones I've approached and it was reciprocated, but I lost that initial interest for one reason or the other.
Why? I can be a bit picky when it comes to dating...
Just because a woman likes me, it doesn't immediately follow I'm going to date her.
Even outside of online stuff it's probably 50%-60%. When women tell me they like me...or else let it be known that they like me (because women don't do it directly sometimes) I kind of instinctively look elsewhere.
I remember once in my more clueless days I found myself on a girl's bed listening to love songs wondering how it had happened, and more importantly, how I could get out of it....(She wasn't pretty...) Turns out "I want you to see my room" is a euphemism for "I want you to see my vagina"
Last edited by dub dub II; 07-12-2013 at 11:05 PM..
I would say null as no one has officially asked me out. I believe there were a few instances in the past where women approach me, and if I wasn't so damn shy back then I could have gotten a date from it. I probably made it seem like I didn't want to talk to them since the conversations didn't last very long with me speaking so little.
I just got a flashback, the first time I was asked out was when a girl in 7th grade asked if I wanted to watch a movie at the theaters. That must have been very tense for her to go through, especially when I casually said "no" and continued what I was doing.
Before age 17 I sort of "turned down" a few girls, or in other words didn't take advantage of the opportunity. It was because I was afraid of not knowing what I was doing. I lost my virginity at 17.
I wish girls approached guys more. The last time anything even close to a girl approaching me was a couple years ago at Jimmy John's. She basically vaguely hinted that if I asked, we could get together.
I think that is a real possibility. I'm talking about times where a woman made it so plain I couldn't miss it. But it's entirely possible some of these guys have simply failed to pick up on the subtle signals a woman is sending them.
Only very rarely does that happen.
I think it may have happened Sunday when I was in line at 7-11. I found her leathery skin a turnoff. In other words, she spent way too much time in her life in the sun or under a heat lamp. No attraction for me. Looks are secondary to me in most cases.
I could have missed a signal here or there but even not so obvious ones are still very rare. Women hardly ever approach me in the 30 years of my adult life that I have spent single and unattached including currently. I have never had one come up to me and ask for my phone number to go out on a date.
I've speculated that some women actually do approach men, but since it's never happened to me I wasn't sure. That certainly doesn't do my confidence levels any favors, though.
I don't think it should affect your confidence. I think it is true that women want the man to approach, I'm just saying it has happened to me on many an occasion. My advice would be not to worry about it and that if you see a woman you want, then you should approach her, just be prepared for rejection.
haven't been approached in a very long time, and not counting the times i didn't realise they were trying to hit on me until afterwards I'd say... maybe 25% turndowns...
the other way around I get turned down basically all of the time, like 99%...
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) Turns out "I want you to see my room" is a euphemism for "I want you to see my vagina"
