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I don't enjoy this sort of drama in my life, so I would not entangle myself in it by dating a guy who 1. lives with his ex, 2. has kids with his ex, and 3. dated his ex for ten years without ever bothering to marry her even after kids came into the picture. Number one would be a deal-breaker. Number two would be a non-issue if appropriate boundaries existed (which they don't here.) Number three would be a major red flag. The three of these things together? This is not a good situation.
And yes, it is always best to assume that how you see someone treat others is how you will eventually be treated. If you want to be in her shoes one day, continue on this path. If it's unacceptable, keep walking.
I'm dating a guy whose ex gf (never married after ten years) just moved back into house after he had moved on to dating me. Her name is on house deed. She said he had to get out, the house is hers. Still, he's living with her now after couple weeks and says he needs time to figure out what to do to disentangle. He's got kids there living with him. She is vindictive type. Says he wants relationship with potential marriage with me, but he's hanging out with her as they never really disentangled themselves and had a relationship of sorts (nonsexual) last couple of years. He wants to see me to keep our relationship alive until he can get out. Am I am idiot for thinking he'll leave her? If he is seeing me, is it cheating even though they are not married and never were? Would he do this to me down the road? Help! I feel we are great together, but scared this will end up in a world of hurt for me. Should I just date him and others while he sorts this out or stop seeing him altogether. It is very hard to do that. I already tried to stop talking, but I couldn't seem to do it. We had gotten very close.
Even if he wasn't cheating, why put up with all of this ridiculous drama? This situation is a mine field. Plenty of men out there to choose from. Go find someone who is completely "disentangled" and free to have a real relationship with you.
If they were realy broken up they would have straightened out the house deed thing. It would no longer have both their names on it. (Or is is just hers?)
20 bucks says he is telling her she is the real gf and you are just a fling. Or she does not know you exist.
Cheating or not depending on your definition of cheating (getting physical I assume) he isn't showing you as much commitment as you'd like (I also assume.)
You are not stupid. But be smart and DO NOT wait for him.
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