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Old 07-14-2013, 05:33 PM
 
10 posts, read 49,805 times
Reputation: 13

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I need help figuring out how to proceed about my situation. I met a guy last year. We've known each other for about a little over a year now. On our first date, we ended up having sex. We dated for six months then I decided to leave because I felt it wasn't going anywhere.

About a month after I stopped seeing him, he started texting me saying he missed me and that we should start all over again. I did not entertain his offer and never went out with him again. He's been very persistent of convincing me to go out on a date with him again. Once, he called drunk telling me how much he likes me and that I should open my heart and give him another chance. He's been trying for six months then last month was his birthday and he made a request to spend his birthday with me. Since it was his birthday, I agreed and we went out. Since then we've been out three times and we both had fun each time.

Here's my dilemma. I put my guard up because I got hurt by him before. I really liked him but I had to leave because I didn't want to waste more time. And doing that hurt me so bad. Now, I don't feel the same way about him but I've noticed that the old feeling is slowly coming back the more I spend time with him. He said "I love you" to me. He said it when we went out for his birthday and he's been saying it to me through text and in person since then.I feel that he does love me. He treats me well. He texts me everyday which he never did before. He said I'm awesome and out of all the girls he has ever met I'm the best of all. That I'm beautiful in and out. He said that he's so lucky that he's with me. He makes time to see me and gets upset if I don't want to see him. He even has ideas of what we would be doing this coming week together. Also, he said that I could come over to his house anytime I want.

I'm not sure if I should give it another chance. I accepted that what we had before was something more like a FWB. Can a one night stand or FWB can turned into something more? Can a guy who only sees a girl as a FWB would develop strong feelings like love? Please give me some advice. Thanks.
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Old 07-14-2013, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,930 posts, read 11,721,722 times
Reputation: 13170
You'll have to find out and get hurt or have a happy relationship or never know. I can't do any better than you can.
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Old 07-14-2013, 06:49 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,993,089 times
Reputation: 6849
Yes, guys fall in love with FWBs all the time.

I think the thing to do is to tell him (if this is true for you, it's how stuff usually works) that you two can start where you left off, and go forward from there, but you cannot start at the beginning again.

If you two broke up because he did not want a commitment, for example, he needs to start with the commitment now, before sex, and then progress to engagement, marriage, etc. -- or towards whatever it is that you want.

IOW, make sure you are not just a booty call.
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Old 07-14-2013, 07:04 PM
 
2,098 posts, read 2,500,041 times
Reputation: 9744
Agree with what Nila said. I would be willing to give him another shot IF you two could have a frank discussion about the relationship, where it was going, and what you both need. I would ask what he thinks would be different this time. I would be blunt about why you didn't like what it was before. And if you're not already sleeping with him again, I would hold off on that a bit until you have a chance to see if he's serious. There is the danger he's only putting forth all this effort to get you to agree to sleep with him again. Like Nila's saying, see if he's willing to do the other stuff first.
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