A new Season has dawned, it will be ok (couple, settle, travel)

[Pikantari]

A is up and at 'em. L never wants to get up, but finally she is, looking for clothes that were'ready' last night.

Sun, I looked at your info. Several months ago, maybe not so long ago, I called legal aide, the next county over, one of our patients, this was back in September I think, and he gave me the name of the person to speak with here where I live. He spoke with me for a good long time, and gave me a lot of tips, I wish he was representing me...

I went into legal aide here and they acted like I was the plague, that day, they told me I had to call a number and find out if I qualify, and that I couldn't just come in there.

Made me wonder if I wasn't in scrubs, and not clean, etc, if they would have done the same thing. I read over all of the info in your post, went to their site, and it has good info, still, I think I will find myself calling him again, not in my county. Maybe he can talk to someone else who is in my county.

I was talking to him, I was being mr nice guy and he was like no, he did this and this why do you trust him, and i thought for a min, and I thought, well, I shouldn't.

Maybe he can refer me to someone. Kalo gave me another name yesterday, the first one, she doesn't take these cases anymore, they are too involved. Ya think? I imagine it is really taxing on a person. It's taxing on me.

Who can I go to when the father is restricting himself from the kids, hence the kids from him? Its not as though there is visitation in place, or custody for that matter. I am writing it down, I am trying to meet him.

Marlow, I am not driving all the way over there. He, for three weeks now, has been saving gas, I would think he has saved enough by now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

In other light, my coffee is good, both kids are finally ready, A goes outside to the bus in 5 minutes, L in 25. She has just now finally come down dressed. Still, I am tip toing around her.

No school tomorrow. The kids want to know what we are doing fun this weekend. Hmm....I dont have much 'fun' money.

Will have to figure something out, among the house work I need to do. I got a message from UPS giving me a track number and that my package would be here today between 8am and 6pm and that someone would need to be here to sign for it.... I wont be here.

For those of you who dont know me from before Where is the Love....today, I wear my Shrek ears, they make me happy. Can't wear them to work tho...

Dont know why not... lmao.

Oh also, with why not bring the kids to him, he is never there. You cannot reach him during the day. It is like on the weekend, he disappears into thin air. I dont know where he goes, what he does, if he has a gf, I have not a clue. And another thing with that, he says it is not enough time for him.

Its only Thursday.

[pirate girl]

The courts will not require you to allow him to come to your house, Robyn. And again, I do think you should document that he is allowed to see the kids and not let this turn into a war of words. This situation has the potential to make you look bad in court and each week that passes it will just be worse.

At this point,you cannot prove that IB won't meet you. Just like IB can't prove that you won't allow him to see the kids- you are running the risk of being accused of parental alienation. If your lawyer won't help you, you NEED to send that certified letter I recommended ASAP.

[rockky]

Originally Posted by I love the Bears

Well - after the custody hearing he probably will be able to pick them up friday nights and bring them back sunday nights - e/o weekend. But if you say that you do not want him at your house - and you tell them why - they will respect that.
I have been thinking about what I would do in your shoes and what I would advise you to do. Personally I would not mediate with my ex - we tried that once and a few weeks into it he started with the "well- i just went easy on you - the judge wouldn't make me do this....blah-blah-blah-blah......." I don't see that ib has the spirit of mediation - he has the bully mentality and you just don't negotiate with bullies.
We really can't answer that for you - do YOU think that HE will be reasonable and open to compromise? You could try to write up the standard agreement and send it to his lawyer and say that you will agree to ONLY this.
It's your call - do you think he'll respect that?

Not bothering with mediation was my first thought as well. You really can't negotiate with someone who is never wrong and demands their own way to the point of lying and manipulating to get it.

But (you knew there had to be a 'but' ) would it be in Robyn's interest to go to one session with DAIB. Then the mediator would see that DAIB is demanding and unreasonable. Robyn will have made an effort in the eyes of family court.

It would not be pleasant. Robyn, hopefully, you have come far enough to understand that mediation will not be successful with a personality like your
2BX. Don't expect anything positive, and you won't be disappointed.

Wouldn't it be a hoot if he went into mediation, put on his 'nice guy hat', and agreed to all sorts of things in order to look good in front of authority!?! Then he figures out that he is legally responsible to follow his agreement to the letter of the law. Actually, I think it would be the responsibility of the mediator to make sure both sides were balanced, but one can always hope. Muhahahahahahahahaha!!

Mornin' hugs!!! ((((Robyn))))

[FLPL75]

robyn
depending on what is in the package and if you feel it would be safe on the proch
you can leave a signed note on the front door saying "ok to leave package"
our UPS guy hide our packages behind the plants

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by pirate girl

The courts will not require you to allow him to come to your house, Robyn. And again, I do think you should document that he is allowed to see the kids and not let this turn into a war of words. This situation has the potential to make you look bad in court and each week that passes it will just be worse.

At this point,you cannot prove that IB won't meet you. Just like IB can't prove that you won't allow him to see the kids- you are running the risk of being accused of parental alienation. If your lawyer won't help you, you NEED to send that certified letter I recommended ASAP.

Typed it out, gonna look over it at work with my bud

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by Karla with a K

robyn
depending on what is in the package and if you feel it would be safe on the proch
you can leave a signed note on the front door saying "ok to leave package"
our UPS guy hide our packages behind the plants

I dont know who it is from or how much of a pckg it is, talked to my sister the other day and she was getting all kinds of info fr me, I dont know. I dont have karla plants, either...

[Magnolia Bloom]

Originally Posted by Marlow

I'm wondering what he would say if you offered to take them to his house on Saturday morning. It's certainly not your responsibility, but I'm just wondering how far he's willing to go with his a$$holiness. If you took them on Sat. and he brought them back on Sun. he could hardly complain about gasoline.

The man is such an idiot.

I think this is a great idea. It would be a visible sign to your kids (and the court) that you are doing what you can to let them spend time with their dad. If he is not there at the agreed upon time, just take them home. Then set the same thing up for the next weekend and if not there, then no more.

It would be calling his bluff.

[ElizaTeal]

Originally Posted by HIF

I think this is a great idea. It would be a visible sign to your kids (and the court) that you are doing what you can to let them spend time with their dad. If he is not there at the agreed upon time, just take them home. Then set the same thing up for the next weekend and if not there, then no more.

It would be calling his bluff.

Robyn this is a good idea. At the very least it shows you are willing to help him see his kids. Friday visitation is out due to homework. You can drop them off at his house on Saturday morning. Wait inside your parked car until the children are in the door. He can drop the kids off at your curb and wait until they are safely in your house. You really don't need a legal expert to resolve this issue. It's kind of silly that the children can't visit a parent because two adults can't reach an agreement on a meeting location.

[I love the Bears]

I do agree that you should try this - but the problem here is the underlying issue of ib trying to control everything and have you adjust your life and schedule due to his whims. If it's not this - it will be something else. In the eyes of the courts however - it is a very good idea. It will either work and you can cross this off your tension list - or it won't and he'll even look like a bigger jerk - it will also show the kids that you are really trying here. I still say don't let him come to your house - meet him down the street or something......you don't want to put the children in the position to tell him he can't come in. Cause he will try it - he'll show up early or whatever just to see how far you'll let him push it. And it is stupid - you're meeting him more than halfway - you might want to mapquest it to show the mileage both ways......put that in the letter.......
I know all of this feels like a big huge bad thing and to you and the kids it is terrible - but it is not that big of a deal in the eyes of the court and he is going to look bad on this no matter what you do or don't do. You are not telling him no........the certified letter stating that since you two can't communicate effectively without fighting at this point you wanted to be sure that he understood that you are not keeping the kids from him....blah-blah-blah.....throw in there the homework things - "since you have a no homework - fun time only weekend policy..." His lawyer will LOVE to hear that!

[sun]

I would try to follow up with that lawyer in the other county and try to obtain a few referrals from him. Don't just hire a lawyer on the spot unless you're comfortable with him and his fee structure and feel that you really need and can afford one.
Your may need some important legal advice at some point, even if it's only about motions that he can recommend and help guide you to write that you can then file yourself. I'm surprised that your current lawyer wouldn't help you out in that respect if he knows that you have financial issues. Maybe you can ask him or another prospective lawyer about this alternative.
Have you made any payments to him yet, even small token ones? Does he realize that you feel vulnerable? Maybe he'd be willing to accept smaller fees for legal advice and custody motions only when necessary, with you representing yourself? I'm only suggesting this as a last resort because he seems to be close and familiar with your case already. Maybe he's trying to force you into mediation by asking for a large retainer and not willing to work with you regarding the fees...
It's just like when you were moving and you needed help and you were desperate enough to ask various people for it and some of the "angels" responded.
I wish that you could ask for your portion of the 401K during mediation or the support hearing to pay for future legal expenses. It's only either a verbal or written motion (or request) and the worst that could happen is that it could be denied. Maybe your lawyer can help you out with this if he's still representing you for support and knowing that it could help pay for a legal retainer and you're sort of desperate for a lump sum of money. (See how desperate minds think? Necessity is the mother of invention you know! )

This reminds of the Rolling Stones song that says "You can't always get what you want, but you get what you neeeeed!"

Let's hope that the Lord somehow provides for you over time....