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Mommy, Have you ever believed something all of your life, only to find out it isn't true?
His teacher extended the turn in date of the science project, I think hardly no one had theirs to turn in. We were up to nearly 12 in the morning last night.
He had done one, and I asked what the experiment was, and it was off the wall, something he could not have possibly done...
He had told me, Mommy, I love you so much.... Mommy, you're the best. Things along that line.
I had finally laid down on the couch and he said he was done and showed me the off the wall project that he could not have done, I said nope, can't turn this in.
That was at about 920. I told him to get in the shower, he was upset, and said What am I going to do? I told him to just get in the shower.
I got 2 glasses, and put lukewarm water in them, got a cold tablet and a softgel cold med, plopped them in, one in ea glass, at 927 and let the exp begin. I marked the findings, as they came along, and as soon as he got out I told him to come down. I let him take over what I was doing, and that is when he asked me that question.
I had been marking down what was happening to each pill at each very minute.
Mommy, Have you ever believed something all of your life, only to find out it wasn't true?
I asked what he meant.
He said, well, what if all of your life you thought the word eat was spelled 'eet' and one day, you found out it was eat the whole time. Has that ever happened to you?
I said, Yes, it has. I told him I had the feeling this had to do with a bit more than something so simple than the spelling of a word, though.
He said, man, I have to stop being so philosophical.
We went to bed nearly midnight, once all of his work was documented and then typed and printed. He said Mommy, why are you staying up for this part? I said because I am your Mommy. I would not be a good, responsible parent if I didn't see you all the way through, even if you did know about the project. I also told him that this no home work stuff had to end, he said I know Mommy.
Also, they were asking me yesterday as we were walking in the back door to the house if we were going to my sisters house for thanksgiving. I said that there was no way, with me not having a car, and I gave them a choice.
I said you guys can either go to Daddys on Thanksgiving, and be with him and his family, or it will be the three of us, here at the house, and he will get you on Friday.
They both, without thought, at the same time, said stay with me and him on Friday...
Its a mess, this with my needing a car.
Last edited by Pikantari; 11-21-2007 at 05:03 AM..
Mommy, Have you ever believed something all of your life, only to find out it isn't true?
I said, Yes, it has. I told him I had the feeling this had to do with a bit more than something so simple than the spelling of a word, though.
He said, man, I have to stop being so philosophical.
We went to bed nearly midnight, once all of his work was documented and then typed and printed. He said Mommy, why are you staying up for this part? I said because I am your Mommy. I would not be a good, responsible parent if I didn't see you all the way through, even if you did know about the project. I also told him that this no home work stuff had to end, he said I know Mommy.
Also, they were asking me yesterday as we were walking in the back door to the house if we were going to my sisters house for thanksgiving. I said that there was no way, with me not having a car, and I gave them a choice.
I said you guys can either go to Daddys on Thanksgiving, and be with him and his family, or it will be the three of us, here at the house, and he will get you on Friday.
They both, without thought, at the same time, said stay with me and him on Friday...
Its a mess, this with my needing a car.
I think that's wonderful that you all will be spending your first Thanksgiving day at Chimes. What a way to remember everything that you have to be thankful for. Even if things are tough right now. Just keep remembering what you told L, the Lord will never put more in front of us than we can handle. And my personal favorite, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
And you are getting stronger Rob, through all these trials and tribulations. The real you is emerging, maybe to give you renewed strength and belief in yourself that you can handle things being on your own. Yeah, it's tough, yeah it sucks, but just remember, you have it better than some out there. You have friends that love and support you and your efforts. Your best rl bud lives right down the road (granted, she's a bit of a grump at times ), but you have a wonderful home, beautiful healthy children and food in their stomachs....what's not to be thankful for?
Your best rl bud lives right down the road (granted, she's a bit of a grump at times ), but you have a wonderful home, beautiful healthy children and food in their stomachs....what's not to be thankful for?
Aww life, aint it grand?
It is, indeed... Now I need to get in the shower since Ls bus has come and gone. What do you guys think about As question?
It is, indeed... Now I need to get in the shower since Ls bus has come and gone. What do you guys think about As question?
I think you're spot on about thinking that A is referring to you and his sperm donor. I'd be as honest as I could with him without getting into details. He just needs to know that he is loved by both of you. If pressed, you can say that you were just not getting along anymore and thought it would be best for everyone involved to do split up. There's no telling what ib (he doesn't deserve his name in caps) has been telling him.
Good morning Robyn....I guess I'm feeling "philosophical" this morning, so bear with me
I have always believed and still do believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes those reasons aren't clear right away, sometimes it takes years for them to become clear, but I believe there is a reason for your car problems happening now, and hopefully I can explain it somewhat coherently (no coffee yet) <g>
I know you don't want to make any of the decisions in your separation/ divorce about money, which is good, to a certain extent, but not when you need help for you and the kids. I wonder if the car dying at this time, before you go before a judge, is to show you that it's okay to go for EVERYTHING you are entitled to regarding the monetary distribution of funds.
I can't remember when your support date is, but I would urge you strongly to do the following:
Make a list of your expenses - your rent, electric, clothes for kids, food, heat, gas, school supplies, medications, doctor appointments - EVERYTHING you need to spend money on....INCLUDING needing a car. Include in that list the fact that you cashed in your 401K for A's braces.....Didn't you also say you paid for TJ's vehicle at some point? If you did, put that in there too, as well as the things MsV pointed out - every little thing needs to go on that list and can be handed to the judge.
I know you don't want spousal support - but Robyn, you NEED spousal support as well as child support in order to survive.
I know you have taken the high road over and over and I know it goes against your nature to go for a lot of this, but you really have to. It's now a matter of necessity. Whatever the courts decide is fair, if it's more than you expected/wanted, that's fine - if it makes you feel better, you can always put whatever extra you don't need into a savings account for L and A, but take it - take whatever you are entitled to and are granted.
Here's where the "philosophical" part comes in - The car dying is a sign, perhaps, telling you it's okay to go for anything and everything you are entitled to - it shows you that you need extra income and right now that income has to come from TJ - he has less expenses than you do, he makes more than you do. You need the money and the car is telling you it's okay to go after it......I just re-read that and it sounds "weird" but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say. You aren't trying to "scr*w TJ" - you are simply going for what you and the kids are entitled to and deserve.
A is a deep thinker - I would suspect his questions last night were related to his "expectation" that parents always stay together...or it could be that he always thought his dad was someone to look up to and now he's seeing his flaws and that's disconcerting to him. The fact that both kids want to be with you on Thursday kind of supports that "theory" - He is realizing that Mom is the one he can always depend on, Dad not so much. It's a hard thing for a child to accept, but he's handling it very well, IMO. He's questioning things, that's good. L's meltdowns might also be a sign that she's starting to realize that Dad isn't the person she thought he was, it may be her disappointment and frustration coming out in the only way she knows how to express it. Kids and wives, as well, seem to depend on the father/husband to be the "strong" person, the "reliable" person - when that doesn't happen, everything goes out of kilter for awhile as the ideas work themselves out. You are showing the kids, and even TJ, that you are a strong, reliable person. Who knows, through the years, watching how you and TJ interacted, and I'm sure hearing TJ say things about your health, made the kids think YOU were the "weak" one - Now they are seeing how strong you truly are - it's a wonderful thing for them to see and feel, but it's also contrary to what they were told, either verbally or subliminally, so they are "off kilter." Good grief, does any of this make any sense?
In any case, please, make up that list of expenses and what you make each month (and to the best of your knowledge what TJ makes each month) to present to the judge and ask for spousal support as well as child support and let the judge decide what is fair based on those figures.
I'm going to shut up now and get that coffee....I'm glad you have Thursday figured out - you may not be able to spend the day with your brothers, sisters, etc., but you will be spending it with the two most important people in your life - your children....and that is priceless!
Mommy, Have you ever believed something all of your life, only to find out it wasn't true?
You have some son! My mom always said that the smart ones keep you on your toes more when raising them, but do better than the rest as adults!
If this is brought up again, it would be a good opportunity to share how sometimes things that aren't as we expected can ultimately be better than we thought.
They used to think that the world was flat, that you would just sail off the edge if you went too far. Just imagine how they felt when they discovered new lands.
And then, for another time, there is the butterfly analogy. Leaving all that is behind only to discover a more wonderful, different world.
This must be philosophical Wednesday.....we're all getting prepped to really remember what we all have to be thankful for tomorrow!
Your children are so lucky to have you. The fact that your young man speaks to you this way is such a blessing. Both of your children talk to you pretty openly - but a teenage boy actually talking about his feelings - even in a round about way is impressive!
Did they always talk to you like this?
Enjoy your Chimes holiday! What did you do in years past?
I can't wait to put the parade on and football too!
I still can't rep, but I want to ditto Windy several times over!! I also believe things happen for a reason. I have no idea why the car problems happened or how it may or may not tie in to going to your sister's, but, Robyn, there is a reason. Just know that powers beyond our little world are taking care of you and the kids in these stressful times. You are doing your part by accepting the situation and staying strong, seeking other options, and growing personally until things resolve.
A.'s comment about life is probably part of his journey to find ways to cope. He must be a logical, ordered thinker. His life right now is neither logical or ordered. There's no other way for you to do this right now. You are making things as tolerable as anyone could. The situation is simply stressful. He is seeing his parents as individuals rather than a unit. He is seeing their personal strengths and weaknesses. He is seeing two human beings, and trying to make sense of it all. Good for him!!!!! He will be both pleased and disappointed. That's how it works as we mature. Your guy is growin' up and doing it quite well I might add. This is an experience that is allowing him to find his inner strength and intellectual reasoning skill. He (and you) should be very proud. Smart kid!!
I'd let him direct where the conversation goes. I hope I would. It would be drivin' me nuts wondering where this came from. Maybe you could just offer that our worlds become larger as we grow up, and praise his ability to see things from an adult perspective. Not many kids his age are able to do that. Right now, at this age, it's gonna be all about him....how it effects him. That's OK and quite normal.
I have a house full of folks on their way. It's gonna be several days of cooking, cleaning, and smiling here.
So.....mornin' hugs time!!! (((Robyn)))
MsV - I hope things go well for you and your family this holiday. Have a safe move and let us know how you are.
To everyone here.....Thanksgivin' eve hugs!!!! ((((Everyone))))
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I think, the deepest ?? asked by my son.
